Naruto of the Nine Tails
by EDelta88
Summary: At age nine the seal malfunctions warping Naruto's mind and body until he is little more than an animal but like they say, man's best friend, or girl's in this case. What now? Will he recover? NaruxHina SasuxSaku Feral!Naruto
1. It Comes To This

Insert Diclaimer of Your Choice Here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_'Blah Blah Blah'_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking to Naruto

**_Blah Blah Blah _**Kyuubi's thoughts

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

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**Chp 1: It Comes To This  
**

Knock Knock…no answer. Knock Knock…no answer. The old man sighed as he realized his mistake; 'O_f course he's not going to answer a plain knock,' _he mentally scolded himself.

"Naruto open up it's Sarutobi," he called. There was no response but rather the hesitant patter of a small pair of feet approaching the door and several mechanical scrapes and clicks. A moment later the door opened just a crack revealing a small spiky blonde head peaking cautiously out at his visitor.

'_Well it looks like Sarutobi-jiji,' _but in his experience that counted for very, VERY, little. Then Sarutobi held up the bag of groceries. Resisting the urge to fling open the door Naruto asked, "What's my favorite kind of ramen?"

"All kinds," came the Sandaime's response. Apparently satisfied Naruto shut the door to release the last of the locks and stepped back to allow his surrogate grandfather into his 'home'. '_How did it come to this?_' Sarutobi asked himself, '_How is it that a nine year old child has to fortify his home?_ _Not to mention the traps,' _he thought glancing sadly at the window across the room that was ridged with an assortment of seal tags, exploding notes, pepper bombs, alarms, and enough kunai traps to make even the blade loving Tenten scream overkill.

**Flashback**

* * *

_A young chunnin came into the room, "Hokage-sama."_

_Sarutobi looked up from the form he had been filling out, "Yes Sota what is it?"_

_"There's been another incident with Naruto."_

'Again! Why can't these people leave that poor boy alone?'_ "What was it this time?" asked tiredly, even though the penalty for attacking a ninja of the village was death some were still harassing the poor boy._

_"Someone broke into the apartment…well tried to."_

_Raising an eyebrow the Sandaime asked, "Tried?"_

_"It would seem that Naruto was..." he paused for a moment searching for the best term to describe it, "prepared," yes that would do. Seeing that the Hokage still did not fully understand he continued, "the perpetrator,"_ 'more like pincushion,' _the young man inwardly chuckled, "is currently in the urgent care center for injuries suffered when he set off several of the traps attached to the window that he was attempting to get through."_

* * *

**End Flashback**

He had lost count of the number of times someone had tried to kill the boy. They'd tried everything: poison, stabbings, stonings, beatings, the list went on. By the laws of the village(and common decency) all those that had done something to the boy should have been killed on the spot, and if he had had his way would have, but the problem was if he did too much to protect the boy people would call for his resignation sighting that he had been "corrupted" and Naruto would lose what little he could give him.

"Nigh," the stifled grunt of pain snapped Sarutobi from his musing. Naruto had an obscene pain threshold, so a grunt that we would normally interpret as "I have a stomach ache" or "I scrapped my knee" for another child translated as "I just got stabbed... repeatedly" for Naruto, anything less and he would just grin and bear it... literally.

"Naruto are you alright," he asked looking into the boy's grimacing face.

"Just a stomach ache," he answered, "probably just hungry," '_I hope.'_

"**You and me both kit." **Came a deep rough voice.

"Ak!" Naruto yelped whipping out a kunai from god knows where, "Who said that!?"

"Who said what?" asked Sarutobi while straining his senses to detect an intruder.

"**I did,"** came the voice.

"Damn it where are you?" Naruto whispered to himself trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

"**Behind you."**

Whirling around, his kunai up to defend himself Naruto found nothing there, _'What the fuck?'_

"**BWAAAAAAHHHH HA HA HAAAAA, Y-HA HA HAAAAA YOU ACTUALLY FELL FOR IT HE HE HEEEEEEE."**

Naruto just stood there dumbfounded, 'O_ooooooooook... just what the hell is going on?' _As far as he could remember none of the people who had broken into his apartment (house, room, box, whatever he happened to be living in at the time) had acted like this, usually they were yelling some hateful gibberish, not screwing around like this and NO ONE had ever done anything while jiji was around.

"**I'll tell you what's going on, I'm saying hello and letting off a little pent up boredom and to be fair you'd do the same if you were stuck in cage for nine years with almost nothing to do."**

Now thoroughly confused Naruto turned to the third, a look on his face clearly pleading for an explanation. Unfortunately, seeing as the third had not heard the exchange he knew less then Naruto. Coming to the conclusion that the aged Hokage could not help him, and becoming very frustrated, Naruto reacted the only way he knew how... complete meltdown.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"

"**To put it simply the demon imprisoned in your stomach, that's me, is saying hello." **Feeling a trace of disbelief floating around Naruto's mind Kyuubi added "**Ask the old man about what happened the day you were born."**

Now desperate for some kind of explanation Naruto turned to the third, "What happened the day I was born?"

"What?" he replied in confusion.

"The demon in my st-"

"**Kyuubi,"** he interrupted.

"Kyuubi," he corrected "said to ask about it," then realizing what he had just said and putting together a rough picture of what it meant his legs gave out.

Having realized what must have been going on in the boy's head the old man bent down to sit next to Naruto.

"Nine years ago," he began, "Kyuubi the greatest of all demons-"

"**Damn right."**

"-attacked our village. The fourth…" he paused as though debating something then coming to a decision he continued, "Unlike what is widely believed Minato was not able to kill the beast-"

**"WHO ARE YOU CALLING BEAST YOU BALDING PRUNE!"**

"-and so he was forced to use a powerful kinjutsu to seal it away. In order for the technique to work he had to seal it in a newborn child, and you were the only one born that day."

"YOU MEAN I'M-"

"A hero," finished the aging Sarutobi, "to a very ungrateful people. It should never have been like this..." he ended with a sigh.

"So in other words I-AUGH!?" Naruto cried doubling over holding his stomach as he began to glow red.

**"What the hell…oooh shit."

* * *

**

**A/N**

Edited: 01/17/10

Muh ha ha cliffy. What just happened? Why did it happen? Well you'll just have to read and find out won't you. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter I try to get the next one done soon.

* * *

**Muse Rant**

Hi I'm the muse, ie the: author's inspiration, random fact checker, Naruto encyclopedia, Beta and bunkmate of the author…and for my first rant this goes out to Delta(the author). **IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO FINISH THE FIRST FREAKING CHAPTER.** I mean seriously he started working on this in DECEMBER of 06 and it's now MARCH of 07. Now in the future Delta will update faster (I'll make sure of it) and the chapters will gradually get longer. Now please review this story if you wish (flamers will be hunted down skinned and added to my door mat or given to my sadistic little sister as a toy). Now I bid you adiu walks off in search of chocolate, caffeine, and good music


	2. Fieldtrips and Fangirls

Insert Disclaimer Here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_'Blah Blah Blah'_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking to Naruto Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

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**Chp 2: Field trips and Fangirls**

"Alright everyone today's a field trip," calls out their white haired instructor.

Most of the class minus the few quiet and/or depressed souls all yip with glee at the prospect of learning something new (and I'm a pink monkey. Learn, HA! more like get out of the stuffy classroom).

As everyone starts filing out the door one of the students turns to her friend, "At this rate Naruto's gonna get held back again."(5)

"I know, he hasn't shown up for a week," the blonde replied then turning back to her pink haired friend asks, "What's the deal is he sick or something, I mean sure he skips a lot but not like this and I haven't seen him all week."(1)

"I don't know" she sighed, "I went by his apartment to drop off his homework and the manager said he wasn't living there anymore."

_'She actually went to his house?'_ "That is odd, maybe-"

'_NO MORE! PLEASE NO MORE!'_ thought a raven haired kid a few feet away who seemed to be attempting (and failing) to drown out the gossips by upping the volume of his music. '_Cmon there has to be something I put on here… ' _He looked around desperately, fangirls he could take, gossips he could take, but gossiping fangirls were something else entirely. Then, '_I'M SAVED!' _and with that thought in mind he made a beeline for one of the other students.

"Shino I need a hand."

"Yes, what with?" Sasuke shows him his MP3 player, "Ah Sakura and Ino at it again?" he nods understandingly spotting the girls several feet away. "What shall it be, soft rock, hard rock, metal, rap, classical, techno, hymns, bongo, " he asked flipping a CD out of nowhere with each genre he listed.

"What ya got that's loud?"

A moment later "I CAN'T ESCAPE THIS HELL," and Sasuke slipped off into the screaming bliss of Three Days Grace, little did he know just how appropriate his selection was (2).

Several minutes pass as the class moves through the streets toward there destination when one of the young kunoichi, a rather shy creature with indigo hair, pupiless lavender eyes, and wearing a rather bulky jacket, in a fit of curiosity asks, "Mizuki-sensei where is Iruka-sensei?"

"He's sick today Hinata-chan," replied. Now normally this would be no big deal, everyone gets sick right, but Iruka had never been out sick (even if he should have been) so our little gossips were having a field day.

"I'll bet it's exhaustion he hasn't had an off day in years," was Ino's first theory.

"Are you kidding he's a chunnin, just teaching and the occasional mission would never be enough to exhaust Iruka-sensei."

"Ya, you're right… maybe someone poisoned him."

"Alright you two that's enough," came Mizuki's voice from the front as he got ready to address the class as a whole (or he just doesn't want them to continue that theory, hm... how suspicious), apparently they had reached their destination.

For a moment it seemed that Sakura at least was going to protest then she paused staring at something a short distance in front of the group. '_Odd, I don't remember that cage being here before,' _and indeed there was a rather nondescript cage that looked like it had been plucked from a zoo now situated away from the major portion of the village on the edge of one of the training grounds.

Her curiosity getting the better of her Sakura went to investigate, but as she got close enough to see past the bars to what was inside she froze her mouth hanging open in speechless horror.

"Eh, what's with you?" came Ino's voice, then as her freind followed her gaze she heard her gasp, "Naruto?"

Indeed it was Naruto, or at least what was left. Perched on a rock in the middle of the cage was a boy in black canvas pants (3) staring up at the now gathered class through the dark slits in his crimson eyes. Sticking up out of his hair, which was now rusty red, were two pointed furry ears of a similar shade and flowing behind him nine white tipped tails of the same color.

"S-Sakura-san look at this," said a teary eyed Hinata, as Sakura went over to look at what the girl had found.

"Well now why all the long faces?" Mizuki called to the class in a voice that left no doubts that he was very much enjoying this, "he deserved what he go-" but he never got the chance to finish.

"YOU SON OF A BI-" WAM! The hit that Haruno Sakura delivered to her teacher's skull drove him into the ground like a stake achieving an effect similar to that of **Doton: Shinjuu Zanshuu no jutsu.**(4)

"Sakura wha-" came Ino's startle voice but she was interrupted before she could finish.

"READ THIS!" she bellowed jabbing her finger at a small plaque on the cage.

_During the attack of the Kyuubi no Kitsune on this village the Fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato, gave his life to seal it away in the body of a newborn child who would henceforth act as its jailer. It had been the hope of the Fourth that the child be received as a hero by the people of Konoha, sadly this was not the case and I was powerless to prevent it. Nine years after the attack the seal malfunctioned for reasons unknown. As the youkai bleeding through the seal warped his body Naruto was able to control himself long enough for me to take ample counter measures to ensure the continued protection of the village. Now here he will stay for the rest of his days having given everything for this ungrateful village._

_-Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage_

As she finished reading Ino stared at the boy she had long considered an annoyance awed, then turned to comfort Sakura who was now sitting against a tree hugging her knees crying her eyes out.

"I didn't think you even liked him all that much."

"I didn't," she said giving a choked laugh, "he drove me nuts. Still he didn't deserve this..."

"Sakura shut up," said Sasuke, _'W__hining won't bring him back,' _he thought as images of _that_ night flashed thru his mind.

WAM! In another display of inhuman strength Sakura sent her, now former, crush sailing with a right hook to the jaw.

'_Was it something I said?' _wondered the now tumbling prodigy.

* * *

**A/N**

Edited: 01/17/10

(1) He's pretty hard to miss, loud orange clad neon blonde prankster

(2) Song: Animal I've Become by Three Days Grace

(3) And nothing else.

(4) Inner Decapitation- ends up with victim burried up to their neck

(5) Naruto was admited early hence why his classmates are his age even though he's been held back

* * *

**Rant of the Muse**

Finally, chapter 2 is finished. For those of you who left reviews THANK YOU!! I am sorry about the bit with the plaque, it had to be done we might come back and repost the chapter. Those of you who have ideas on how we could of done that bit better SPEAK UP. Read and review this chapter please. Flamers will be hunted down, skinned and added to my doormat.


	3. Musing and Mayhem Part:1

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking to Naruto Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

**A/N**

I thought I'd explained everything well enough but evidently I didn't cause I've been getting a lot of questions. Sorry everyone.

First of all the question of "How did Naruto change?" basically the seal cracked leaking youkai (demonic energy) into Naruto's body mutating his cells and effectively driving him crazy (i.e. his thoughts, behavior, intelligence, etc. are now that of a wild animal).

Also this is a NaruxHina, I went back and I think I found what might have confused some of you, the reason Hinata was not balling her eyes out rather then Sakura was because, as I see it, there are three levels of grief: (1) "ya I'm sad but I'll live" (2) balling your eyes out (Sakura) (3) denial, basically it is so bad that it just doesn't register so there is very little **immediate** reaction.

Those were the two big ones; remember if you are at all confused, please put it in your review. Speaking of reviews, I WANT FEEDBACK, how am I supposed to get better at this if I don't know whether I'm doing a good job or not. So feel free and as long as it's not malicious like "dude you suck go crawl in a hole and die" I can take criticism, so feel free to point stuff out to me.

The spoiler was a one time thing to get people hooked when there was only one chapter for all of you who were wondering why there wasn't one last chapter.

Ok whichever of you it was who gave my muse caffeine I hate you with a passion. He hasn't left me alone for five freaking minutes and when he's not pestering me to either write or brainstorm he's glaring at me; seriously I've got scabs all over my back from where his eyes have been boring into me.

On the note of the story, a lot of people have been complaining about how long it takes me to update, I'm going as fast as I can. Some chapters will take longer then others, deal with it.

* * *

**Chp 3: Musing and Mayhem Part:1**

_**Several weeks since the field trip incident**_

As the last of the tourist (yes Naruto has become a tourist attraction, it's the whole tails and ears thing) left for the night a young raven haired academy student peeks out from behind a tree scanning the area for any prying eyes.

"Heh heh," chuckles a spectral figure from one of the many trees surrounding the cage. It had been the same for months, every night the Uchiha kid would come and sit against the bars talking to his friend, or at least the creature that had once been his friend.

'_How did I get stuck babysitting again?' _Anko muses boredly twirling a kunai, '_oh yeah easy money "an extended D rank paying a B commission due to possible complications,"' _that's what the Third had said when he'd asked her to join the rotating watch. '_Old geezer didn't tell me it was gonna be so _boring_, oh well the pay's good.'_

"Sakura's been a royal pain lately, now that you're gone she doesn't have anyone to vent on, but I can't complain I guess, one less fangirl to worry about. Ino and the others are still… "

'_Sakura… isn't that the pink haired kid that visits every day after the academy lets out?' _

To answer Anko's thought, yes Sakura had been coming by, sometimes accompanied by Hinata, Ino or both (those three had really grown close lately), every day to visit Naruto bringing him treats, for some strange reason ramen seemed to be his favorite, especially from this Ichiraku place(they weren't really sure how they'd figured it out), from time to time but mostly just to keep him company for a little while.

'_Damn nosy disembodied voice reading my thoughts. Man this whole place is on the fritz, even those stick in the mud Hyuuga.' _Recently the Hyuuga heiress had taken to disappearing for hours at a time, not to mention the "delinquent tendencies" she had begun developing according to some of the clan elders. '_Kid has spunk though,'_ Anko thought to herself remembering the "incident" a week or so earlier.

**Flashback**

* * *

_Late one evening the young girl had crept to the edge of Naruto's cage and JUMPED IN, as in willingly entered the cage of, what was for all intents and purposes, a chibified Biju._

_Earlier that day Hinata had walked past a group of girls talking about some of the horrible things Naruto had done since transforming (Translation: little gossiping twits that got into a pissing contest over who could make the worst rumor). After being told by Hinata, in a small but surprisingly forceful voice, that they were mistaken one of the girls had dared her to spend the night in Naruto's cage. Meaning it as a joke and fully expecting Hinata to laugh while declining the proposal, you can imagine how horrified she was when Hinata accepted._

_So it was that Hinata, under the watchful, though hidden, eye of one previously stated Mitarashi Anko, entered Naruto's domain (all 150 square meters of it). _

_Now normally it would have been the first thing to oh say jump in and get the "poor defenseless girl" out of harms ways but for whatever reason the Hokage had said for the guards stay hidden until absolutely necessary. And so Anko just sat and watched (very very closely)._

_As Hinata landed on the floor of Naruto's cage some five meters bellow ground level her confidence in her longtime idol finally cracked. _

'What if it's not even Naruto anymore?'_ Iruka sensei had gone over the theory of what the youkai had done to Naruto in class but_… 'What if he's wrong? What if the there was no lingering impression of the original and the warped Naruto…BAD HINATA!'_ she berated herself shaking the "bad thoughts" from her mind._

_All the while the cage's slightly bewildered occupant stood (all fours) a few feet away eying his visitor in a manor that would be best explained as the "hmmm." Seemingly reaching a decision Naruto crept up to the new arrival till he was right next to her._

'BADBADBADBAD-eh?' _looks down and, "EEK!" the yell was more from surprise then from actually being scared but it didn't matter._

_Hinata's surprised yelp startled the inquisitive boy sending him twenty feet to the top of a rock formation hissing like a mad cat._

_For a moment they both just stood there, Hinata staring at Naruto and Naruto staring back. Then, ever so slowly, Naruto left his perch prowling toward the young Hyuuga never taking his eyes off of her. _

_Said Hyuuga was currently debating just what Naruto was doing, and whether or not to make like a banana and split, when she was enlightened as to the nature of her situation._

_It didn't matter what he was going to do because whatever it was there was nothing she could do to stop him and in all probability he was faster then her so running was most likely an exercise in futility._

_That, the knowledge of just how completely helpless she was, terrified her and as Naruto drew closer she simply closed her eyes and waited. For several moments nothing happened as she listened to him pad closer, then about a foot from her they stopped. Nothing happened. No searing pain, nothing griping her throat, just a soft rhythmic sound. That was it just a sound._

_'_GAAAAH what is he doing?'_ she wondered, her curiosity all but eating holes in her shirt. Finally she couldn't take it, she opened her eyes…_

_He was sniffing her leg._

_For a moment she just stared, then the stress of the past few minutes finally caught up to her. Just as the thought of how anticlimactic her situation was crossed her mind she blacked out_

_A short while later Hinata awoke on the ground. At first she didn't remember where she was and so did what any sensible half asleep nine year old in her position would do. She panicked. _

_"Where am I?!" she asked herself whipping her head around in every direction in an attempt to find something familiar. However after a moment the memories of the day returned replacing the panic with confusion._

'Where is Naruto-kun?_' she thought looking around for the boy. It wasn't hard, for one thing the cage wasn't very big and for another his long bushy tails(3)were pretty hard to miss. When she found him he was in his "den" curled into a ball fast asleep._

'He's really cute when he sleeps,' _she thought, then lying down a few feet away,_ 'I should probably get some sleep too.'

_There was one major flaw in Hinata's plan (well three really): it was nighttime, the temperature was dropping like a stone, and she only had a pair of pants and a light jacket. So for the next thirty minutes or so she lay there shivering when all of a sudden something wrapped around her middle lifting her up. _

_"EEP!" she whirled her head around to see who had hold of her only to see, _'Naruto-kun?'

_To be more specific it was Naruto's tail that had her. Naruto himself was looking at her doing a passable impression of Shikamaru's "hey I'm trying sleep here, what's with all that racket" look. Then he just rolled over, his tails however, they began encircling Hinata cocooning her in a fox tail sleeping bag._

'Sooooo comfy,'_ and then she was out like a light in a blackout._

* * *

**End Flashback**

At this point the musing Anko suddenly fell into a fit of silent giggles that reduced the young tokubetsu jounin to a quivering ball.

_'Oh the looks on their faces were priceless,' _she thought.

What she was referring to was what had taken place the morning after when two men walking passed Naruto's cage had seen Hinata in "the clutches of the demon." They had been arguing, loudly, over whether to do something themselves or go get the Hokage when all of a sudden Hinata's head had popped up over the cage wall politely asking them in a very drowsy voice to, and I quote, "Excuse me, shut up." Then she had let herself back down, walked back to the den, snuggled down into Naruto's tails, and gone back to sleep. The dumbfound look on the men's faces had indeed been priceless.

After a few minutes of writhing on her branch Anko sat up now looking far less happy. She new Naruto was the "Kyuubi Kid" and all but she really didn't understand why people thought he was so dangerous.

"For crying out loud you even toss toys back when they fall into the cage," she said more to herself then to Naruto (4). _'People have more reason to be afraid of me, even you knew that,'_ she thought, remembering the incident during Mizuki's "field trip."

"Field trip my pasty white ass," she snorted.

**Flashback**

* * *

_Hinata is standing against the bars staring blankly into the cage, the rest of the class is talking amongst themselves. One, a few inches shorter than the rest breaks off heading for Hinata._

_"Nee-chan are you ok," the lavender-eyed girl asks._

_Turning her head slightly but still starring into the cage Hinata answers, "Yes Hanabi I'm fine."(5) _

_Crossing her arms and adopting her "alright my ass" look she wheedles, "Does the baka have something to do with this?" All Hinata heard was "baka."_

_BAAAAAAAD choice of words genius._

_"What was that?" she asked in a voice as cold as the Alaskan tundra._

'OOOOOH CRAP! RABID HINATA! RUN FOR IT!_' Unfortunately for her the "it" was a 5 meter drop into Naruto's cage, a sickening blow to the head, and a broken arm._

_Needless to say by this time most of the class was thoroughly panicked. Anko, who had sent for a medical team, was now jumping into the cage to retrieve the little Hyuuga prodigy. There was one problem though, Naruto was already there._

_Suddenly Naruto, who had been crouched by Hanabi nudging her head, sniffed the air once then whirled around flaring his tails behind him growling._

_Anko froze, the look on Naruto's face clearly meant, "come any closer and I kill you in the most spectacular and messy fashion available," but she needed to get to the girl._

"_Ngh," Hanabi grunted in pain as she began to wake up._

_Giving Anko one last glare Naruto started to turn back to Hanabi but stopped sniffing the air again. In a sudden flash of movement Naruto's tails rapped around Hanabi, for some reason Anko did not understand he had several supporting her head and neck, lifting her from the ground then he sped off to the other end of the cage._

_When Anko got there at first all she saw was Naruto perched on one of his rocks looking at something off to her right. Looking around she found Hanabi…and the medic team?_

* * *

**End Flashback**

_'You knew they were coming didn't you,_' snort, '_those guys really need to shower more often,'_ hearing something from toward the village Anko turns to look then sighs, "Oh great," coming toward the cage is a small mob, think torch and pitchforks(so all civies by the look of it), "Oh well beggars can't be choosers… I hope they pick the hard way."

Hopping down from the tree Anko paces calmly in front of the cage for a minute waiting for the crowd to arrive.

"Eve'nin folks what can I do you for," Anko calls mockingly to the crowd as they get close.

"Move it bitch," one of them calls throwing a brick at her.

_'That's it? That's all I get? A freakin brick?'_ Anko pouts moving her hand to intercept the projectile.

But the brick never made it.

* * *

Edited: 01/17/10

**Muse Rant**

SOS! SOS! SOS! HE'S CONSIDERING HOLDING CHAPTERS HOSTAGE IF YOU DON'T REVIEW. Now granted I already know what's going to happen and I proofread for him but I have friends at school reading this and they're threatening to cut out my liver with a spoon, *whimpers while shuddering uncontrollably* **A FREAKING SPOON HELP MEEEEEE.**

*Pant pant sweat sweat…finally calming down* moving on thank you to Foxtrot (this alias has been chosen to protect the identity of my benefactor lest she suffers Delta's wrath, and trust me no one wants to be on the receiving end of that *shudders at bad memories*) for the Pepsi, no-dose, and Hershey bars she wer-

**SHE GAVE YOU CHOCOLATE TOO!!!!!!!!**

*Cower* and I thought I was crazy.

**THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CRAZY AND SLEEP DEPRIVED YOU PINT SIZED SADISTIC SALT SHAKER!!!!!**

*Currently hiding under a rock* oh that's low, it's not my fault I have such bad dandruff.

**YOU SHOWER ONCE A WEEK IF I BEAT YOU WITH A STICK!!!!!**

_Little to the right…_*presses the shiny red button*

**Ahhhhh...........**

Ok that should hold him... I hope. As I was saying before I was so maliciously interrupted, thank you Foxtrot (he he Foxtrot) for the stuff you sent me and don't worry about Delta he's really just a big softy.

*as though from far away* **I heard that!**

Better make myself scarce *takes off at a pace that would leave Speedy Gonzalaz green with envy*

* * *

Notes/explainations

(1) In flashbacks ""=talk ''=thought

(2) For anyone who may be confused, after the effects of the "fight or flight" wears off you feel exhausted.

(3) Naruto's tails are roughly 15 feet long

(4) Yes toys, and other stuff, have fallen in the cage and Naruto does throw it back

(5) It's not that uncommon to gain early entry, Naruto did.


	4. Musing and Mayhem Part:2

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking to Naruto Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**A/N **

Ok everyone here's the next chapter; sorry for the delay there were issues with school, my laptop, and a whole lot of other crap.

Sorry for the cliffy last time. It had been my wish to stop using cliffhangers as often, however I had to split musing and mayhem into 2 chapters.

* * *

**Chp 4: Musing and Mayhem Part: 2**

As the brick sailed towards Anko's waiting hand a demonic snarl rent the air. Before the brick made it another foot it was slapped out of the air with such tremendous force that it disintegrated scattering in a cloud of red dust. A moment later the dust settled revealing Naruto crouched on all fours in front of Anko, his tails billowing angrily behind him and his lips drawn back over his teeth in a menacing snarl.

'_What the hell!?'_ Anko thought, _'No way, how in the nine circles of hell did he break through Hokage-sama's barrier?_' But at that moment Naruto bent back on his legs, "Oh shit! ALL OF YOU RUN!!"

But it was to late, even as she yelled to them to flee Naruto launched forward cutting a path of limbs and gore through the crowd.

"BACK UP! I NEED BACK UP!!" Anko shrieked into her radio, while grabbing a random villager and carrying them a safe distance from the massacre-in-progress.

"Acknowledged, who do you need and where should I send them," answered a voice as Naruto turn for another pass through the mob.

"The Hokage and every available ANBU in the village! Location is Training area 42!"

"Holy shit what the hell is going on down there!"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

* * *

_**Moments later**_

As Naruto continued to slaughter the mob three ANBU squads arrived looking to Anko for instructions.

"Get as many people out of here as you can then try to subdue the boy," the men (and women) nodded then proceeded with the evacuation. As Anko set down another villager she turned to see the Third dashing toward her.

"What happened?" he asked as he saw, and heard, Naruto hurl a man into a tree shattering both wood and bone with a sickening crunch.

"To tell the truth I'm not sure," she said as one of the villagers went flying into the tree behind her, "One minute he was playing in his cage then this crew showed up, I was gonna get rid of them but one chucked a brick, next thing I know...well," she motioned toward the chaos behind her.

Nodding Sarutobi began moving toward Naruto "Ok, I'll do what I can to distract him, once everyone's safe you and the others come help me."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

'_Fools_,' he thought to himself as he approached Naruto, _'They should have known better then to harass him like this_,' continued as he did his best to distract the boy.

As Naruto sped toward yet another of the offending villagers a man moved in front of him blocking his path. For a split second he readied his talons to carve through the fool when he saw the man's face and simply bobbed to the side brushing past the Hokage and continuing toward his target.

Twice more the Sandaime attempted to block Naruto's path and both times Naruto simply brushed past him sparing little more then a glance.

'_He's ignoring me,_' he realized then, '_Does he believe I'm not a threat_?' he wondered his pride slightly battered that a nine-year old might consider him such. '_How ironic that I spent years gaining his trust only to end up needing him to feel threatened_,' he thought snickering derisively to himself, '_wait I could_-'

Not even bothering to finish his thought Sarutobi barreled toward Naruto's retreating form. Channeling chakra into his hand he chopped Naruto's neck with enough force to send the child into a comma (so Naruto'd be out for like ten minutes) only to have his hand pass through thin air.

'_Shit where'd he go!?_' glancing around to find Naruto in a defensive crouch a few feet away staring at him. _'He's confused?'_ It was more of a question then a statement, why was he- _'He doesn't understand why I'm attacking him,'_ he realized but as Naruto turned away Sarutobi remembered what he was there to do.

Making several seals, "**Katon: Housenka no jutsu**" he said before sending a barrage of fireballs at Naruto or rather at the area around him and in front of him to force him to change his course.

A wonderfully effective plan under "normal" circumstances, however, the jutsu proved completely pointless when Naruto just ran through them.

'_Wow I must be going senile, he's host to a high level fire spirit you old fool_,' he scolded himself even as he proceeded to send the book, wait make that the library, at Naruto. Kage Shuriken, Kage Bunshin, Doton, Raiton, Suiton, Futon it didn't make a difference, granted they still did damage when they hit but each time Naruto just shrugged it off... well in the case of Earth wall and the Water Barrier he went through them but the results were the same. Now the "Professor" only had one Ace left.

Making a string of handseals Sarutobi slammed his palm into the ground, "Enma!" and as the smoke cleared there stood his greatest allie in all his majesty but that was not what made the Third sigh in relief; Naruto had stopped dead and was now starring warily at the monkey king. _'Hm, so he considers Enma a threat... interesting, perhaps it has something to do with Enma not being human?'_

"Yes Sarutobi what is it, did you finally come to your senses and change your mind about Orochimaru?"

"No this is about Naruto."

"Oh?" asked the monkey summon now very curious as to what ingenious prank the hyper little blond could have pulled off that would require his summoning. For the first time he turned to survey his surroundings until his eyes fell on the young jinchuuriki and his eyes glazed over in sad realization. "I'll ask what happened later; do I have to kill him?"

"Only if you can't subdue him."

For several minutes Sarutobi and Enma occupied the majority of Naruto's attention while the Anbu (plus Anko) cleared out what remained of the mob then, their task finished, they to joined the fight to, if possible, capture the boy. But due to the overwhelming concentration it took to fight the nine year old jinchuuriki none of them noticed the new presence in the clearing until it was too late.

"Naruto-Kun!?"

Glancing toward the source of the noise the Third's eyes widened in horror as he saw a young girl staring at the battle from the edge of the clearing. Several of the Anbu began to yell at her to run, several even attempted a Shunshin to get to her but it was already to late.

TWUMP

Hinata was thrown to her back as Naruto pounced on her and as he crouched there perched on her chest as the entire clearing held its breath...

* * *

Edited: 01/17/10

**End Notes **

A thousand apologies for how long this chp took everyone this one is a big set up for the rest of the story so I had to be really careful as to how I worded everything and what I revealed.

On an entirely different note thanks for all of the encouragement but I would really prefer constructive reviews. That's really what I was asking for last time sorry if I confused you.

* * *

**Muse Rant **

ALL OF YOU GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!

Oh ya I know how some of you think: Naruto's Perched on Hinata's chest… this is a NaruxHina… STOP RIGHT THERE PERVERTS. Granted that's what I wanted to happen but Delta Vetoed it *mumbles incoherent obscenities under his breath*

**They are nine you know, they still think you get cooties from kissing**

You no fun

**I'm lots of fun, I'm just a different kind of fun**

You do realize how that sounds

**And you wonder why I call you a pervert**

* * *

**Cliff Notes **

**1. Katon: Housenka no jutsu **(Fire style: Phoenix Fire technique)- the user spits multiple fireballs

**2. Shunshin **(body flicker)- a technique used to move at incredible speed ranging from blindingly fast to instantaneous.


	5. Leepon

(Insert disclaimer here)

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, graphic imagery, and clowns

* * *

**A/N**

Sry for the wait everyone I've had my hands full for the past few weeks with the end of school, graduating, moving, etc.

Another thing that I noticed that no one called me on, I went back and reread the other chps. My spelling sucks it through a straw, I don't know how you guys could take it but I will be more careful in the future(and will be going back to edit).

On to business, for all of you _still_ telling me to turn this into a harem, NO, I've already outlined the story and will not be changing it.

Next, if you're confused about something please ask. Although I do my best to explain everything I do miss stuff.

I also got a question on Naruto's power. He is not actually stronger then the third, yet, the third was not using lethal force.

Lastly, I'm going to do my best to tie up a lot of loose ends and explain some of the "whys" in this chp so read carefully.

Again I'm sorry about the long wait I do a lot of reading myself and I hate it when some one leaves off on a cliffy then takes a long time to get the next chp done.

* * *

**Chp 5: Leepōn**

Several seconds passed and nothing happened.

As Naruto remained poised above Hinata Sarutobi searched frantically for something, anything, he could do to save the poor girl. But even as he did so he knew there was nothing he could do to change the outcome. No jutsu, no tool, nothing that he knew would make a difference, not quickly enough.

Then in the blink of an eye it was over. On the edge of the blood soaked earth Hinata lay, like all the other victims of the night's events, motionless on the ground her body limp and eyes glazed over gazing unseeing into the distance.

For a moment longer no one moved not believing what they had just witnessed. Then, as one, all those that had been observing face vaulted, or in Anko's case fell to the ground laughing hysterically.

Naruto, who just prior to Hinata's appearance had been slaughtering people left, right, and center, had leaned down and affectionately licked the Hyuuga heiress on the cheek and had then situate himself in her lap curling into a tight ball. Needless to say (because I already did) everyone was floored (literally).

Surprisingly the first to recover was actually Hinata. Still somewhat dazed, she sat up to stare at the blood soaked jinchuuriki lying in her lap like he was some cute harmless beagle. A few seconds passed and then, very tentatively as if he were a bomb that could go off at any time (which, lets face it, to some extent he is), she reached out her hand and began stroking his back. Hearing him respond with a low contented growl she took that as a sign to continue.

By now all of the shinobi present, with the acceptation Anko who was still rolling on the ground laughing her ass off, had recovered from the shock of seeing the red headed killing machine suddenly switch to what would later be jokingly dubbed "Lovable House-Pet Mode."

"Ooookay, so…what now?" asked a silver haired ANBU turning toward the Third as he spoke.

For several moments Sarutobi said nothing then, "Escort them both to my office, I'll be there shortly and some one get me Hiashi," it was going to be a long night, "I'm getting to old for this shit," Hiruzen sighed as he walked back to his office.

* * *

_**Roughly thirty minutes later in the Hokage's office**_

The Sandaime sat behind his desk staring into the corner of his office where Hinata was fast asleep against Naruto who had curled up next to the wall. It was at this time when a rather grouchy Hyuuga Hiashi made his entrance.

"WHAT IS THE IDEA OF-" but the carefully prepared rant died on his lips as he caught sight of his eldest daughter curled up in a corner of the office, her bedclothes stained with dirt and blood, using the demon container as a pillow.

"Coffee?" offered Sarutobi not even turning to look.

Hiashi gaped in a very un-Hyuuga-like manner completely speechless. Here was the Third Hokage, the "Professor," the "God of Shinobi," sitting by as his daughter took a nap on what was one of the most dangerous and unstable individuals in Konoha, in the middle of the night no less, and he was acting as though it happened every day.

"What's going on?" he asked finally finding his voice.

"Earlier tonight," the Third explained, "a group of villagers provoked Naruto, his keeper radioed for backup but by the time I got there nearly half of the mob had been slaughtered." He paused for a moment to let that sink in then continued, "I did what I could to distract Naruto while the ANBU evacuated the remaining villagers. Once that was done we attempted to recapture Naruto, which frankly wasn't going to well, until your daughter showed up." Stealing a glance at the Hyuuga head the Third was not surprised to see that Hiashi looked completely bewildered, so to end the poor man's suffering, "The moment your daughter, I believe her name is Hinata," he said checking a file in his lap, "showed up Naruto curled up like a harmless pet."

"So…"

This time it was Sarutobi's turn to look dumb struck but then Hiashi continued.

"If that was it you'd have sent her home and informed me in the morning. So for you to feel the need see me at this time of night, excuse me," he said glaring pointedly at the clock on the wall, "morning. There must be something more to it then simply telling me that the boy killed a few civilians."

Smiling slightly at the tactful save, '_Never miss a beat do you._' "You're quite right but I'd think it would be obvious."

"Hm, how so?"

_'Ok so maybe he did miss a beat._ _No wonder he doesn't like being woken up early, he's not even half as sharp as usual if he missed that one,_' Sarutobi mused then, "Well think about what I just told you."

'_Alright, the villagers in their infinite wisdom did something to piss off blondie-er, carrot top… mmm down comforter…said red haired Minato clone, I need to remember to ask about that again, proceeds to route said village idiots thereby cleaning the gene pool, if only a little bit… I think we may want to add a little more fabric softener next time those sheets were kind of rough… the kid's watcher, who was it again, radioed for backup no surprise there, you'd have to be crazy to mess with that kid all on your own… _'

As Hiashi had been staring off into space for upwards of two and a half minutes now, Sarutobi was beginning to get impatient, however, Hiashi remained blissfully ignorant of this as he sleepily sifted through the information he'd been given.

Meanwhile back in Hiashi's mind '_…Hokage-sama distracted the kid…is he really that strong I mean sure he's got the Kyuubi but to give Hokage-sama such trouble is something else… ANBU evac the morons lucky enough to still be alive… real shame we could do to lose a few more of those ignorant pests… I wonder if Tora-san was able to take care of those termites for me…_'

"Are you sure you wouldn't like some coffee, or tea pehaps," Sarutobi asked, '_or a bucket of ice water or something else to wake you up._'

'…_Hinata showed up… what was she doing out at a time nigh-wait a sec the kid stopped when she…_' at this point Hiashi was more than awake as his mind went into the overdrive only available to parents his face slowly becoming the picture of disgruntled.

"I see you seem to have drawn some conclusion," but it was more of an invitation then an actual statement.

"You want Hinata to become the boy's… keeper," he answered.

"Precisley."

'_Aw shit I hate it when I'm right,_' Hiashi thought bitterly.

Chuckling softly at the 'wince' now adorning Hiashi's usually stern face. "Though I wouldn't call her his 'keeper' he's actually not that hard to look after," snickering slightly at horrified look Hiashi was giving him, "I propose that she keep a constant watch on Naruto."

"Unacceptable, having her constantly guarding his cage would interfere with her training as both a ninja as well as the future head of our clan," he argued waving his hand as though to brush the idea out of the air.

"I agree."

'_Come again?_' thought Hiashi as he turned to see a triumphant smile adorning the Third's aged features, '_Oh shit._'(Ever hear the saying, "old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.")

"I propose that Naruto come to live with her, stay with or," seeing the murderous glare Hiashi had shot at him, "close to her at all times."

'_Did I mention that I hate being right,' _Hiashi thought remembering an old saying he heard once 'old age and treachery will overcome youth and enthusiasm.'_ 'Note to self up Hinata's philosophy regimen._'

"Hokage-sama," he began holding the bridge of his nose attempting to stave off the oncoming migraine, "with all due respect putting the boy-"

"Naruto," he corrected.

"Yes, Naruto," he corrected absently before continuing, "in a densely populated compound, with no quick access to the resources necessary to contain him is not a very good idea."

"A valid point, however, our observations of Naruto since his… accident," the Third's expression fell slightly as he remembered, "indicate that Naruto is protective of those he recognizes as friendly, a kind of pack mentality. You remember your youngest's incident where she fell into Naruto's cage."

"Yes," he responded thinking back. He had been talking with some of the members of the council when a messenger had come telling him that there had been an accident and that Hanabi had been injured. Later after visiting Hanabi in the hospital he had talked to one of the medics to find out what to expect and found out she had suffered a concussion, a broken left arm and a broken neck. The medic had said it was lucky that the demon kid had interfered since standard procedure was to treat for shock because of the head injury but if Anko had turned her on her side like she was supposed to she would have sheered the spinal cord killing Hanabi instantly, but as it was she'd be out of the hospital in a matter of days no worse for wear. At the time he hadn't thought anything of it but now...

"Do you remember the brief on what we believed had happened to Naruto and the effects it would have on him?"

"Yes, you said that somehow the seal had malfunctioned and leaked the demon's youkai into the boy at an accelerated rate and that it mutated his cells. You also said that the majority of the higher thought processes had shut down so he was, in essence, an animal. But…" his voice trailed off and his eyes widened. (that ladies and germs is what we call an epiphany)

"We theorized that he would retain an impression of his former self but that it would be more instinctive in nature rather then a conscious decision," finished the Third. "Hanabi was in his class and it's my understanding that they knew each other at least in passing. Hinata was always kind to him when they spoke and after his transformation visited him regularly. On one occasion she even spent the night in his cage, for what reason I do not know."

"She what now?!" Hiashi demanded. (typical a girl spends the night with a boy and her father assumes the worst, they're 9 numb nut they still think you get cooties from kissing, a cookie to anyone who knows what cuddies actually are or takes the time to look it up though I may have the spelling wrong)

Ignoring this Sarutobi continued, "What I'm trying to explain is that we have found nothing to suggest that Naruto would attack without reason, however, in the event that he perceives a threat and engages it we need a way to control him and up until now we have had no way short of killing him to do so," he finished with a pointed look at Hinata.

"I fail to see how this would better contain the child, the situation you are suggesting would necessitate that he be mobile, wouldn't that be taking more of a risk?"

"In a way, however, the risk posed to others is nothing in the face of the benefits, besides with Hinata there we should have no problems."

"What kind of benefits?"

"Well for one, the ability to a closer look at what actually happened to Naruto."

This interested Hiashi, "Why have you not been able to do this before now?"

"We couldn't risk it. We couldn't sedate him, nothing we have worked and we had no way of knowing whether or not he would interpret our actions as hostile. Now with Hinata factored in we may be able to have her there to assure him that he isn't in danger. That coupled with any observations your family can provide, whether through the Byakuugan or otherwise, may provide a better explanation as to what happened."

"But you would still be asking my family to take an awful risk simply to protect the rest of the village, not to mention the posi-" but the Third cut him off.

"True, there is a risk but there are far more payoffs," he paused waiting to see Hiashi's reaction.

"Such as," he said raising his eyebrow ever so slightly. He could see a few benefits, primarily, if the boy were as protective as he was being led to believe, Hinata would have quite the bodyguard not to mention the guilt trip that he could have from his family having to care for "The Demon."

"Well as you have no doubt realized Naruto would make quite the bodyguard," he said in a "stating the obvious" tone, "not to mention the political power you would gain from being the ones to care for him." Pausing briefly, "There are also quite a few benefits for those who cared for him should he ever regain his… 'humanity.'"

At first this statement puzzled Hiashi, what could the boy's return to 'humanity' as the Third had put it possibly hold for them but very slowly he began to see what the old geezer was getting at. The boy would be in their debt at the very least and then if he were…

As realization dawned apron the Hyuuga patriarch Sarutobi added his final bait, "As I understand it most of the greater blood limits were created through the sealing of lesser demons. The greatest demon of all time is sealed in this boy and he seems to have taken quite a liking to your daughter, if they keep this up we won't need the Sharingan."

If anyone were to look they would notice that the usually cold and composed face of the Hyuuga patriarch was almost glowing with suppressed glee.

(Hook, line, and sinker)

* * *

Edited: 01/17/10

**End Notes**

Ok I know at least some of you are looking at the name of this chp and saying WTF. No I haven't lost it; you can't lose what you never had. It's Greek (spelled in phonetic English); it means "Then" as in Naruto jumped Hinata "then" licked her cheek causing Hiashi to rupture a blood vessel in his temple necessitating his trip to the hospital to be treated for blood loss.

Also for any of you that didn't figure it out at the end there, in my story bloodlines are created in one of two ways, a natural mutation or the sealing of a demon. The Byakuugan was formed by sealing a lesser demon, for a comparison the demon sealed was the equivilant of about a hair from one of kyuubi's tails. Now knowing that think of the bloodline that sealing kyuubi would create

* * *

**Muse Rant **

**Three cheers for insomia… I want to sleep…I want to sleep…I want to sleep**

Delta wrote all of this after dark and half of it when he couldn't sleep, kind of like me and my story 'Who's the Hostage' which by the way Delta is posting for me. I don't get it but for some reason I can't think of squat when I try but then at like 4:00 in the morning it just comes to me.

**Ya sure it's not the moon rocks you're snorting?**

Ha ha very funny. You know full well that I stopped making those.

**I know. I'm the one who got you to stop.**

Oooh…really?

**I give up.**


	6. The Family Dog, Sort of

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

Naruto of the Nine Tails

Rated M for language, violence, graphic imagery, clowns, and gallows humor

* * *

**A/N**

I'm baaaaaack. Sorry it took so long I just got a new computer with the accursed vista and a dud battery so I've been trying to get that squared away along with series of unfortunately time consuming events, two of which were week long vacations and one was going to see my little sister play in soccer finals(nationals). Then top it all with, you're gonna get a kick out of this, a word processor that doesn't work with FF. I mean honestly what serial rapist of innocent bunnies was I in a past life.

Ok one thing before I get started, you guys are seriously starting to weird me out. I mean for the love of all that is holy do some of you have ESP or something cause the only other reasons I can come up with for my readers' uncanny ability to predict what's coming next are rather disturbing. The less scary of the two is that I'm being really obvious and that's just depressing and the other is that one or more of you is spying on me which is just creepy.

* * *

**Chp 6:The Family Dog…Sort of**

It was early morning in the hidden leaf when the sun's gentle touch stirred Hinata from her peaceful slumber. Very slowly she returned to consciousness(you know, that annoying time between naps) and as she did so she inevitably began to notice that something was…off.

Her futon seemed very hard this morning…odd, maybe she fell off and just didn't wake up. Also for some reason her blanket seemed…how to put it…fuzzy, perhaps someone had found her without a blanket and used a bath robe to cover her. Then there was her pillow, which was the most intriguing of her lethargic observations, it was breathing…

_'Wait...'_

Hinata's eyes snapped open as the previous night's events came rushing back. Raising her head slightly she stared at her "pillow," rust colored hair currently matted with dried blood, whisker marks, claws, and quite comfortable the young Jinchuuriki lay curled into a tight ball with his tails draped over Hinata like a down comforter.

Pushing herself up to a sitting position the little heiress took a cursory look around the room in which she was currently located. _'H__m… big desk, chair behind the big desk, Hokage-sama in the chair behind the big desk, lots of paper on the big desk, chairs in front of the big desk, otou-san in one of the chairs in front... of…uh oh.'_

As observed the Hyuuga patriarch was seated in one of the chairs in front of the Hokage wearing his customary white robe and blank stare, well blank to the untrained eye. His lips formed a line while the remainder of his face showed symptoms indicative of a moderate case of boredom, which translated to he was very pleased with something which puzzled the young girl to no end. Her otou-san was never content let alone pleased, what could possibly be going on.

"Ah good morning Hinata-chan."

Flinching slightly at the sound of her name she turned to face the voice that had spoken, "G-good morning Hokage-sama," she said in a rather small voice while fiddling nervously with her now blood encrusted yakuta.

"Your father and I were just discussing-"but Hiashi cut him off.

"Hokage-sama with all due respect I believe we can explain the vast majority of this later. Hinata is already going to be late for the academy and she still needs to get changed and cleaned up not to mention if Naruto is going to be with her he will need to wash as well."

This last statement that Naruto would be accompanying her to the academy thoroughly confused the poor girl, "Um otou-san what-"

"I'll explain more on the way, could you please wake Naruto so that we may depart."

Still slightly confuse Hinata turned to face the still sleeping "pillow." Reaching out hesitantly she placed her hand on his shoulder and gently shook it.

"N-Naruto-kun w-wake up we need to go," she cooed.

Lifting his head Naruto gave Hinata a sleepy glare.

"Come along you two," Hiashi said striding toward the door.

Standing up Hinata watched as Naruto stretched arching his back and flexing his clawed hands then looked at her expectantly as if to say "lead the way."

As they left the third couldn't help but smile slightly, how ironic that in losing everything Naruto had gained infinitely more.

Roughly thirty minutes and one explanation filled walk later Hinata, her father and Naruto walked through the main gate of the Hyuuga manor where they were greeted by a branch member who had been standing guard.

"Welcome…" hesitating slightly as his gaze fell on blood crusted Hinata, "back?"

"Hinata, take Naruto and get ready for school I need to address the elders and the rest of the family," spoke Hiashi, then as Hinata with Naruto in tow moved off toward the house he turned back toward the branch member, "Gather everyone present in the courtyard tell them I will address them once I have informed the elders," he ordered. Then, not waiting for a response, he walked off to tell a certain group of uptight geezers that their family now "owned" very unique pet.

* * *

Elsewhere in the vast Hyuuga compound Hinata now sat in the girls side of the family bath house behind a VERY soapy Naruto attempting to wash the dirt and blood out of his tangled hair and fur as her nine year old mind digested her father's words.

"We're going to need to trim your hair when we get home tonight," she said as she ran a comb through his now overgrown mane then she froze as the full extent of what her father had told her finally sank in. '_Naruto-kun is coming to live with us…Naruto-kun sleeping in my room… Naruto-kun is staying with me wherever I go…Naruto-kun is crouched in front of me completely naked…_' and with that Hinata turned the color of a steamed lobster before promptly crumpling to the ground.

Several minutes later Hinata awoke to find Naruto gently nudging her with his forehead a look of mild concern plastered quite comically across his now demonic features forcing Hinata back to the ground as she was set upon by an uncontrollable giggle fit. This thoroughly confuse the poor fox boy and it showed, as his eyebrow rose and his features twisted into his former self's patented "I'm lost" look. Unfortunately (for Naruto that is) this served only to further entertain the young heiress whose stomach redoubled its efforts to suffocate her.

It was at this point that a somewhat groggy Hanabi entered the family bathhouse for her usual morning wash before she and Hinata had to be at the Academy.

"Morning aneki," she said in a sleepy voice as she turned on the water to wet herself down. Then as she began rubbing shampoo into her long dark blue hair she paused turning slowly to look at her older sister.

'_Hm… something's different,_' she thought as her mind fought through the haze of sleep still clouding her thought process. '_Why is she being so loud. It's like seven in the morning, wait she's smiling to. She hasn't done that, at least not like that, since that blond baka went over the edge…_' now staring at her sister with a comically thoughtful expression she concluded that to ensure that she didn't ruin her sister's mood she would just leave her to it and then returned to her grouchy ranting. '_N__o one in this dysfunctional family understands that kids have a hard enough time getting to sleep without them yelling and running around with lanterns in the middle of the fucking…_' and with that and a rather long yawn Hanabi turned back toward her shower as she continued shampooing her hair.

As Hanabi remained blissfully oblivious to the third occupant and source of her sister's mirth Hinata finally managed to calm herself enough to get back onto her stool and continue her thus far futile attempt to tame Naruto's hair.

"G-good m-morning Nee-chan," she finally answered still half laughing.

Hanabi, who had not slept well by any stretch of the imagination, dumped a bucket of water over her soapy head before giving her somewhat rude reply, "How do you know what kind of god damn day it is," she said glaring over her shoulder at Hinata's angeringly understanding face.

"That bad huh," she asked. She knew what her sister was talking about, the poor girl was a born ninja in almost every way shape and form, which included being a VERY light sleeper.

"Yes, the guards woke me up when they came to check on me, then after that I couldn't get back to sleep 'cause they were making a bunch of noise and running around with lanterns…"

By this point Hinata was feeling thoroughly guilty.

'_Maybe I don't have to tell her,_' she thought, '_it's entirely possible that there was some other reason that the guards were yelling and running around in the middle of the night,_' she thought hopefully as she returned her attention to Hanabi.

"… I ended up having to knock myself out with one of the pressure points in my neck," she finished.

"…"

Luckily for Hinata her sister was once again going about her morning ritual and didn't notice the guilty look on her face, that is until she caved.

"Sorry imouto it's probably my fault," she began as her sister froze, "I went out last night after bed and-" then she just stopped.

At this point Hanabi turned to a look of purest disbelief plastered all over her face as she stared at her elder sister. For a while that's all she did, just stared at her then.

"Hanab-?"

"ARE YOU NUTS?" she yelled evidently coming to her senses.

This threw Hinata for a loop, sure Hanabi had lost some sleep but that had happened before. That time she'd only been a little grouchy in the morning but now she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Seeing that her sister wasn't going to answer Hanabi continued her tirade, "You've been, remind me if I miss anything, getting into fights, randomly disappearing, talking back to the elders repeatedly, skipping Jyuuken training, not coming to dinner, you've been late getting home almost routinely. They're talking about putting the seal on you aneki!" though this last part was shouted at the top of her sisters lungs anyone who wasn't totally dense (like some painfully oblivious blonds I could mention) could see the pleading in her eyes.

"Well I think you got all of it," Hanabi couldn't believe what she was hearing as Hinata struck the 'thinking' pose her left hand on her elbow her right under her chin with her index finger tapping her lip, "No wait you forgot lack of courtesy."

Sweat Drop. She was joking, they were talking about one of the worst possible punishment imaginable and she was joking. Didn't she understand what that could mean, the older you got the more dangerous it was to receive the seal, not to mention she'd be less then a servant if it happened, those wedgie ridden old fossils would make sure of that.

"Hinata this is nothing to joke about if you keep this up their going to-who's that?" she said turning to where her now exponentially more alert mind registered something red at the edge of her vision and froze.

"Um Hanabi-neechan," Hinata asked tentatively, "are you o-"

"Eep," crumple.

"-k?" she finished staring down at the prone form of her little sister. '_Well I'd better get her up._'

And so it was that a bucket of exceptionally cold water found itself splashed unceremoniously onto the unsuspecting 6 year old.

SPLASH, cough, splutter, "COLD!"

Shivering Hanabi glared at her sister who was crouched in front of her, the offending bucket hanging limply in her hand staring right back.

"What's the big idea that was freaking cold!" she spat.

"Now now. Such language is unbecoming of a member of the main house," Hinata scolded jokingly while waging her finger at her sister.

Just as Hanabi was about to launch the greatest barrage of the most scathing, hurtful, and uncalled for remarks that had ever grace her lips sheremembered why she had passed out to begin with.

Turning her head to look past Hinata, Hanabi found a pair of slitted red eyes staring back at her.

Following her sister's gaze Hinata understood, "Oh yeah, Naruto's coming to live with us."

"Explain," was all the poor girl could manage.

So Hinata launched into how, the precious night, she had snuck out to go see Naruto again, which was new to Hanabi seeing as the last few times Hinata had snuck out no one had caught her, and what she had come across. It was at this point Hanabi threw a look of purest fear at the young container.

He was playing with his tail.

"Are you sure he was killing them?" she asked not quite able to reconcile the cute scene before her and the gruesome scene that her sister was describing. It was like being told that some fluffy white bunny rabbit could slaughter a group of those 'knight' guys they always read about.

"Why do you think I'm giving him a bath?"

"And he's coming to live with us?"

"In my room," Hinata clarified.

"And you're ok with having the most dangerous being currently in existence sleeping with you?"

"Well he'll be in a 'doggy bed' on the other side of the room, so it's not like I'm sleeping with him."

"…"

BANGBANGBANG

"Hanabi-sama, Hinata-sama classes start in thirty minutes."

"Thank you nii-san," Hinata called back recognizing her cousin Neji. "Naruto-kun could you come here for a moment," she said while refilling the bucket.

"Are you sure you're ok with this," Hanabi asked.

"Ok with what?" she asked dumping the bucket over Naruto.

"I don't know, maybe the nine year old powerhouse that will be sleeping in your room?" she said, sarcasm dripping from her mouth.

"Why wouldn't I? It's just Naruto-kun," she said as she began to towel herself off.

Hanabi just stared. Ever since the field trip Hinata had never been the same, she'd been more outspoken even hostile at times but this... this was insane, sure her sister had had a crush on Naruto but this was ludicrous. She was talking about having a force that even the Hokage couldn't contain sleeping feet away for her like he was just an oversized Jack-Russel Terrier with red eyes.

Then it hit her, he _was_ just a big Jack-Russel Terrier... or maybe that was just the spray from him shaking himself dry.

'_Oh to hell with it, if that crazy old man can't handle him we're all screwed anyway,_' and with a sigh she followed her sister to go get ready when another thought hit her, '_Well this wasn't exactly what I meant when I told otou-san I wanted a puppy, but I guess it works_'

* * *

Edited: 10/24/10

**End Notes**

Aneki- elder sister

Aniki- older brother

Something that I remembered from earlier is that some of you would like to draw stuff for this story, more power to you just send me a link. ok?

Well the last chp was a bit of a disappointment both to me and many of you. I believe I said this already but that kind of conversation is not my thing. It has been brought to my attention that I don't do a lot of description, normally this wouldn't be a problem but this individual had not read the manga or seen the anime so I will do more to bring things to life for you guys.

Another thing that sort of bothered me was the lack of reviews, seriously guys I need feedback. If you're having trouble writing stuff try opening the review page and write comments as you go that's what I do. By the way don't worry to much about my feelings with some of the crap I've put up with nothing you say is gonna upset me.

* * *

**Muse rant**

Well cross country just started for me and Delta will be leaving for City Year fairly soon so everything will be a lot slower then usual seeing as he'll be constantly busy and we don't even know if he'll have access to the internet where he's going. Basically what I'm trying to say-

**And failing miserably I might add.**

Delta shut up this is my rant so-

**Which I give you in MY story on MY account so _I_ see no reason why _I_ can't cut in.**

Damn your logic, but as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted-

**Dude you do realize this is written down, technically it's all one piece so I haven't interrupted you at all I just added a little.**

AGAIN WITH THE LOGIC! Moving on, what I was trying to say was that it may be a very long while till the next chp gets up so don't hold it against us.

**That's right just direct all of your displeasure at Muse for not bugging me enough.**

You're gonna be the death of me.

**Correction at some point my intelligence will become too much for you to handle, following this you will commit suicide in a futile attempt to escape me prompting me and a select few of our friends to slit our wrists to come after you. Once in the afterlife we will proceed to beat you to an ethereal pulp and drag your sorry ass back as the EMTs miraculously revive a group of clinically dead teenagers.**

I hate you.

**Join the club they've got jackets, now if you'll excuse me ***starts doing hand seals…*** Tatsu, Tora, Mi, Saru, Tori Bye-Bye.** *flickers out of sight*

...I hate it when he does that. Until next time.


	7. Back to School

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, and rabid fangirls

* * *

**A/N**

Alright first things first, you had questions so you get answers.

There will be lemons later, as well as other assorted citrus.

Naruto will not have a rival, he's the strongest and he knows it what would be the point(that is not to say that others won't attempt to compete with him), most situations will arise when he perceives a threat posed to someone around him.

**VERY IMPORTANT(READ OR DIE):** after this chp I will be going back to make revisions, corrections, etc on the other chps, so if you found anything that needed to be changed, was wrong, misspelled, confusing, vague or stupid pls tell me so I can fix it.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Back to School**

"Did you hear what happened?" came Ino's voice.

_'Oh great they're at it again, where's Shino,' _thought a grouchy Sasuke as he began scanning the room for the bug tamer. _'Yesterday Ino got a new bow, last week Hinata chewed out Mikari-sensei, the week before that blah blah blah, it never ends, it's like a nightmare and I can't wake up!'_ Unfortunately for our raven haired genius he'd failed to exercise two of the most basic and important rules of being a ninja.

Ninja rule 52: all information no matter how menial is a precious commodity.

Ninja rule 63: never assume that present events will follow past examples.

"I heard something happened with Naruto last night," Sakura said over her shoulder as she entered the class. "Then I checked his cage this morning and guess what?" Today she wore her bubblegum pink hair in a loose ponytail that ran down just past her shoulders, she had opted for a slightly warmer outfit, due to the cooling weather, a red long sleeve shirt with her family crest on the back and a pair of black pants.

"What?" asked Ino her voice dripping with curiousity as she came through the door behind her friend wearing a similar outfit although more form fitting and purple.

"He's not there," she said in a sulky voice a cloud of depression forming around her head as they took their seats in the row in front of Sasuke.

At this point Sasuke, who had managed to tune out the majority of the conversation and consequently had no idea what they were talking about, but was unsuccessful in his endeavor to ignore their existence took it upon himself to tell the girls very politely to…

"Will you two shut up, you're giving me a migraine."

"But Sasuke-ku-," but Ino didn't finish as a giant Dictionary blew past her ear catching the side of Sasuke's head knocking him off his chair.

"Next time you feel the need to speak just do us all a favor and CAN IT!" spat a rather irate Sakura as she marched around the desk to retrieve her book, giving Sasuke one last glare she plopped down in her seat (evidently she'd gotten over her depression at Naruto's disappearance).

Grumbling to himself Sasuke climbed back into his seat, it had been like this ever since the class "field trip." For reasons that he could not fathom Sakura had gone from wanting to bear his children to hating his guts. (he he he it's not his fault that he just happens to say the wrong thing at the wrong time)

**"SHANARO!** **And stay down you insensitive JERK!"** voiced her inner persona.

_'Oh, well at least now she leaves me alone unless I piss her off,' _he thought. Pulling out his mp3 player he set the volume as high as it would go in an attempt to drown out their voices. Pressing the play button he was greeted by the very disturbing lyrics of "Look Who's Back,"_ 'Where in all the hells did you find this stuff Itachi? I know you did a lot of traveling but seriously...'_

All things considered it was a rather uneventful morning at the ninja academy, the gossips were gossiping, Sasuke was brooding, Choji was snacking, Shikamaru was sleeping, and the like. There was only one thing missing, or rather two students were uncharacteristically tardy. This fact went largely unnoticed by the rest of the class until a dark haired girl came half-way through the door before turning and calling to someone behind her, evidently trying to coax them into the room.

Sakura found it rather odd that Hinata was having to persuade her younger sister to come to class but as she opened her mouth to ask previously stated six year old prodigy brushed past her sister into the room. Now she was even more curious as to who Hinata was talking to, however, once again her question was answered before she had voiced it and had her skeletal structure allowed her jaw would have relocated to the floor.

Ino, who had been jabbering away all this time about nothing of any real significance, stopped talking to follow her friend's gaze and promptly acquired a similar expression.

Normally ending a conversation is nothing to pay attention to, however, when Yamanaka Ino fell silent without whining it meant one of two things: it was the apocalypse or something VERY interesting was happening. Like a set of very long tails that was following Hinata across the room for instance.

For some reason the rest of the class also found this rather interesting seeing as they had all stopped what they were doing to stare. Amidst the deafening silence Hinata, and the disembodied tails, made their way up the aisle to the second row. Once there Hinata sat in the aisle seat next to Hanabi while Naruto chose a comfy patch of floor halfway in the aisle to Hinata's right to curl up his tails resting on the floor behind the two Hyuugas.

"ALRIGHT SHUT UP AND-huh?" called a voice from the door causing everyone to jump smashing their knees into the underside of their desks, then turn to see their teacher standing in the door in his usual black combats and chunnin vest.. "Ok... well since you're already quiet we'll begin," said a rather amused Iruka as he strode to the front of the room.

(Cue class wide stare of "ARE YOU NUTS!")

"As I'm sure many of you have noticed Naruto is back-"

"No shit," muttered Sasuke

WACK

"Sakura," Iruka began as he pinched the bridge of his nose, it was going to be a long day, "How many times have I told you not to hit people,"(Sasuke), "with your books?"

"One thousand two hundred and three," she recited while striking a thinking pose.

"Smart ass," muttered the teacher as he glared at Sakura.

"Better then a dumb ass," piped the pink haired encyclopedia.

"Moving on! Naruto will be with us until further notice, any questions?" As he had expected almost everyone had at least one hand up, that didn't mean he had to like it. "Yes Atoli?"

For the most part everyone wanted to know what had lead to Naruto's rather abrupt return. The more observant however were wondering one of two things...

"Sensei are you sure it's safe?" asked random student 42.

"As long as you don't do anything to provoke him you should be fine," replied Iruka.

...or...

"Why is he following Hinata around?" asked Kiba.

"Ah, I was wondering when we'd get to that," said Iruka, "from what I've been told Naruto retained an impression of his former self when he-"

"Wait, then shouldn't he be following Sakura around," interrupted the confused dog boy.

"Well if you will allow me to finish," Iruka paused as if waiting for permission.

Blushing slightly Kiba said nothing.

"OK, where was I... oh right. Well the belief is that he kept an impression of himself from before the incident. It's only a theory at the moment but it would seem that he still functions with the same basic personality and remembers," he paused trying to think of the right word to use, "I guess the best way to say it is that he remembers that which was hostile, dangerous or unfamiliar and that which was not."

"So in other words he latched on the Hinata because she never did anything mean to him?" Sakura translated, Iruka nodded, "And he attacked the villagers because he knew they wanted to hurt him?"

"No," then seeing the confused looks he was getting he continued, "Again we are only guessing but it is believed that he attacked to defend one of the guards that was watching his cage," again confused looks, "Naruto didn't attack in self defense, according to the report made by the guard on duty he reacted when someone threw a brick at her moving first to stop the brick then attack."

This seemed to satisfy their curiosity, though many had somewhat apprehensive looks no doubt remembering teasing or something else they had done to the blond and wondering if he would consider them a threat and kill them. They needn't have worried, none of them were strong enough for him to really care.

"Alright, enough of that," said Iruka, "On to the lesson, today we're working on hand signs, who can tell me the 12 basic hand signs..." he trailed off looking for a volunteer. To no one's surprise Sasuke and Sakura both put their hands up, "Does anyone else know them," asked Iruka sweeping the class scowling when he caught sight of the 'sleeping' Shikamaru, "Shikamaru?"

"..."

"Shikamaru, wake up."

"..."

"WAKE UP DAMNIT!"

* * *

Edited: 10/24/10

**End Notes**

sry it took so long I've been kid of bussy and had a really bad case of writer's block. I wanted to do more with this chp but it was taking so long that I decided to cut it short so that I got something out for you guys to read. If I have time later I may add more but that's not high on the to do list.

* * *

**Muse Rant**

**This is a rant by the Muse the views expressed and claims made do not necessarily represent those of the author.**

WTF HOW THE FUCK IS LEE WINNING(the poll that has since been removed), what is wrong with you people he's cool but he has more issues then Delta.

**You have five seconds.**

Huh? What are you talking about

**Three seconds, I suggest you run, Two seconds**

Huh...uh-oh

**YOINK**

The muse then suffered the death of a thousand cuts in an alcohol bath after which Delta slit his wrist and retrieved him from the afterlife so he could do it again.


	8. Making the Cut

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi/Summon/Inner Sakura talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

(Blah Blah) author comment

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, and puns.

* * *

**A/N**

Ok by popular demand and frequent bitching (you know who you are) I managed to hurry this one up a little and so help me if you people whine at me that this chp is too short I will hunt you down and use you for target practice (I didn't write this much for a semester long research paper so feel priviledged)

Alright now we get down to the juicy parts, I had considered drawing out the time between Naruto's return to the academy and the graduation, but I decided I could show all relevant events in flashbacks, that and it gives me more flexibility overall.

Now to make one thing very clear, the color of Naruto's hair and fur is a rust color, so a very red shade of tan

* * *

**Chp 8: Making the Cut**

It was early morning in the Hidden Leaf as the village slowly came to life. Shops opened their doors as the usual early risers bustled about in an attempt to beat the early morning rush. Half-awake gennin teams gathered and headed toward the Hokage tower to receive the day's mission assignments. Anyone seeing this scene would see nothing out of the ordinary, in fact there was nothing out of the ordinary, everything was exactly as it should be… it was just graduation day at the academy.

It's on this particular morning that we find one Hyuuga Hinata slowly waking to meet the new day, and a bucket of water.

"Eep, cold!" yelped the now soaked Hyuuga heiress as she was unceremoniously wrenched from her personal wonderland.

"Morning Aneki!" chirped a grinning Hanabi as she exited the room intent on making herself scarce.

"Some guard dog you are," Hinata said giving a pointed glare to the room's other occupant, a young boy around her age curled up on a futon across the room whose most defining features were a pair of redish fox ears sticking out of his redish hair and a set of nine bushy tails of a similar color resting behind him.

Shrugging the fox boy answered, "Chibi say was shower."

"Naruto, since when do I shower in here?" she asked rolling her eyes in frustration. Damn that sister of her's, she loved her to death but why did she have to be the only one that knew how to get around Naruto? Seriously, where a squad of ANBU couldn't make it through the door to deliver a message the now nine year old Hanabi could prank her at will, it was enough to drive her homicidal, or at least it had on several occasions.

Shrugging again, Naruto hopped off his futon onto all fours arching to stretch his back, flexed his clawed hands and then proceeded to pad his way out her door and down the hall.

Getting up Hinata collected her bath kit and followed. It was like this every morning, Naruto was up first he'd wait for her to get up then they went through their morning routine.

_'Well except for that one time when Anko-san made us breakfast,' _thought Hinata giggling to herself at the memory of how nearly three years before the older woman had made the mistake of giving Naruto a piece of bacon, _'He wouldn't leave her alone for a week.' _

Reaching her destination Hinata found Naruto waiting patiently in front of the bath house. Opening the door she waited for him to sweep past her before fallowing him in.

Pausing to help Naruto undo the tie in the back of his dogi pants, she stripped off her soaked pjs, grabbed her kit and stepped under one of the many showers Naruto obediently sitting in front of her like he had every morning for the past three years.

As Hinata cleaned herself and Naruto off she let her mind wander. So much had happened since Naruto had come to live with her. A few days after his arrival Anko had stopped by to see how Naruto was doing, during that visit and those that followed Anko had taken a liking to the Hyuuga sisters, especially Hanabi. Hinata still blamed the woman for taking her sister over to the dark side.

True to her name Hanabi had become a little firecracker, she not only had a short fuse but she had become the near antithesis of stereotypical Hyuuga behavior. The only time she acted like a Hyuuga was when she was pissed, not just angry but _pissed_. If her face went blank and her voice cold someone had crossed a line and was about to get... well we're not going to go there.

The biggest change had been in the other students at the academy, once they had gotten over the shock of having him in class again it didn't take long for them to figure out that they had nothing to fear as long as they didn't do anything overly stupid. On several occasions Hinata had even heard one of her classmates chewing out their parents for the way they had talked about him before, he may have been dangerous but he was a hero as far as they were concerned. Naruto even had an official, ORGANIZED, fan club; they even had shirts (Founded by one Yamanaka Ino after her mother told her she was to have nothing to do with Naruto).

Closing her eyes Hinata dumped a bucket of water over her head to rinse off the suds, she had already finished scrubbing and rinsing Naruto who had moved out to where they had gotten undressed and was waiting patiently for her to finish. Drying her indigo blue hair Hinata collected her things before wrapping a towel around her middle and opening the door.

Walking behind Naruto back to her room Hinata couldn't help but smile, he had come so far since his accident. He still had a very long way to go... but still. Between what she had been able to teach him and what he had picked up on his own he could get his point across, but he understood the majority of what people said. He never really started walking again, he seemed to prefer all fours, and it showed.

'_Now if only he didn't act like my pet,'_ thought Hinata.

It had gotten rather frustrating over the past year or so having the object of her affection sleeping in her room. She knew it wouldn't be right to do anything until he was back to…well as normal as he was going to get, that and she wasn't sure if it would be considered rape due to his condition.

Getting back to her room Hinata threw on a pair of black pants and one of the tight fitting purple shirts that she always wore. By this time Naruto had selected which out of his many identical pairs of pants he wanted to wear and only needed Hinata to tie the back around his tails and he'd be ready to go. After that Hinata put on her tabi and black ankle wraps that secured her pant bottoms. Finally after securing her kunai and shuriken pouches along with her other various tools she grabbed her vest (basically the same as her jacket only no fuzzy edging) and swept out of her room Naruto on her heels.

* * *

About twenty minutes later found Hinata, Hanabi and Naruto on their way to the academy after a quick breakfast and Hinata promising not to turn her sister into a welcome mat.

"So, Aneki, who do you think will pass?" asked Hanabi in a somewhat subdued tone.

'_So that's why she pranked me,'_ thought Hinata. Hanabi did have a tendency to act up when she was nervous, "You'll do fine. Stop worrying about it."

"But what if I screw up?" she asked. "What if I miss a hand seal or don't use enough chakra?" she was now in all out panic mode, "WHAT IF-"

SMACK

Hanabi's head whipped forward, followed by the chastising voice of her sadistic mentor.

"What have I told you about that?" chided a rather irate looking Anko.

"But-"

SMACK

"NO BUTS!" she bellowed, "That's the problem with you 'prodigies' these days, you think to much," she said now completely docile.

"Morning Anko-san," called Hinata from Hanabi's right. She had long ago become accustomed to Anko popping out of nowhere for her current antics to phase her.

"Hey Hinata."

"So, really, who do you think is gonna pass?" Hanabi asked, gingerly rubbing the back of her head where Anko had struck her.

"Well," she paused while tapping her chin in thought, "Definitely Sasuke and Sakura, if those two can't do it we're all doomed. Speaking of which she's late."

As if on cue a red and bubblegum pink blur came streaking around the corner followed closely by a purple and yellow blur.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK BILLBOARD BROW!" shrieked Ino as she attempted to maim her pink haired friend.

"Make me PIGGY!" retorted Sakura while deftly bouncing out of her friend's reach before they were both lifted bodily from the ground by a set of bushy tails. "Oh, morning Naruto."

"Damn shrieking flowers," said fox boy who currently had his hands clamped over his sensitive ears as he held the two girls out of eachothers' reach.

"She started it," pouted Ino pointing accusingly at Sakura.

As the group began moving toward their destination once more Anko decided it was her duty as an adult to settle the feud between the two friends.

Translation: she wanted to know what Sakura did to piss off Ino.

"So what was it this time blondie?" she inquired.

"She said Sasuke-kun was GAY!" she spat giving her nemesis a death glare.

"He is. He has shown no interest in ANY girl aside from the fact that he will need at least one to revive his clan," stated Sakura who seemed to be just enjoying the ride as she resituated the small canvas backpack that she always carried (presumably to house her seemingly endless stash of books).

"One of these days Forehead…one of these days," Ino growled

"Yes one of these days you'll admit that I'm right and stop chasing that jerk."

"Oh will you look at that we're here," said Hanabi as she made a beeline for the escape route that was the door into the academy.

* * *

The exam was fairly uneventful, a written test followed by each student getting called up (by last name Z-A, if same first name Z-A) and asked to make three bunshin to show that you could do ninjutsu. After that those who passed were given a hitai-ate and sent on their way.

Ino, who had been one of the first to be called, had hung around for two reasons. First, she and her friends, by this point she and Sakura had made nice, were planning on training after the exam like they did any day after classes let out. Second, to try and calm down Choji; the poor boy was not the brightest to begin with but now he had to wait and go last out of all his peers. (She had planned on ambushing Sasuke but had left via the window in the test room, for obvious reasons)

Munchmunchmunchmunchmunch…

"Choji…I'm telling you…stop eating so fast…or…you're going to give yourself…indigestion…" Ino said in a strained voice as she attempted to wrestle one of the boys seemingly endless bags of potato chips out of his hand, "Seriously…it's-AH!" she cried as her friend suddenly let go of the bag causing her to topple head over heels.

"Are you alright," heard the dazed Yamanaka. Glancing up she saw a somewhat concerned Hinata looking down at her, but there was something…off.

_'Since when has Hinata worn a metal choker?' _thought Ino still not fully recovered from her tumble, then doing a double take, _'…waaait…shiny, Konoha leaf…that's…'_

"YOU PASSED," she squealed as she pounced on her friend knocking her to the ground. It was quite a good thing that Kiba had passed and gone home already otherwise his…comments… would have sent poor Hinata into a blush induced shock. It was entirely true that she had become far less shy but she was still easily embarrassed and tended to revert to old habits when especially uncomfortable.

"Piggy, you might want to get off now," came Sakura's voice.

"Why?" she asked still nuzzling her friend.

"One, I don't think Hiashi-san will appreciate you suffocating his daughter," she stated holding up her index finger for emphasis, "and two, Naruto looks like he's about to use you to paint the room."

That was all it took. In the blink of an eye Ino was off Hinata and looking for Naruto to gauge whether she was in the clear or if she should run like her life depended on it (which to some extent it did). Seeing the slightly overprotective Jinchuuriki relax Ino sighed in relief. Almost everyone had learned long ago to tread lightly where concerning the Hyuuga heiress, go too far and you would regret it. Like that time when Kiba wouldn't stop asking Hinata out on a date.

**Flashback**

* * *

_He had cornered her on the academy drilling field during lunch._

"_Come on just one date."_

_"Sorry Kiba-kun I'm not interested," she replied for the ninth time that day, so persistent._

_"I promise I'll be a total gentleman, won't try to kiss you, hold you hand, nothing," everyone knew that all you had to do was negotiate…right?_

_"Kiba-kun, I'm not going on a date with you," she wasn't having the best day. Neji was acting up again and the Hyuuga elders were putting a lot pressure on her at the moment, class was boring, and now this._

_"Ok, no date thing, just dinner and a movie."_

_"No," this guy seriously couldn't take a hint and it was really beginning to piss her off._

_"Is it the dog thing? I can shower and leave Akamaru at home."_

'Hey I'm cleaner then you, paint face. At least I rinse every day,'_ thought Akamaru._

"_Kiba, I'm not interested in dating right now," she growled holding the bridge of her nose._

"_So that's a maybe?"_

"_KIBA I'M NOT-"_

* * *

_During this whole thing Naruto had been a few feet away watching intently. He could sense his Beta's distress, hard not to really, the scent of anger was practically rolling off her in waves. He didn't completely understand what was going on but from her body language he could tell that it was the one that smelled of dog that was the cause. Then everything changed, her eyes narrowed, her voice rose, her muscles tensed, he could smell copious amounts of adrenaline pumping through her system, something was wrong._

_In a flash of movement the rusty haired boy buried his shoulder into the Inuzuka's gut driving him away from his Beta._

_Bouncing off slightly due to the difference in mass he arched his body, using his tails for counter balance, he planted his palm on the ground and drove his heel into the solar-plexus pushing the boy off his feet into the air._

_Digging his claws into the ground he threw himself under the boy while rapping one of his tails around Kiba's right arm and pulled adding to the momentum from his previous attacks slapping the helpless boy into the ground._

* * *

**End Flashback**

Naruto had slapped Kiba on the ground several more times before Hinata had managed to calm him down enough to let Kiba go and by that point he had a dislocated shoulder, seven broken or otherwise damaged ribs, a mild concussion, a very bruised tailbone, and a slightly bleeding kidney... the poor boy pissed blood for a week.

Suffice it to say that, though Naruto had become far better at telling when his 'beta' (no one knew how he'd come by the title but most felt it fit, though it was subject to change if he ever decided she was... more) as he called Hinata was in actual danger, but everyone kept a close eye on his reactions to make sure they didn't invoke his wrath all the same.

"Yes," gasp, "I passed," said a now Ino free Hinata. A moment later they all heard a squeal of delight from behind the door leading to the test room, "I told her she'd be fine," said Hinata grinning from ear to ear as her sister exited the room sporting her shinny new forehead protector on…her forehead, how uninspired.

"I'm up," spoke Sakura in a rather bored tone as she got up and walked to the front and into the test room just as Iruka stuck his head out to call her name only to come back out roughly twenty seconds later using her Hitai-ate to tie her hair back and looking very pleased with herself.

"Ino, you and Shikamaru are staying with Choji correct?" asked Hinata as Sakura rejoined the group.

"Yeah, I'll catch up with you guys once he passes," she replied.

"Ok then, see you later," with that Hinata, her sister, Naruto, and Sakura walked out of the classroom.

* * *

As the group left the academy they turned left heading away from the center of the village toward the training grounds.

"So how'd it go yesterday?" asked Sakura directing her question to the elder of the two sisters.

Hinata didn't need to ask what Sakura meant, "Nothing has changed as far as they can tell. He did score a little higher on the memory and speech tests though," every Thursday Naruto went in to have some tests done to see if anything had changed.

The studies and checkups had started shortly after Naruto had come to live at the Hyuuga estate. They had started with simply having Hiashi look Naruto over with his Byakugan and what he found was... well it was interesting…

**Flashback **

* * *

_"So Hiashi what did you find," asked the aged Hokage._

_"I observed the boy's chakra system as you requested and it would appear rather normal for the most part, just larger. Also the seal is still present but from what I can tell it is inactive meaning, from what I understand, that it has most likely served some emergency purpose and the boy has absorbed all nine tails," stated the Hyuuga Patriarch._

_"You said his system seemed rather normal. What did you mean?"_

_For a moment Hiashi stood deep in thought then, "It's not that there is anything particularly irregular about the system; it's the flow of the chakra itself that is irregular. Normally, chakra flows continuously throughout the body and, for the most part, his does, however, for some reason the chakra flow to Naruto's head is greatly reduced and I could find no reason for it."_

_"And what of the tails?" Sarutobi had been waiting to hear about this, some of the changes in the boy's body he could write off as being simple more…primitive, but the tails just didn't seem to fit._

_"The tails are solid chakra."_

_"What?" yelped the professor._

_"The tails ar-" but Sarutobi cut him off._

_"No, I heard you, but how?" for the first time in his very long life Sarutobi was at a complete loss for an explanation._

_"I don't know. The only theory that I can come up with that seems plausible is that the tails are somehow an extension of his chakra system that formed when the seal malfunctioned, just the excess chakra taking a form that is similar to its original state."_

* * *

**End Flashback**

After that once a week Hinata took Naruto to the hospital to have him evaluated, starting with basic tests and slowly moving into the more invasive techniques as Naruto adjusted to the unfamiliar (it helped that Hinata was constantly reassuring him). That aside…

"Did he act up at all?"

"Once, when they tried to get him to drink the dye for the M.R.I.," Hinata said grinning slightly.

Sakura couldn't help but laugh, "Those idiots actually tried to get him to drink that crap? Oh that must have been great."

"You could say that," Hinata said now grinning from ear to ear.

"So what happened, did he drink it?"

"He took one sip," answered Hinata.

"AND," demanded Sakura who was now thoroughly miffed at her friend for leading her on like this.

Thinking she'd better explain before her friend lost her cool and attacked her Hinata began the story of the previous day's check up.

**Flashback**

* * *

_"Ok now that that's done we're going to try an M.R.I. today," spoke the medic nin as he lead Hinata and Naruto into a room off the hall. "He's going to need to drink this," hands a bottle of white liquid to Hinata, "within the next hour."_

_Turning to her friend and crouching down to his level Hinata unscrewed the top of the container and handed it to Naruto, "You need to drink this. Ok?" Naruto nods and brings the container to his lips before drinking some of the white substance. For a moment it seemed all was well then…_

_WREEEETCH_

_Projectile vomit all over the room_.

* * *

**End Flashback**

"I was able to get out of the way but," said Hinata as she fought to control her laughter, "the medic guy got it full in the face," she finished.

Sakura, who by this time was on the ground clutching her sides as she laughed her ass off, erupted into yet another giggle fit that threatened to suffocate her.

"BOO!"

"AHHH!" cried Sakura as she was instantly cured of her giggle fit.

"Hey Sensei."

"Ohayo Anko-san."

"Crazy snake bitch," grumbled the boy as he glared at the young woman from the branches of a nearby tree.

"Yes I love you to gaki," responded said crazy snake bitch.

"So…no missions today?" asked Sakura hopefully. She always liked when Anko helped them with their training for two reasons. First and foremost, it meant that there was someone she could ask for help (the problem with being the smartest in the class? None of the other students can help you when you're stuck). Second, well it was more…interesting when Anko was around.

"Nope," Anko pouted, "All they had were D and B missions today."

FACE VAULT

It was a well known fact amongst the girls that their unofficial sensei was a _little _eccentric but sometimes she managed to surprise even them. Though, truth be told, Anko was lying through her teeth. There were plenty of A rank missions she had just chosen to take the day off to congratulate her charges when they graduated.

'_Note to self: get a C.T. scan later. That pesky disembodied voice is back,_' thought Anko as the group made their way down the street.

* * *

"STOP…MOVING…DAMNIT!" panted Sakura as she tried to land a hit on Hinata (and failed miserably).

"Ok you two that's enough," Anko called.

"For the love of all that is holy," sighed Sakura as she collapsed under a tree, "no one should be able to bend like that, it's not fair."

For the last hour everyone had enjoyed a game of 'tag,' otherwise known as "Try and Land a Hit on Hinata" and Hinata had come out without a scratch... again.

"Pinky you too slow no way hit Beta," teased Naruto as hung possum style from the tree.

"Why you," she growled,_ 'If it weren't for the fact that you could kill me without trying you would be in a world of hurt right now._'

_**'Just cause he's right.'**_

'_Shut up you._'

"He's right though you know," said Anko.

Sakura's face fell, '_The gods hate me._'

"Being able to crush an opponent in one blow is useless if you can't hit them," Anko explained.

Grumble grumble bitch piss moan.

'_Sore loser_,' thought Ino as she smacked her friend in the back of the head.

"OW! What was that for!"

"Forehead you can't be the best at everything, so shut it. You're giving me a head ache."

"At least I'm the best at something piggy."

"YOU WANNA GO BILLBOARD BROW!"

"TRY ME BLONDIE!"

A moment later and the two friends were bouncing around the training field hell bent on killing each other while the rest of the group just sat off to the side to watch what promised to be a very interesting "spar" but it was getting dark and Hinata really didn't want to deal with another lecture when she got home.

"Come on imouto we should get home before it gets dark."

"I think I'll hang around for a little while you go ahead."

"Ok," she sighed, "but if you break curfew again tou-san is going to yell at you again," she warned before turning to leave, Naruto hot on her heels.

As they walked, Hinata thought about the next day,_ 'We get team assignments tomorrow, I wonder who I'll be with._' She'd thought about it before but this was different, before had just been a thought in passing, but now…now it was happening, and she was worried. She already knew that no matter who she was put with Naruto would be with her, that was a given, but still.

Even as she got home and prepared for bed thoughts of just how uncertain her future really was ran through her head.

"What wrong Beta?" asked Naruto as she crawled under her blanket.

Rolling over to face her roommate she glared at him, "How is it you always know when something is bothering me?" she asked. Somehow Naruto ALWAYS knew and every time he'd badger her till she caved.

"You smell funny," he stated.

'_Damn that nose of yours,_' thought as she turned back toward the wall hoping he'd let it go, but we are creatures of habit and even Naruto was no exception.

Hoping off his own futon Naruto padded across the room and onto Hinata's bed, "Beta, what wrong?"

'_So persistent._'

"Beta," he said his tone low and commanding.

Rolling to face him again, "After tomorrow everything will change and I'm not sure if I'm ready yet."

"No worries, you be fine," it wasn't much but something in the way he said it made Hinata feel like he was right.

* * *

Edited: 10/24/10

**End Notes**

FINALLY jeese this was supposed to go all the way through the bell test, but I took pity on you guys. Next time, Chp 9: Meet Team 7, this time EVERYTHING'S different, and that's all I'm telling you. :P

**Cliff Notes**

(1) For the coment about Naruto's build near the beginning. Think of doing some combination of push ups, pull ups, bear walk, etc all day every day for three yrs.

(2) Tabi- Thick split toed sock favored by real ninja

(3) Bunshin no jutsu- an illusionary clone.

(4) imouto- little sister.

(5) Tou-san dad


	9. Team 7

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, puns and butchery of the English language.

* * *

**A/N**

OK it's my fault for assuming everyone would understand the 'beta' reference. Basically beta means 'second' and when referring to a member of a pack it means the member that is second in command. Naruto trusts Hinata beyond all others so she is his second.

Also yes I know Hanabi was 5 years younger then Hinata in the actual story but this is FanFiction, anything goes. (and trust me I mean ANYTHING)

On another note, stop whining about how often I update. I update when I finish the chp to my satisfaction and frankly I don't take that long, on some stories that I read I've been waiting 3+ months and that's if the story isn't discontinued(and yes I know I took a long ass time with this chp).

Some of you wanted some 'action' but that's not coming(no pun intended) for a long time so I took pity on you and put a bonus on adult fan fiction check my profile for the link

EDIT: my acount on AFF is no longer being used but no worries I will be posting the lemon as an Omake

* * *

**Chp 9: Team 7**

It was early morning and everyone was waiting for Iruka-sensei to show up. Ino had taken her usual seat (right next to Sasuke) and was talking animatedly with Sakura and Hanabi while Hinata sat on the floor absent mindedly stroking Naruto's tails as she allowed her mind to wander. Then the door opened…

"SIT DOWN SHUT UP!" instantly everyone went quiet to give Iruka their undivided attention, "Ok, after today you will all be full fledged shinobi, which means..." and Iruka proceeded to recite the shinobi code as well as the responsibilities that they would now have. They weren't "children" anymore; they were trained soldiers that happened to look rather young. "Lastly, you will all be split up into three man cells commanded by a Jounin sensei. Understand?" he explained pausing to see that everyone understood, "Good, now cell one will be…"

_'I get stuck with a team? This. Sucks,' _thought Sasuke as Iruka began listing names.

_'How troublesome,' _thought Shikamaru.

_'I wonder who's team Sasuke-kun is on?'_ this was about a third of the class.

_'Where did I put those chips?' _guess who.

"Team Seven will be: Hyuuga Hinata…"

Hinata, at the sound of her name, perked up.

"…Uchiha Sasuke…"

'_Ok maybe this won't be so bad,' _thought Sasuke hopefully, _'at least Hinata can fight.'_

"…and Haruno Sakura."

'_I jinxed it,' _thought Sasuke as he was taken by the overpowering urge to beat his head against the desk.

Sasuke wasn't the only one that was "displeased" with the team, put more accurately Sakura was livid.

"IRUKA SENSEI I DEMAND A RECOUNT!" she screamed standing up so quickly that she knocked her chair over. "**I AM NOT GONNA BE ON A TEAM WITH THAT BASTARD SHANNARO!"**

"Sorry Sakura but each team was carefully put together to change one team would unbalance the others," he explained, "Now Team Eight will be Hyuuga Hanabi, Inuzuka Kiba, and Aburame Shino…"

'_Why me?'_ thought Hanabi smacking her face against her desk. What kitten kicking ax murderer had she been in a past life to warrant this.

"Ha ha," teased Ino in a sing song voice as she stuck her tongue out at her friend, "You got stuck with the horny mutt and the creepy one."

With her head still on the desk Hanabi turned to glare at Ino, "You're just PMSing cause Sasuke isn't on your team," Ino was about to give the little genius a rather large piece of her mind when.

"…and Team Ten will be: Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, and Akamichi Chouji."

'_The lazy bum and the fat ass,'_ thought Ino her face as white as a sheet. She loved her friends dearly but being on a team with them? That was a whole different ball of wax.

"Karma's a bitch ain't it," said Hanabi a sadistic grin stretching across her face.

* * *

As the members of Team 7 waited for their Jounin sensei to arrive Hinata was once more contently sitting with her back against one of the desks as she ran her hands through Naruto's reddish fur, Sakura had pulled out a copy of "The Shinobi Clan Wars" and seemed to be doing everything she could to ignore Sasuke's existence (which suited him just fine), and Sasuke was…well not doing much of anything.

Lunch had been fairly uneventful. After Iruka had released them saying that their senseis would be coming to collect them after the break everyone had wondered off to eat by themselves (Sasuke), in a group (fangirls ogling Sasuke), or with friends then come back to the room to await the arrival of the Jounins.

That was three hours ago.

_'Soooo bored,'_ unlike his teammates Sasuke had nothing to do and listening to music only does so much. _'Where the hell is our sensei?' _For awhile longer Sasuke simply thought in a loop of 'where is sensei,' 'bored,' and 'need something to do' until finally it came to him.

"Ne Sakura can I borrow something to read?" he asked.

"What'cha want?" she asked as she opened her bag in hopes that if she gave him what he wanted quickly he might leave her alone, "I got text books, encyclopedias, an unabridged dictionary of the English language, a few romance novels, my manga collection, the Ninja Almanac, Shuriken for Dummies, The History of Konoha Gold edition…" she listed digging through the average looking school bag.

"…" silence.

"Oi what do you-" Sakura said turning around to face her teammate to find him gawking at her. "Whaaat?" she asked.

"You're carrying ALL of those?"

"Yeaaah," she drawled unsure of what he was getting at, **"OF COURSE I'M "Carrying all of those" BAKA WHY ELSE WOULD I LIST THEM!"** ranted Inner Sakura.

Sasuke couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could anyone, let alone a prepubescent, scrawny, bookworm like Sakura, carry that much weight and then there was the question of 'where she kept them,' cause there was no way she fit a library in that little thing…right?

"How is that possible?"

"How is what possible?" countered Sakura. Honestly the boy was making no sense, _'First he asks for something to read...'_

**"Very uncharacteristic." **

_'...then he asks if I'm actually carrying the books I give him to choose from...'_

**"Rather suspicious."**

_'...now he asks is "that" possible.'_

**"Hmmmmm…"**

_'You thinking what I'm thinking?'_

**"KILL THE IMPOSTER SHANNARO!"**

Sensing the danger Sasuke ducked just in time to get out of the path of a flying Encyclopedia Britannica which then sailed across the room to bury itself in the face of the unsuspecting Jounin who had just walked through the door.

Silence…

"My first impression…I hate you," spoke the silver haired Jounin in a "too sweet to be good" voice that clearly telegraphed his irritation. "Follow me."

* * *

_**Five minutes later on the roof of the Academy**_

Their sensei was now leaning casually against the railing facing his students who were sitting on the stone steps about three feet away, "Let's see, why don't you introduce yourselves."

"Ok, what do you want us to say?" asked Sakura.

"Your name, age, likes, dislikes, dreams for the future, something like that."

"Ano, sensei could you go first just so we have something to go on?" requested Hinata.

"I guess I could," he mused, "Ok, my name is Hatake Kakashi, my age doesn't matter, I have no intention of telling you my likes or dislikes, as for goals and dreams…" he paused as if in thought, "I have lots of hobbies."

"So basically we learned his name," said Sakura earning nods from the other two.

"Alright Pinky you go next," spoke the cycloptic Jounin pointing to Sakura to further verify what he meant.

Ignoring the slight on her hair color, "My name is Haruno Sakura. I'm twelve and a half years old next week. I like: reading, learning, training and hanging out with my friends, and teasing Hinata's little sister. I dislike…" glares at the boy to her left, "my dream is to become one of the greatest kunoichi in the village."

_'Ok, so a badass bookworm with a grudge.'_ "Next," he said.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke, I'm twelve not that it matters. I don't like much, though I dislike quite a few things. My dreams, well they aren't really dreams or rather ambitions, are the death of a man I've sworn to kill and the revival of my clan."

_'Saw that coming.' _"And you," he said turning to Hinata.

"My name is Hyuuga Hinata, I just turned twelve a few months ago. I like: training, being with my friends, and helping others. I dislike bullies and people who judge others before getting to know them," this last statement peaked Kakashi's interest (though he didn't show it), "and my dream is to help Naruto recover."

Raising his eyebrow ever so slightly at the statement Kakashi thought, _'Well this should be interesting,' _before saying, "Alright now that that's out of the way meet me at training field 7 tomorrow morning at 6 for your final exam and don't bother with breakfast you'll just chuck," he said turning to leave but noticed Sakura had her hand up, "Yes?"

"I thought we already had the final exam at the academy, what's this one for?"

**"YEAH WHAT THE HELL!"**

"The test you took at the academy was to determine if you _could_ be a ninja, my test is to see whether or not you're _ready_ to be a ninja," emphasizing the difference.

* * *

_**9:00 a.m. Training field 7**_

Konoha was famous for many things, among them it's status as the greatest of all the hidden villages, the number of exceptional ninja it turned out, and it's training areas. Very few knew how many there actually were, many were secret grounds reserved for only the most elite, but that aside, training field 7 was your standard wood with assorted training equipment, nothing special

It is within this area some 3 hours after the appointed meeting time that Kakashi actually showed up.

"Yo," said Kakashi as he poofed into existence.

"YOU'RE LATE!" bellowed Sakura.

"Sorry you see a black cat crossed my path and I had to-"

"LIAR!"

Pulling out a alarm clock and setting it on a nearby post Kakashi sighed, _'They just don't make em as gullible as they used to, but I guess in this profession that's a good thing,'_ he thought before explaining the exercise, "Get a bell before noon and you pass, don't and you go back to the academy it's that simple," he said dangling two bells in front of them.

"But sensei there's only two bells," said Sakura obviously confused. If they were supposed to get a bell to pass shouldn't there be a bell for each of them to get.

"My test my rules pinky," said the Jounin as he tied the bells to his belt, "remember you'll need to come at me with the intent to kill otherwise you don't have a snowflake's chance in hell of getting a bell," then noticing Hinata had her hand up, "Yes?"

"Are you sure we should be trying to kill you?" she asked tentatively then to clarify, "I know you're a Jounin but couldn't you still get hurt."

"I highly doubt you'll be able to do me any _serious_ harm," he spoke, "Now if there are no further questions..." pausing to be sure that there were in fact now questions, "...you may begin."

Years later Kakashi would, while retelling the story to his wife and three kids, look back and realize that that may not have been the best course of action given the situation.

"Naruto sic'm."

Two oh so simple words spoken in complete calm that made Kakashi realize something, there actually was something worse then Anko finding his book.

_'Shit! SHIT! **SHIT!**'_ thought the previously overconfident Jounin as he proceeded to bounce around like a toddler that got hold of an energy drink in his attempts to evade the young jinchuuriki, "HINATA CALL HIM OFF!"

After several minutes, Kakashi explaining that the point of the exercise was to test _their_ capabilities not Naruto's (he knew damn well that he didn't want to know the full extent of Naruto's capabilities(at least not while they were directed at him) and Hinata sending Naruto home, they were off to a fresh start.

"Ok whenever you're ready you may begin," with that all three gennin hopefuls disappeared from sight. _'Ok they're all well hidden let's see if they figure out the real point of the exercise.'_

* * *

Dashing through the forest toward her destination Hinata couldn't help be confused, _'Something's off about this,' _she mused. _'W__e're fresh from the academy sure we were the top three in the class but he's a Jounin, how are we supposed to touch him let alone overpower him? He said we had till noon to get a bell that's simple enough but if that was all there was to it shouldn't there be three bells and what was the point of us not having breakfast?'_ Still baffled by the odd exercise Hinata moved further into the woods.

* * *

_**Meanwhile**_

Sakura was creeping through the bushes in an attempt to circle around the seemingly oblivious Jounin_, 'Sheesh some Jounin, he's reading during a battle. Oh well that mistake let me get all the way behind him,' _oddly enough Inner Sakura was silent almost thoughtful as Sakura crept from her hiding place toward the unsuspecting Jounin. _'Just a little closer…'_ she thought as she reached for one of the bells.

YOINK! THUD…tumble tumble tumble thwump.

'_Ok so maybe he's not as stupid as I thought,' _mused Sakura as she glared at her upside down sensei,

"**No you're the one that's upside down," **Inner Sakura pointed out.

'_Oh shut up,'_growled Sakura.

"**HEY I'M NOT THE ONE THAT GOT US TOSSED INTO A TREE, SHANNARO!"**

'_Yes, but you didn't do anything to prevent it either,' _she answered.

**"…"**

'_That's what I thought.'_

"**No look at the book…"** said Inner Sakura a look of complete horror on her face.

'_Huh?'_ then taking a closer look at the little orange book_, 'OH HELL NO!'_

"What's wrong Pinky?" asked Kakashi not even looking up as he turned the page, "break a nail?"

"**THE"**

'_PERVERT'_

"**MUST"**

'_DIE!' _

And with that cerebral combat call the crusade to castrate Kakashi commenced.

(Try saying that five times fast)

Rushing forward Sakura drew back her fist before attempting to drive it into Kakashi's face only to have it blocked, though it still sent the surprised Jounin back a good couple of meters.

'_Note to self do NOT get hit by Pinky,' _thought Kakashi as he ducked out of the way of a follow up ax kick aimed at his head, _'it could prove hazardous to my health,' _he finished as said ax kick created a small crater at the point of impact.

"STAND STILL SHANNARO!"

"Lesson 1," drawled Kakashi as dodged Sakura's attempts to maim him all the while not taking his eyes off his book, "the strength of an attack is moot if you can't hit your target."

Growling in frustration a now thoroughly pissed off Sakura once again went to punch the silver haired Jounin only to connect with thin air, _'Where'd he go!' _then feeling someone behind her she glanced over her shoulder.

"Funny fact…" said Kakashi, a little too nicely.

"**Yep we're screwed,"** spoke inner Sakura nodding sagely.

"A definition of insanity is repeating the same action expecting a different result," he finished as he took a step closer never looking up from his book.

"**ARE YOU CALLING ME CRAZY?"**

'_Said the voice in my head.'_

_**2.14 seconds later**_

"DAMNIT LET ME GO YOU PERVERT!"

Calmly crouched in front of the now hogtied Sakura as though he hadn't heard a word Kakashi spoke, "Lesson 2: Never let an enemy gain your back."

**"HIPOCRITE!"**

_'He's still right though.'_

**"Well yeah bu-WOAH-OVERKILL MUCH!"** cried a startled Inner Sakura as a hail of kunai and shuriken struck the unsuspecting Kakashi.

POOF-Kaka no pincushion turn to log

'_Kawarimi, why am I not surprised?' _she thought sarcastically. _'Oh well on the up side at least I have a way out of these damn ropes,'_ as she scooted over to the log now riddled with all manner of things sharp pointy.

* * *

_**Meanwhile**_

_'Ok, Sakura's fine,' _thought Hinata from her position on a hill a short distance away as she watched her friend start cutting away at her bonds,_ 'Now where'd he go?'_ She had lost track of their sensei when he had used the replacement to escape Sasuke's attack, _'He's probably gone after Sasuke, but, just in case,'_ forming a few hand seals, _**'Byakuugan…'**_

"Oh no…"

* * *

_**With Sasuke**_

_'Damn it he baited me,' _thought Sasuke as he barreled through the trees trying to put distance between himself and his sensei, _'Now I have to-'_

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_'Was that Hinata?' _he thought skidding to a halt as a blood curdling scream echoed in the forest.

Jingle, jingle, jingle.

_'Hm he's concerned…good,'_ thought Kakashi as he stepped from behind a tree, "**Magen: Nise no Kinen-Butsu**(1)," he spoke with the air of one commenting on the weather, "quite useful on those who fear the loss of another."

So he'd caught her with an illusion. It made sense, she had always been more of an up close type, but still what could have scared Hinata like_ that?_

_'Doesn't matter,' _slowly turning to face Kakashi, "I didn't expect Hinata to go down that easily but…" then falling into a Taijutsu stance, "I'm not like her, or Sakura for that matter."

"Say that after you have a bell," once again turning a page in his book.

A moment later and Sasuke had launched a volley of shuriken and kunai only for Kakashi leap to the side (stowing his book, just in case).

"Simple attacks like that aren't going to get you anywhere," he jabbed then seeing a flash of metal, _'Ok, either his aim really sucks or…' _

SNAP

_'…it's a trap,'_ he finished once again dodging out of the way as another set of knives flew out of a nearby bush._ 'But when did he-WHAT!' _

Suddenly Sasuke was behind him aiming a kick at his head to which Kakashi brought up his forearm, stopping the leg and grabbing it with his other hand all in the same motion. Then Sasuke threw a right hook using his captive leg for further leverage but once again Kakashi stopped him easily catching the fist. Deciding to push his advantage in free appendages Sasuke brought his free leg over and down on Kakashi's head who simply shifted his arm into its path, incidentally leaving his mid section wide open a fact which he realized as Sasuke made a grab at… air.

(it's that whole realization leading to action thing)

_'He wasn't kidding I couldn't even read Icha Icha he's better then the others, if only just, but he still has a long way to go.'_

Not saying a word Sasuke squared off with his teacher before flashing through a set of hand seals and taking a deep breath.

_'What the hell, his chakra system shouldn't be developed enough for that!'_ thought a stunned Kakashi just before Sasuke exhaled engulfing his teacher in a massive fire ball.

A moment later the smoke cleared, no Kakashi…

_'Shit where'd he go?'_ thought Sasuke as he began glancing in every direction for the smut reading Jounin, _'Not in front, right, left, behind, above, whe-'_ oof

"BELOW YOU FOOL!" cried... Hinata?

As he was pondering why his teammate had just sent him flying he noticed something, a hand sticking out of the ground? Then it hit him _'Doton!' _but that wasn't what really surprised him, what did was no sooner had Hinata landed then she proceeded to rip Kakashi from the ground like some oversized weed and hurl him into a tree.

Now by this point you can probably guess that Sasuke was justly confused... and more than a little scared. Since when had Hinata insulted anyone (other then fox haters)? Since when did she kick like a possessed mule on Redbull? Since when could she toss around a grown man like a half empty sack of potatoes? And since when did crying look so scary? Seriously the girl looked murderous.

Glancing over at the slightly dazed Kakashi it clicked…

**Flashback**

* * *

'_Was that Hinata?' he_ _thought skidding to a halt._

_Gingle, gingle, gingle._

_"__**Magen: Nise no Kinen-Butsu**__(1)," he spoke with the air of one commenting on the weather, "quite useful on those who fear the loss of another."_

* * *

**End Flashback**

Luckily (at least for Kakashi's health insurance provider) whatever plans Hinata may have had to maim him were cut short as a shrill ringing reached their ears.

"My how time flies," chirped Kakashi as he poofed away leaving a still fuming Hinata alone with rather unsettled Sasuke.

'_What the hell did he show her?'_

* * *

_**Several minutes later **_

_'Hogtied by someone reading smut or bound to a post like a rotisserie chicken I can't decide which is worse.'_

**"Why are we tied up again?"**

_'Last one to get here after the bell rang.'_

**"Again with the hypocrisy."**

They had gathered in a small clearing in the middle of grounds with 3 training post (to one of which Sakura was tied to) and a carved stone.

"Well here's the good news," spoke Kakashi, "None of you need to worry about going back to the academy."

"Really?" asked a thoroughly confused Sakura.

"Yep, instead of going back to the Academy, which would be a complete waste of time, you three should just quit being ninja all together."

"And why should we do that?" growled Hinata obviously still irked.

"You're just a bunch of brats that don't understand what it means to be a ninja, hell you couldn't even see the point of the exercise."

"And what, oh knower of all things ninja related, was to point of having gennin try to steal bells from a Jounin?" asked Hinata with sarcasm practically dripping off her lips.

"Teamwork," spoke Kakashi, "You were supposed to figure out that you needed to work together. A single gennin hasn't got a snowflakes chance in hell, but a team of ge-" _'Why is she smirking? That can't be good.'_

"So if we figured that out before time ran out we pass?"

"Yeaaaaah," said Kakashi cautiously, what was the point of asking that?

"So," said Hinata turning to the other two, "we're agreed that we would need to work as a team to get a bell?"

"Uhhh, yes?"

"Hn," translation: yes.

"Ok then according to what you just told us we pass."

…

"Say what?" asked a now completely confused Kakkashi.

"You said that if we figured that out before-"

"Noon, right but the timer already…went…off," smacking himself in the forehead, "You screwed with my clock didn't you?" he accused, glaring at Hinata.

The only response he got was a _very _smug grin from his blue haired student.

And so began Team 7.

* * *

Edited: 10/26/10

**End Notes**

Ok that took an obscenely longer then I had planned, but before you kill me I do have perfectly valid reasons.

work- 40 hours a week during the holidays and you wouldn't want to do much when you got home either

1 the Holidays themselves

2 my cousin coming to visit(hadn't seen him in years)

3 family vacation

4 getting sick(several times)

5 my personal life(yes I have one)

And then after all that I finally realized something, it's a hellava lot easier to do a "rewrite" when you actually have the original to look at.

For those of you afraid that Naruto won't be 'human' again just wait and see and as to what Kakashi showed Hinata I'm not telling you what it was just know that it will play a role later on.

Just so you know I'm going to be finishing the next chp of WtH before I get to the next NOTNT but that shouldn't be long.

* * *

**Muse Rant**

Muse is on an extended leave of absence due to personal issues.

* * *

**Cliff notes**

(1) **Magen: nise no kinen-butsu** Demonic illusion: false memorial – the victim is forced to watch someone die, usually in a gruesome or disturbing manner.


	10. The Mission to Wave

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, puns, butchery of the English language, and funny hats.

* * *

**A/N**

WIKIPEDIA IS THE SHIT!! I've been having a hard time finding research material and though it didn't give me everything I needed it gave me most of of it and a lot that I wasn't looking for but that was useful anyway.

* * *

**Chp 10: The Mission to Wave **

_**Early morning in Hi no Kuni Kakashi stands alone talking into a radio**_

"Sakura what's your status?" he asks.

"Sasuke and I are in position south of the target," came Sakura's voice.

"Good, Hinata what's your status?"

"Bored," she replied.

"In regards to the mission," he corrected.

"Sitting in a tree 50 meters north of the target awaiting further orders."

"And Naruto?"

"Just waiting for me to say go."

"Ok Sasuke Sakura, get ready, Hinata set him loose."

* * *

_**With Sasuke and Sakura**_

"Remember chase him that way," no sooner had they heard that over the radio then the sound of something darting through the woods reached their ears, "Sasuke he's coming up on your position."

After taking a brief peek to locate the target_, '3…2…1,'_ GRAB! "Target acquired."

"Ribbon on the left ear?" asked Kakashi.

"Check."

"Good, Lost Pet 'Tora' search mission complete."

* * *

_**Hokage's office**_

"Ooooh my little Tora-chan mummy was so worried yes she wus," spoke Madame Shijimi as she suffoca-I mean- held Tora.

_'Wow, no wonder he ran away she's nuts,' _thought Sakura as the Fire Lords wife continued to squeeze the poor cat.

"Alright lets see," spoke Sarutobi, "For Team 7's next mission you have a choice of babysitting an elder's grandchild, grocery shopping or skinning potatoes for a local restaurant."

**"OOH HAIL NO!!"** "Hokage-sama who do you have on logistics?"

"Um Kotetsu, why?" asked the bewildered leader. _'Why would she ask about something like that?'_

"Because using GENNIN like this is a gross misuse of resources, we should have academy students doing this crap."

"So I take it you want a more challenging mission?"

**"Well duh."**

"Sakura you really shouldn't-" chided Kakashi but before he could finish.

"Ok." spoke the Sandaime as though Kakashi hadn't said anything.

"But it really is... Say what?" asked a dumbfounded Sakura, she hadn't expected the Hokage to cave this easily, she thought he'd have to go through the whole 'why we do it like this' speech (which she would ignore) at least or a rebuttle or something.

"I said ok."

"Why?" she asked her raging curriousity getting the better of her.

**"FOOL YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED SHUT UP AND TAKE IT!"** Inner Sakura bellowed.

"Because now that you mention it, you're right. That and if we use the easier D ranked missions as an academy training exercises," _'meaning we don't have to pay them nearly as much if at all,'_ "we could augment the learning curve by having the gennin take on the more difficult D missions and low risk C missions."

"So what kind of mission will we be going on Hokage-sama?" asked Hinata.

"It's a protection mission."

"So, who are we protection?" asked Sakura,

"Come in Tazuna-san."

"**OH OH I BET IT'S A FEUDAL LORD, OR A PRINCE OR-"**

In walks a gray haired, balding, bespectacled old man chugging sake with a rope headband, "You gotta be kiddin me these brats are ninja?"

**"-a senile old drunk," **finished Inner Sakura as she deflated like a popped balloon.

"They may be young but they are fully trained ninja and if there's anything they can't handle Kakashi is a Jounin," spoke Sarutobi, "and just in case everything goes to pot they've got Naruto," he finished jerking his thumb toward the corner where Naruto was taking a nap before tossing a scroll with the mission details to Kakashi.

Crash!!

Tazuna had dropped his bottle of sake as he stared open mouthed at the… well he didn't really know what to call the boy that was lying in the corner but one thing was for sure with how strong and dangerous that kid looked... he was going to need another bottle of sake...or four.

* * *

_**On the Road to Nami no Kuni**_

"Hey Tazuna-san, you're from Nami no Kuni right?" asked Sakura.

"Yes."

"Umm, Kakashi-sensei do they have ninja in Nami no Kuni?"

"Nami no Kuni is a small country and, as a general rule, has no need for ninja or a 'Hidden Village' though most other countries, especially the larger ones, do."

"Why?"

"Well a ninja village means military power…" Kakashi began.

Hinata, who already new most of this from her 'heiress training,' had her attention focused elsewhere, _'What's with Naruto?'_

Shortly after they had left Konoha Naruto had started acting…weird, he kept looking around suspiciously yet whenever she activated her Byakuugan she couldn't find anything out of place.

'_Trees, no broken twigs, some animals, a puddle, and us, maybe it's just because this is his first time away from the village,'_ she was sure that she was missing something but she didn't know what. Deciding she was probably just being paranoid Hinata deactivated her bloodline, returning her attention to the rest of the team in time to hear how in the five greatest village's the leader was given the title Kage (shadow).

"Wow Hokage-sama must be awesome," said Sakura.

**"That lame geezer is that powerful? I don't know sounds fishy to me."**

"You guys just doubted Hokage-sama didn't you," scolded Kakashi.

**"WTF how did he-!"**

"To put it in perspective for you, the night that Naruto broke out of his cage Hokage-sama was the only one that even slowed him down."

* * *

_**Meanwhile in an undisclosed puddle**_

"Ok this changes things.."spoke a husky voice.

"Ok new tactic," came a second.

"Kill the geezer then run like hell?"

"Agreed."

"On three?" asked the first.

"One," started the second.

"Two," spoke the first.

"THREE!!" they chorused.

* * *

_**Right next to previously stated undisclosed puddle**_

Tazuna was walking along minding his own business when two very fierce looking ninja leapt from the innocent looking puddle encircling him in a wicked looking chain, the two ninja then pulled it tight shredding the poor man before sprinting away, all in the space of a second. For a moment nothing happened then…

POOF

In place of the mangled bits of flesh were replaced with mangled bits of wood. At this point the poor gennin and resident Jinchuuriki turned their horribly confused eyes on Kakashi who simply gave a pointed look to the side of the road where an even more confused Tazuna was getting up off the ground.

"What? Never seen a Kawarimi before?" spoke Kakashi but didn't wait for an answer as he turned to their client "Care to explain why there are ninja attempting to kill you."

* * *

**End Notes**

wow it is suprisingly hard to write a story without alot of input from Naruto, hopefully I'll have more of him next chp. Also sry this one is a little shorter then I'd planed, originally I was going to go all the way through the fight with Zabuza but I figured I'd made you wait long enough.

Also for anyone wondering what Kakashi did was 1. Kawarimi with a log 2. Kawarimi with Tazuna 3. Kawarimi with the log again ending where he began with Tazuna in the bushes

* * *

**Cliff notes**

1. logistics- what goes where and how much

* * *

**Muse Rant**

I'M !! sorry to cause some of you such trouble, but due to a few heart-warming reviews, I've decided to come back. And also, Delta will start to put these out at least a little faster!

**Translation by Delta: some of you made him feel all warm and fuzzy so he decided to come back, and he's going to badger me on a daily basis.**


	11. The Demons in the Mist

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

((Blah Blah)) author comment/random explanation

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, puns, butchery of the English language, funny hats, and the big comfy chair.

Edited: 7/22/11

* * *

**A/N**

First things first, Haku is going to be a girl like she was supposed to be in the original (I hate higher ups they always screw stuff up, saying a girl can't fight like that HA I fart in your general direction you sexist pig)

**ATTENTION: **I started a challenge forum so if you have challenges or are looking for something to write check it out.

**Description clarifications**

Hinata- a long sleeve purple shirt in the style of the one she is shown wearing in both the manga and the anime, black pant tucked into black ankle bindings, black tabi(split toed socks), and a sleeveless version of her usual jacket (minus the fuzzy trim)

Sakura- basically the same outfit she wore in manga accept with the added backpack/personal library that is ALWAYS present. Her hair is already short (the only reason she grew it out was because of Sasuke and seeing as she hates his guts at this point in the story that wouldn't have happened)

Sasuke & Kakashi- no changes

Naruto- walks on all fours (think Valley of the End), and wears only a pair of black pants. His hair/fur is a rusty color (if you want a reference think of the Akatsuki leader's hair)

* * *

**Chp 11: Demons in the Mist **

_**Somewhere**_

A crouching figure finished its report to a bandaged man.

"So the old man's not dead after all," mused Zabuza, damn those fools now that the Konoha ninja had been attacked once they would be more alert. Normally this wouldn't be a problem he'd just go in and kill them himself, but from the descriptions he'd been given by the Demon brothers and now Haku he recognized two members of the group protecting the bridge builder: Copy-cat Kakashi and Kyuubi no Naruto. Then there was the Hyuuga, she would essentially nullify his _Kirigakure no jutsu_. Kakashi and the Hyuuga weren't so much the problem though, it was the Jinchuuriki that worried him.

So, what to do...

He couldn't risk a head on assault for obvious reasons (he had no delusions about defeating an enemy that could fight on the level of the Third Hokage) and now that they'd been attacked once that damn Kakashi would be on high alert so he had almost no hope of being able to do this the sneaky way.

He knew the best course of action would be to cut his losses and run but…

* * *

_**Tazuna's house the next day**_

Kakashi was feeling uneasy, like he was being watched. The best time for a ninja to attack would have been as he and his team were still on their way to Tazuna's home and unfamiliar with the area, but nothing had happened.

"I'm home, and I brought help," called Tazuna as he entered the house.

**"You're just lucky you came to Konoha idiot,"** grumbled Inner Sakura as she, somehow, pouted in a corner, **"Any other village would have killed you for lying to them, just to make an example."**

_'You know that's probably why he chose to come to us in the first place, right,_' Sakura thought back as she walked through the door, this statement promptly shut up her more volatile half (she's the nicer side? a scary thought no?).

"Just send them back they'll just get killed if they go against Gatou," spoke a small voice from somewhere nearby.

Looking to her right where she felt the voice had come from Sakura saw a little boy who couldn't be more then eight glaring daggers at them, "…Who's the pessimist?"

As Kakashi came thru the door Tazuna answered, "That's my grandson, Inari."

"And just why is it that you think that the strongest gennin the Leaf has to offer and two of Konoha's most powerful members can't take on a pencil necked paper pushing like Gatou?" asked Sakura raising a disbelieving eyebrow. In all honesty she had a point, she, Hinata, and Sasuke were the top three in the academy not to mention she'd read about her sensei's exploits (and those were just the declassified missions), and then Naruto was…well Naruto was self explanatory.

"It doesn't matter how strong you think you are Gatou will just kill you!" Inari countered.

"I highly doubt that," said Sakura jabbing her thumb at the door where Naruto had just padded in after Hinata and Sasuke.

Inari was scared shitless. This guy looked more like a demon or an animal than a human, what could have happened to make him like this, "W-what is that?"

"_That,_ as you put it, is Naruto," spoke Kakashi.

"What happened to him? Why's he like that?" asked Tsunami who looked on the verge of tears.

"From the day he was born he held back a great evil that ounce threatened our village," answered Kakashi in a subdued tone as everyone turned toward him, "Unfortunately, a great many of our people took their misfortune out on him and something eventually went wrong with the seal. I have no idea why he did it, but rather than release his prisoner on the people who had tormented him for longer then he could remember and possibly save himself, Naruto gave up his humanity to save us."

What followed this statement could only be described as a deafening silence, nobody said anything, no one dared to breathe as though the slightest disruption would send the world into an irreparable chaos.

Silence

Then…snoring?

Everyone whirled around to stare at Naruto who had, evidently, taken up residence in the corner and was now sleeping peacefully, or at least he was until Sakura and Hinata broke down into laughing fits and woke him up.

* * *

The next week and a half passed in the relative monotony as every morning Team 7 would accompany Tazuna and his family to the bridge (Sakura had voiced her concern that Tsunami or Inari could be taken as hostages to get to Tazuna if left alone). There no further instances of 'emo Inari-ness,' as Inner Sakura had so lovingly dubbed Inari's little spat from when they had first arrived; he seemed to have realized that there was at least one person out there who had had it worse then him. Kakashi had informed his team that the next opponent or opponents would be of considerably greater skill and had set them to the "water walking" exercise, originally he had planned on teaching them tree climbing but evidently Sakura and Hinata had already learned it from Anko and Sasuke wouldn't say where he learned it (he would jump off a cliff onto lemon juice covered rocks before he admitted that he had been spying on the girls to figure out how they had been improving so much).

Which brings us to the first 'relative' aspect of the monotony.

It was the second day since Team 7 had arrived and Kakashi had just finished explaining the exercise so we find Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata attempting, with varying degrees of success, to walk on the water surrounding the bridge. Well to be more accurate Sasuke went swimming every time he stepped off the dock while after some experimentation to figure out what worked Sakura was now working on fine tuning her technique and Hinata had finished and gone back to the bridge. Suffice it to say that this did not sit well with Sasuke (understatement of the century).

_'GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Why can't I get this!'_ fumed Sasuke as he, once again, climbed onto the small dock attached to the side of the bridge. He couldn't understand why he was having trouble with something that seemed to come so easily to his teammates. Now, this in itself was not the problem, the problem was the internal conflict it caused. His wounded pride demanded that he reclaim his title as the strongest/best as soon as possible, but he was getting nowhere by himself. The obvious, and fastest, solution was to ask one of the girls for tips; something that his pride would not allow. So now it was down to a debate of the lesser of the two evils. Either he could figure it out himself and remain inferior (at least in his mind) longer or take a stab to his pride to ask for help but figure it out faster. After about ten minutes of deliberation he came to the obvious conclusion, so seeing as the nearest source of help was Sakura.

"Oi Sakura!" he called.

Unfortunately drawing his teammate's attention had the unexpected effect of drawing her attention _away _from what she was doing.

SPLOOSH

Too late Sasuke realized what he had done as Sakura surfaced glaring daggers at him, "Yes Sasuke-kun?" she asked in a voice that was entirely too sweet for the murder in her eyes.

**"THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD SHANNARO!" **raged Inner Sakura.

Clearly disconcerted by the look Sakura was giving him Sasuke looked off to the side breaking eye contact, "Um, I was just wondering if... since you seem to be so good at this... if you could um…" he trailed off mumbling his request.

"Sorry didn't catch that," she asked climbing out of the water.

Sucking it up, "Could you help me with this?"

Sakura just stared at him completely dumbfounded; Sasuke was asking her to help; _Sasuke_ was asking _her_ for help. Sasuke asking for help was unheard of; Sasuke asking _her _for help was a paradox.

Mistaking her silence for indecision rather then disbelief (he's still not looking at her), "Please?" when he still didn't get an answer Sasuke turned to see Sakura searching the sky for… something, "Um what are you doing?"

"Looking for the flying pigs."

"Huh?" What the fuck! Flying pigs? What did that have to do with water walking, "Why?"

"Because the day you ask me for help is the day that hell freezes over and pigs fly."

FACE VAULT

"WHAT?"

"Well I can't really see if hell froze over now can I?" she said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world still searching the sky then, "Ok no pigs so…" she felt his forehead, "…Huh. No fever either."

Finally having had enough of this foolishness Sasuke swats Sakura's hand away, "Honestly, is it really that hard to believe that I might decide to ask for help?" he demanded exasperatedly.

"Yes."

Sweat drop

"Will you help me or not?"

Tapping her chin as though making a very important decision, "OK," she said causing Sasuke to relax, "but you have to answer one question."

"Ok," it was just one question it couldn't be that bad. Could it?

"Which team do you play for?"

FACE VAULT

"What kind of question is THAT!" Sasuke practically screamed.

"A rather simple one," answered Sakura her face expressionless as though analyzing a math problem.

Seeing no way out of it Sasuke decided he might as well answer the question _'But honestly didn't everyone know that?' _he wondered. "I like girls."

"Well damn, this is a day of firsts isn't it?" Sakura mused, simply _fascinated _by these strange happenings.

As if poor Sasuke wasn't confused and frustrated enough from the past few minutes he was, once again, at a loss for words, well almost, "How's that?"

"Well first, this is the first time I've seen you this confused," a comment that thoroughly agitated our favorite avenger. "Second, you actually managed to swallow your pride and asked ME for help, that counts for two by the way," poor Sasuke looked like he was going to have a conniption fit, "And lastly I haven't been proven wrong _ever_, aside from the 'fieldtrip' where I realized that you were a jerk but that doesn't count, since I was six."

FACE VAULT

Poor Sasuke's face and ego were still bruised from that encounter, though in the end Sakura did help him, though she remained skeptical in respect to Sasuke's sexual orientation (just to piss him off if nothing else).

The water walking and its sideshow aside it had been a week and a half of sitting and watching the construction crew as they constructed the bridge and today had started out no different though shortly after work had started the second "relative" aspect to the otherwise monotonous stay in the Land of Waves decided to show its ugly mug.

"Well looky what we have here," came a condescending voice from the end of the bridge, "a bunch of baby ninja and their sitter trying to protect an annoying bridge builder," it was-

"Gatou," hissed Tazuna.

Now the obvious question would be, "What is he stupid?" but one must keep in mind several key facts contributing to his current arrogance: (1) the only information Gatou has is that Team 7 are Konoha ninja (and let's face it they aren't that intimidating), (2) Naruto is currently curled up out of sight in the shade of some of the construction equipment out of sight, (3) in addition to the usual band of 100 plus heavily armed thugs Gatou has 5 Kumo nukenin working for him all of whom just happened to be Jounin.

And the best part?

He didn't need to pay the ninja.

Again many of you are thinking something along the lines of "WTF? How is he getting off without paying them?" well to answer you question these particular nukenin were homesick. How does working with Gatou for free help them get home without being killed on sight? Easy. They get something that their village wants and use it as a peace offering, and if you haven't figured out what I'm talking about well 'Doomed Kumo Jounin #1' is about to tell you.

"Looks like Gatou was telling the truth she's unmarked, so definitely main house," he said looking straight at Hinata.

"Of course," spoke Gatou, "And this way it saves me the trouble of having to kill that flake Zabuza."

So it is that we find our heroes in a seemingly hopeless situation.

'_Well this sucks,'_ thought Kakashi when all of a sudden several things happened in very quick succession.

But first…

* * *

_**Konoha: Sasuke's Bedroom**_

It was, in a word, immaculate. Everything was as it should be, everything in its place, nothing out of the ordinary... well one thing was out of the ordinary. If someone were there, they most likely would have soiled themselves as they heard something that sounded suspiciously like "let the bodies hit the floor" whisper thru the room. Upon closer inspection they would realize it was just Sasuke's MP3 player playing "Bodies" by Drowning Pool but they'd still need to change their clothes.

* * *

_**Back in Nami no Kuni**_

No sooner had the words left Gatou's mouth a thick fog swept over the bridge cutting visibility to almost nothing. Fog this thick wasn't uncommon in Nami but for it to come so suddenly and in the middle of the day was another thing entirly.

Then as if to confirm that something was wrong a series of thuds and cries of confusion, pain, death, and terror filled the air as the gennin Team 7 formed a defensive perimeter around Tazuna. Hinata had activated her eyes and what she saw both relieved and terrified her, a man was running through the mist cleaving flesh and bone, sending gore and blood everywhere as he swept through Gatou's thugs with a sword that she could use as a cot. Three of the ex-Kumo nin were already dead, lying in ragged pieces where they had stood not moments ago, most likely cut down by the swordsman before they even realized that something was wrong while another, one that she could only assume had been alerted to the danger by his comrades' deaths, was fighting Kakashi and losing badly.

At some point during Hinata's horrified observations Naruto had appeared at her side, no doubt stirred from his nap by the cries of the dieing mercenaries, glaring into the mist his tails swaying dangerously behind him.

It was then that 'Doomed Kumo nin #1' came out of nowhere a hand extended to grab Hinata only to have the petite girl strike his side doubling him over while tripping him and using his momentum throw him toward Naruto.

The poor dumb bastard never stood a chance as with a snarl Naruto took the man's still extended arm in one of his tails and swung the man like a hammer into the unforgiving concrete of the bridge dislocating the man's arm with a loud pop before sheathing his clawed hand in the man's chest killing him before removing it with a sickening squelch as he tore the man's rib-cage apart.

Then everything went deathly silent.

Moments later the mist cleared revealing 100 dead thugs, the other 4 Kumo nin, a grouchy looking Momochi Zabuza, Zabuza's sidekick, and a rather alone Gatou.

"What's this I hear about you planning to kill me Gatou?" asked Zabuza, nonchalantly balancing a bloody Kubikiri Houcho on his shoulder. Now let's be fair (not that it matters at this point), Zabuza _had_ been planning to kill Gatou once he outlived his usefulness, but that is neither here nor there.

At the word Gatou Naruto's fuzzy ears twitched, "Gatu?" he asked Hinata indicating the short ugly man that had just wet himself with a still dripping talon.

"Yes Naruto-kun that's Gatou," answered Hinata though she wondered why he was asking.

She wouldn't have to wait long as Naruto snagged the little man's ankle with one of his tails and proceeded back down the bridge toward the village dragging a kicking, screaming, and thoroughly terrified Gatou.

* * *

**Omake: Flying Pigs**

**_By: EDelta88_**

"Oi Sakura!" he called.

Unfortunately drawing his teammate's attention had the unexpected effect of drawing her attention **away** from what she was doing.

SPLOOSH

Too late Sasuke realized what he had done as Sakura surfaced glaring daggers at him, "Yes Sasuke-kun?" she asked in a voice that was entirely too sweet for the look on her face.

**"THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD SHANNARO!" **raged Inner Sakura.

Clearly disconcerted by the look Sakura was giving him Sasuke looked off to the side breaking eye contact, "Um, I was just wondering if... since you seem to be so good at this... if you could um…" he trailed off mumbling his request.

"Sorry didn't catch that," she asked climbing out of the water.

Sucking it up, "Could you help me with this?"

Sakura just stared at him completely dumbfounded; Sasuke was asking her to help; _Sasuke_ was asking _her_ for help. Sasuke asking for help was unheard of; Sasuke asking her for help was a paradox.

Mistaking her silence for indecision rather then disbelief (he's still not looking at her), "Please?" when he still didn't get an answer Sasuke turned to see Sakura searching the sky for… something, "Um what are you doing?"

"Looking for the flying pigs."

"Huh? What does that have to do with-do you hear that?"

"...aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA**AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH**"

SPLOOOOSH! Sasuke and Sakura get hit by a mini wave as something fell out of the sky into the water in front of them.

Then Ino's popped out of the water, "Cough Hack SPLUTTER SPLUTTER Weeze, ok that is the last time I try to make a jutsu without asking Asuma-sensei"

For a moment Sakura and Sasuke just stared then Sakura turned to Sasuke, "Wasn't exactly what I meant when I said 'flying pigs' but it works I guess."

* * *

**Omake: Meddling Siblings**

**_By: EDelta88_**

_**On the Road to Nami no Kuni: Team 7 campsite**_

Team 7 and Tazuna had set down for the night just as the sun began to set. It had only been a few hours since Tazuna had finished explaining his situation and everyone was getting ready to go to sleep, minus Kakashi who had first watch.

Hinata was not happy. Why you may ask? Contrary to what you might think her current… ire was not due to the fact that their client had lied to them about the mission parameters. Nor the fact that they were now facing, at the least, a B ranked mission, though she knew it was more likely an A rank. In fact everything was as it should be, with one 'minor' exception… her bedroll was missing.(1)

_'Where is it?'_ she thought as she went through her pack, she knew she had packed it, hell she had even packed a spare in case something happened to the first, but now both of them were gone. _'Ok think Hinata how could this have happened,_' they had gotten their mission specs, she had gone home, packed, run to the kitchen to get something to eat, gone back to her room to get her bag, and then left… wait. Turning to the red haired boy curled up next to her, "Naruto did anyone mess with my bag while I went to get lunch?"

Taking a thoughtful pose, "Chibi take sleepy rags," he answered.

By this point Sakura had noticed that something was off with her female teammate, "Is something wrong?"

"Hanabi swiped my bedroll," she growled.

* * *

_**Konoha**_

"AAACHOOO!"

Glancing over at her student Anko grinned mischievously, "Sounds like your sister figured it out."

"Looks that way," answered Hanabi as she rubbed her nose.

CRACK

Anko looked at Hanabi's now cracked teacup, "That can't be goo-"

CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!

Staring around in abject horror as everything glass, clay, ceramic or otherwise brittle in the room cracked, "I'm screwed aren't I," Hanabi said in a resigned tone.

Waving her hand dismissively, "Nonsense, she'll thank you…eventually."

That really was the operative word, 'eventually.'

_'Got to get another C.T. scan,' _thought Anko as she pondered the mysterious disembodied voice that seemed to be narating her situation, _'I'M RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW I CAN HEAR YOU DAMNIT!' _she screamed in her head_, 'GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!'_

* * *

_**Back at the Campsite**_

"I AM GOING TO KILL HER!" by this point Hinata was in a towering rage, threatening many forms of bodily harm (disembowelment, amputation, broken bones, dissection with a spoon, death-by-paper cuts, and the like) upon her sibling for "plotting"against her. Frankly everyone else found this hilarious, even Sasuke cracked a smile (gasp).

"Oh come-hahahaha- come on Hi-haha-Hinata it's not that bad you could sleep with one of us," Sakura said while gripping her sides only to receive a rather stern glare from her friend, "Or you could always use Naruto's tails like you did before," she said referring to the night Hinata had spent in Naruto's cage, which only served to turn Hinata red as a tomato and send Sakura into further fits of hysterical laughter.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but-" she protested, well attempted to protest as her pubescent mind ran away with the idea of _sleeping_ with the object of her affection.

"Hinata," explained Kakashi, "I don't know what we are going to run into and I can't afford for any of you to be in a less then optimal state."

"B-but it's not-" she began to protest.

"Alright fine," said Kakashi in a commanding voice, "I _order _you to get some decent sleep," he finished while conveniently leaving out that they could just shuffle bedrolls with the watch but wording it in such a way that she couldn't call him on it later.

Hinata's only answer was to mutter about "interfering midgets" as she went over to her, for lack of a better term, pet and settled into the fluffy goodness that would substitute for her usual bedding, not that she was complaining but still, sleeping with him like this just made her feel...dirty. Like she was molesting a pupy or something.

* * *

**End Notes**

DEAR GOD! I have written, deleted, rewritten, revised, corrected and reworked this chp more times than I care to remember. Seriously I went thru at least ten different scenarios for the interactions with Zabuza before I gave up and bugged muse

Also I haven't decided what I'm going to do with Jiraiya so feel free to toss ideas out there. And remember I do go back and correct/revise/add to chps that I have already posted (in fact I've done so with several chps since the last update)

**PS **sorry for reposting this I accidentally deleted the original while fixing certain aspects of this chp

* * *

**Cliff notes**

1. Bedroll because it's easier to get out of in a hurry. It consists of a insulating pad and blankets.

2. Kyuubi no Naruto- Naruto of the Nine Tails (hence the name of the fic)

3. **Kirigakure no jutsu**- hidden in the mist technique

4. Nukenin- missing/traitor/defector ninja

5. Kumo- cloud (as in the village hidden in the clouds)

6. Kubikiri Houcho- head chopping cleaver (Zabuza's Zanbatou)

* * *

**Muse Rant**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It feels good to have this up and running (sort of). Delta, being the procrastanator he is, took way too long to finish this. Although, to be fair, he finally started going back to school. (good for him) the bum. I, on the other hand, am almost done with school, for now. (in your face Delta). And now, once again I leave you at the so incapable hands of Delta, may your deity have mercy on you, for he has none.

*walks off a cliff that suddenly appears in his path*

**Mock me will you...**


	12. Home Again Home Again

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, puns, butchery of the English language, funny hats, the big comfy chair, and obscure references.

* * *

**A/N**

Ok I admit it freely the ending of the last chp blew chunks, therefore I will be revising it to add a little more spice and closure. That aside most of the drawn out anime battles that you guys are used to are, generally, not realistic in the world of shinobi (that is of course excluding things like the chunnin exam finals and high level battles).

* * *

**Chp 12: Home Again Home Again **

_**On the Road Konoha**_

It was a fairly average day as Team 7 made its way back home, the sun was shining, the wind was blowing, Hinata was thinking, Sakura was talking animatedly, Sasuke wasn't exceeding more than a few syllables in one go, Kakashi was giggling like a horny schoolgirl, yep all was as it should be. So far they had been discussing/analyzing the mission and had now worked their way to the end of the somewhat one-sided battle that had left Gatou at the mercies, or rather the lack there of, of his victims.

"Did you see that prick's face when Naruto grabbed him?" Sakura crowed remembering the look of horror on Gatou's face as Naruto's tail took hold of ankle. "He looked like he was going to wet himself?"

"Did," stated Naruto as he wrinkled his nose which everyone accurately took to mean that Gatou had in fact lost control of his bladder.

"I thought I was going to die laughing when Tazuna and that guy started brainstorming how to kill Gatou while they were walking," Sakura said, referring to the incident where Tazuna and the mysterious man with the big ass sword had walked behind Naruto and Gatou graphically discussing how they were going to dispose of the little gangster. "Who was he anyway?" asked Sakura.

"That was Mamochi Zabuza he's…" began Kakashi.

At this point Hinata lost all bearing on the conversation as she became even more immersed in her own thoughts. Naruto had clearly remembered who Gatou was; now, normally, such a thing wouldn't be anything special, but Naruto was anything but normal. Normal for Naruto would be remembering things that directly affected him or someone he felt responsible for and things that were repeated over and over; Gatou had only been mentioned once and those conversations had been the only things to label him as a threat. The fact that Naruto had remembered that Gatou was "bad" from just that was out of the ordinary. Add to that that Naruto had dragged Gatou to the town square where Tazuna said Kaiza had been executed and well... _'Does this mean Naruto is getting better?' _Hinata wondered. Could these be signs that Naruto was finally starting to recover? Was it something else? Was it nothing at all and she was just seeing what she was hoping to see?

Those were Hinata's thoughts as Team 7 (and resident jinchuuriki) made their way back through the gates of Konoha before going their separate ways.

Kakashi going off to report to the Hokage.

Sasuke going off to do... whatever it was Sasuke does.

And Sakura, Hinata and Naruto going off together in the general direction of Irichiraku's.

Then...

"OOF!" was the closest thing to a startled cry that Sakura was able to manage as the wind was knocked out of her lungs and she was knocked on he butt. "What the hell?" she wondered looking around. "Oh it's just Konohamaru and his minions," she muttered as she caught sight of the Sandaime's grandson and his posse of Naruto/Hinata stalkers.

It was kind of funny really, a few years ago about two months after Naruto's "defeat" of the Sandaime during his "escape from captivity" Konohamaru had started "ambushing" Naruto and Hinata at random intervals. Eventually the girls (Naruto didn't seem to care he'd just swat the boy away like a fly and since Hinata could usually be found in the company of one or more of her friends they got caught in the cross fire) had gotten sick of it and captured him to find out what the deal was. Evidently the misguided twit felt that if he defeated Naruto everyone would have to call him Konohamaru instead of "Honorable Grandson" and other such gibberish. Needless to say they set him straight, well as straight as was humanly possible but at least now he didn't ambush them…as often.

Anyway back to the situation at hand.

Seeing who they had run into the Konohamaru Corps began their intro poses.

But Sakura was having none of that, it was funny the first time, the second time too, but this was like the 42nd this year and it was getting ridiculous. _'It's time for an intervention._' "You guys do realize that that cheesy intro is below you right? That kind of thing is something only old men with delusions of grandeur use to try, and fail miserably, and make themselves look cooler than they actually are."

* * *

_**Somewhere in Ta no Kuni**_

"ACHOO! Huh, some hot babe must be talking about me," mused the white haired man before turning back to his peep hole only to find all of his subjects gone. "Damn, and there were some good ones too."

Crack, Crack.

Jiraiya froze, he knew that sound. Very slowly he turned to look over his shoulder, almost afraid of what he might find. His misgivings were well founded it seemed because standing there looking set to kill was a horde of angry women in towels. Chuckling nervously Jiraiya started backing away, as a general rule he didn't mind getting beaten up a little (after all, all that punching and kicking tended to dislodge the towels) but from personal experience he knew that there was only one way out of situations like this where he could actually get seriously injured, he'd have to use _that_ jutsu.

"SENJUTSU OOGI: RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH NO JUTSU," cried the white haired sennin as he took off down the street the horde of angry women hot on his tail.

* * *

_**Back in Konoha**_

Needless to say Konohamaru and Co. stopped, alas the peace was not to last as Konohamaru's eyes focused one something behind the Naruto and the girls. "HI HANABI-CHAN!" he called with a cheery wave.

At the sound of her sister's name, Hinata whipped around so quickly that Sakura was sure she had to have injured something. Sure enough standing there frozen like a deer in the headlights was Hanabi…and Anko too, but she just seemed to be enjoying her protégé's plight.

_'Damn right I am…oh crap it's back again,_' she thought dejectedly. _'Not listening, not listening,' _she chanted in her head, futilely trying to deny the author's existence as Hanabi turned tail and ran like her life depended on it (which it did). "I am _so _getting a P.E.T. scan," she muttered as she turned to follow her fleeing minion and said minion's vengeful sibling.

Thump

"OW! You little bitch! That hur-"

_WHACK! Thumpathumpa! CRASH!_

"Oh that sounds interesting," chirped Anko as she practically skipped getting to a good vantage point to see the fun (read blood, death, gore, violence in general, you get the picture). When she made it into one of the trees, making sure not to be seen (if a Jounin shows up the interesting stuff tends to stop rather abruptly for some reason), what she saw was, in her opinion, funny as hell. Hinata was currently strangling/yelling herself hoarse at Hanabi while completely ignoring the poor Sand nin that she had sent flying thru a fence who seemed to have recovered enough to voice his indignation.

"What's wrong with you people first the midget now-" he began before he realized that nobody was paying attention to him, not even Temari who was staring in horrified fascination as Hinata attempted to kill her sister (whiplash or asphyxiation whichever came first). As you can imagine being ignored by such a small and seemingly weak girl, despite the obvious evidence to the contrary, did not sit well with Kankuro's ego, "Um excuse me," the tone was anything but polite.

Hinata didn't respond and simply continued to throttle Hanabi.

"OI! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Nothing

_'Ok that's it,'_ thought Kankuro as he marched forward drawing his fist back to deck Hinata.

"Oh wrong move puppet boy," chuckled Anko.

Pain. That's all that registered in Kankuro's mind as he was launched into a nearby tree. _'What the fuck hit me?'_ he wondered as he tried to get the world to stop spinning but as soon as it did he wished it hadn't.

Crouched in front of the dark haired girl he'd been about to attack was Kyuubi no Naruto, the famed and feared jinchuuriki of the Hidden Leaf, his face twisted into an snarl, his tails whipping angrily behind him. Then the fox boy started toward him, like the fox he resembled stalking forward while his eyes never left his prey. In that moment, Kankuro knew he was going to die and that there was nothing he could do to save himself. He'd heard the stories about Konoha's jinchuuriki, how no seal could hold him, how no one could stop him, how he was little more than a mindless animal. He'd thought the stories were exaggerated that Konoha was too soft, that they didn't have the guts to create something like that... but now, seeing the boy with his own eyes, Kankuro felt the stories didn't do the boy justice. The way he moved, his presence, the billowing tails, the look in his eyes... no words could describe how utterly terrifying this kid was, and Kankuro was unfortunate enough to have incurred his wrath.

'_Just my luck, I spend years tiptoeing around Gaara only to piss off someone scarier the first chance I get,' _he thought bitterly as he closed his eyes waiting to die.

"Naruto, sit."

_'WHAT!_' opening his eyes in shock, Kankuro stared in disbelief at the now sitting jinchuuriki and the slip of a girl (who was once more trying to kill her sister) that had commanded said jinchuuriki like one would a pet. The boy wasn't even looking at Kankuro anymore but up into the tree behind him.

"Shu-ka-ku?" wondered Naruto still staring into the tree.

_'Ok, now I know somebody up there hates me,'_ thought Kankuro. Honestly, made a fool of by, not one but _two_, little girls, then he pisses of the scariest kid he's ever met, now Gaara was standing above him? And if that wasn't enough, if he survived the next five minutes he was sure that every bone on his back was bruised.

Lucky for him Gaara was far too interested in, he believed the girl had said "Naruto," and the girl who had so easily commanded such power to notice that he even existed. What really interested him was the fact that mother was, for the first time, completely silent and if he wasn't imagining things Gaara was sure he could feel fear radiating from his beast. _'Most interesting,_' he thought as he disappeared in a whirl of sand only to appear down in the street, "I am Sabaku no Gaara, may I ask your name," he said indicating Hinata.

"Hyuuga Hinata," she answered warily, something told her that this kid was infinitely more dangerous than the cat man.

"And him?" he asked now indicating Naruto.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

With that Gaara turned on his heel, "Temari, Kankuro we're leaving," and with that they were gone.

"Hm must be time for the Chunnin exams," Hinata thought out loud before she turned back to Hanabi, who she had yet to put down, to continue where she had left off.

* * *

_**Random Tree in a Training Ground**_

_'Hm,'_ Sasuke had a problem…well another one anyway.

He'd known that Sakura didn't really like him, that much was clear from how she had acted back at the academy, but their talk on the dock back in wave had brought something to his attention, she didn't just "not like" him, she _hated_ him with a passion and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. A known fact to anyone who actually knew the Ucchihas before they were slaughtered was that they had an especially acute sense of curiosity. So it wasn't really the fact _that_ she hated him, after all neither did a lot of other people, it was the fact that it was so strong and he didn't know why and it was driving him up a wall…well tree but moving on.

He could always just ask her but now that his pride, like in wave, wasn't on the line he had no desire to take such a route, as it would end up with Sakura knowing and her possibly asking more embarrassing questions, when he could just as easily act like the ninja that he was and acquire the desired information through other means.

So Sasuke continued to ponder his plan of attack as his music switched.

"She fuckin hates me…" came through the ear buds.

'_How does it do that?'_ he wondered before going back to the matter at hand.

Operation "Unrequited Hate" had begun.

* * *

**Omake **

By SlashnYaoi

"Shu-ka-ku?" wondered Naruto still staring into the tree

Gaara stepped in front of Naruto, tilting his head curiously.

"Shu-ka-ku!" Naruto explaimed excitedly.

Then, to everyones horror (and fear) Naruto pounced on Gaara like an oversized dog, happily exclaiming 'Shu-ka-ku' over and over again. That is, until he did the unthinkable.

Much like the canine he was acting, he stuck out his tongue and licked Gaara in greeting.

He got a mouthful of sand for his trouble.

The collective thoughts in the area?

Ew

* * *

Edited: 10/17/11

**End Notes**

Well there you go, finally got it done. Kind of depressing how long it took me, but I had so many ideas and other stories running through my head when I wasn't busy that it was hard to focus on writing this one. Just check out my challenge forum and you see what I mean. The truly scary part is that I haven't even finished putting up all of my ideas yet.

Anyway so this is up, what did you think of how I handled the meeting with the sand sibs it feels like it's missing something.

On a side note I've set up a forum for posting and discussing challenges so anyone who has any they'd like to post or who is looking for something to write feel free. The link is at the top of my profile.

and a note to "FuckFuckFuckFuck Fuckidy Fu..." if you are reading this, if you are going to flame could you at least do it well and make me feel bad, honestly I've been more insulted by squirls chittering at me.

**NOTICE: Omake Comp****etition**

I'm taking an idea from a few other authors and starting an omake(extras) competition. Basically here's how it works, any of you who have little side stories that you think would be fun, write them and send them to me, then I'll take up to three of the entries that I like and post them with the chp. I'll be doing it with this chp, so send me your stuff and probably in like a month I'll repost with the omakes at the end.

* * *

**Cliff notes**

Senjutsu oogi-Sage technique supreme art

* * *

**Muse Rant**

Hello! anybody else annoyed with delta's update rate? Whenever he starts writing I get a god damned call at 1 am, delta aint that a little much? Oh, and for those who don't know, delta's forums are up, come on over a take up a challenge, or post your own. That or roast his ideas, for some of them need it.

**You have no right to complain about me calling you at 1am once when you've call me at all times, day, night, and in the middle of class.**

Yes, well that's different.

**How pray tell?**

Well it's not an inconvenience when I call you.

**...I should have known, and by the way go back to kindergarten and learn to count, I only made one forum.**

...You're an ass

**True this is, however, matter it does not.**

Oh shove it grasshopper.

**And what is it that I shove? While grasshopping around you I am.**

...

**I win**


	13. And So it Begins

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, puns, butchery of the English language, funny hats, the big comfy chair, obscure references, and.

* * *

**A/N**

First of all sry for the wait, life and writer's block got in the way (the muse going on a "NO MORE FANFICTION" trip didn't help either).

**NOTICE OF CHALLENGE**

I want to see if anyone can do this kind of story better then me, so somebody take the "Feral Naruto" concept and run with it (also Fem!Feral!Naru would be interesting).

* * *

**Chp 13: And So It Begins **

_**Naruto's Cage three weeks after the mission to Nami no Kuni**_

It was early morning in Konoha as Hyuuga Hinata sat staring at the twisted metal that had once held the boy now lying curled up next to her as she reminisced. _'So much has changed since then…' _she thought as she remembered that night. '_Has it really only been three years?' _it seemed so long ago that she had hidden behind corners and lampposts peeking out at the loud, seemingly unflappable, blond boy wishing she had the courage to go up to him and… what had she even wanted back then? Just to talk with him? To be his friend? To simply be close to that energy… that confidence that she so sorely wished she had?

And then he had disappeared. Just like that. One day she was watching him like she always had then the next… nothing. No one had seen him. No one knew where he was or if anything had happened to him. It was like he had vanished, like he had just ceased to exist. And none of them cared. It had only been later after she had come out of her depression that she learned the pains Sakura had gone to in her worry for the annoying but otherwise sweet boy that had attempted to court her.

Then there had been the field trip...

"Right field trip," she muttered to herself with no small amount of sarcasm.

Naruto looked at her oddly, as though questioning what her little outburst was about... and possibly her sanity.

"Oh hush you," she teased scratching him behind the ears before returning to her thoughts of that… what ever you wanted to call it. That day had exhausted her, she had already been weak from not eating like she should have and from not sleeping well, but it was the emotional roller coaster that had truly done her in.

The giddy relief of finding Naruto alive and seemingly unharmed.

Then the horror of the physical changes and what could have possibly happened to change him so drastically.

After that, finding the plaque from the Sandaime and learning the secret that explained everything.

The anger, loathing, disgust, and disappointment that felt toward her people as she realized _why_ Naruto was alone, _why_ Naruto was hated, _why_ no one cared, _why_ he had suffered, _why_ he had been twisted into this parody of human and monster, and _why_ he would continue to suffer having done _nothing_ wrong.

The numb shock as everything sank in that quickly turned to unbridled rage at her sister's insult to the boy, a hero in her eyes, who had protected them since the day he was born.

Then the surprise, horror, worry, and anguish as she watched her beloved imouto slip over the edge of the cage and disappear from her sight only to see her laying broken on the unforgiving concrete of the cage a moment later.

The panic as what had once been Naruto approached her helpless sister.

The confusion at his actions.

The uncertainty as she waited to find out if Hanabi would be ok, if she would be able to walk, be able to be a shinobi, or if her baby sister would even live through the night.

The flood of relief when she was told that, not only would Hanabi be alright, but that it would be as if the fall had never happened.

Then finally blissful unconsciousness as the day finally caught up with her.

In the months that followed she had simply stopped caring about what people thought of her or perhaps it was just that the only one whose opinion she really cared about was gone. She came and went as she pleased, said what she thought, and cared little for the consequences. Looking back on it, that probably would have gotten her stuck in the Branch Family… though she doubted it would have changed her behavior as, at some point during that time, she had also come upon the discovery that physical pain was temporary.

Then one night she felt like going to see Naruto, nothing special, it wasn't the first time she snuck out to see the young demon container… Then she'd seen Naruto on the battlefield. She'd seen the twisted mass of steel that had been his cage, the bodies strewn across the clearing, the dirt turned to mud by the blood of his victims, the ANBU and their futile attempts to even slow him down, the Hokage as he attempted to stop the boy he had come to see as his grandson… and then there was Naruto. Crouched on all fours soaked in the blood of his enemies, his face twisted into a furious snarl, and his nine tails billowing behind him as he faced the best the village had to offer like some ancient god of war given flesh and, in her surprise, she had called out to him, drawing his attention and causing him to pounce. For those few second that he had pinned her to the ground she thought she was going to die only for him to, as was his habit, surprise everyone and treat her like an affectionate puppy would treat its owner.

And now, three years later, here she was staring at the mangled remains of the cage that once held what was believed to be the most powerful individual in the village contemplating her sensei's words and her next actions.

_'People die in the Chunnin Exams,'_ she thought. Was she ready for this? She knew she was strong, that she could likely survive an encounter with most chunnin, and her teammates weren't anything to sneeze at, _'…and then there is Naruto.' _this wasn't the true dilemma (her team could handle almost any threat), she knew it, but for the life of her she couldn't put what was bothering her into words. It was like some unexplainable itch that she couldn't scratch. She was worried but had no reason to be. She feared for her life yet it was not in danger. She desired something but didn't know what it was. All these feelings swirling, mixing, conflicting, driving her mad. She felt… she felt Naruto tackle her and start licking her face.

"HEY! WHAT GIVES!" she laughed as the fox-boy continued to run his long dog-like tongue over her face. "DAMNIT NARUTO CUT IT OUT!" she half laughed and just like that Naruto hopped off her looking very pleased with himself. Propping herself up on her elbows Hinata glared good-naturedly at her friend, "And what was that for?" The only answer she got was a cheeky grin that he used to make before the incident and her heart fluttered as she found her answer.

She wasn't afraid of dying or at least not of death itself, she was afraid of losing…this. Death, the act of dying and what was waiting for her didn't scare her, it was what she'd leave unfinished that bothered her. She wanted to be there for when Naruto got better, then after that they could…

At that moment a real of images and fantasies played before her eyes causing her cheeks to turn… what shade of red is that, anyway?

"Fucking hormones," she grumbled, "it'd be like raping my dog… or him raping me…" she muttered as her mind ran away again.

"…Late."

Hinata blinked, "What?" she asked Naruto.

"We gonna be late," he answered matter-of-factly.

Hinata frowned, "And what makes you so sure I'm going?" she deadpanned.

Naruto cocked his head curiously, "Chicken?"

Later Hinata would wonder if Naruto had taunted her on purpose knowing that she would rise to the bait and go… she never would figure it out.

* * *

_**Outside the Ninja Academy Minutes Later**_

"If she chickens out on us I'm never going to let her hear the end of if," muttered Sakura.

"Never's a long time Sakura, you'll have to breath some time," teased Sasuke.

_'GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THERE IT IS AGAIN!' _raged Sakura. For some reason, that Sakura could not fathom, Sasuke had been acting…weird, as in _starting_ conversations and making _friendly_ bards and the like, mostly it was just the friendly that bothered her. As far as she was concerned Sasuke plus friendly equaled oxymoron.

**"Yeah, seriously what is up with him? He's been acting all... normal, ever since we got back from Nami no Kuni. Like all nice and shit." **

_'I know what you mean…Then again, how couldn't I agree with you? Technically you're me… or am I you or-'_

**"Moving on."**

_'Right… Where was I?'_

**"You were agreeing with me before almost going off on a tangent of trying to figure out how you and I can have different opinions."**

_'Oh yeah,'_ she thought. _'Anyway what is with him? All of a sudden he's trying to talk to me and being patient it's almost like he's flirting…with…me…oh god.'_

**"I think we may have over thought this,"** deadpanned Inner Sakura.

'_This is all Hinata's fault for making me bored…nothing good ever happens when I'm bored._'

...

...

...

"I'll kill her for this," Sakura growled

"Can I help?" a voice chirped.

"GAH!" that voice had been _right_ behind her, whirling around she came face to face with… "DAMNIT HINATA STOP DOING THAT!"

Recently Hinata had taken to sneaking up on people and scaring the bejesus out of them. Sakura thought it might have something to do with her friend spending more time with their favorite sadistic and slightly psychotic serpenty sociopath.

"Do what?" she asked in a voice that was entirely too innocent, Sakura was just about to go on a tirade and vent all her frustration when Hinata said, "Oh will you look at the time?" still in that sweet "Who? Moi? Surely you jest" voice before turning to enter the academy a fuming Sakura and amused Sasuke hot on her heels.

Coming to the top of the first set of stairs Team seven and tagalong noticed something rather odd; there were a bunch of people in front of a door apparently trying to get in but there were two guys blocking the door.

"There's something off about this," Sasuke muttered as one of the guys at the door knocked a kid in green spandex (shudder) to the ground.

"I know, was there some special class today or something?" muttered Hinata, "And what's with tweedle dee and tweedle dum not letting anyone in?"

It was then that Sakura (who had suffered a temporary case of "Oh Shiny" and had completely forgotten that she as mad at Hinata) got a better look at the door and the two guys blocking.

**"Hey when did Kotetsu and Izumo get mini-mes?"** asked Inner Sakura, **"And on that note why don't **_**we**_** have a mini-me?"**

_'Wait…'_ "Sasuke take a look around with your Sharingan," she whispered so that only he could hear her (resident jinchuuriki not withstanding).

Sasuke glanced at her questioning before complying, carefully sweeping the hall.

"What do you see?" Sakura asked, still staring at the door.

"Those two at the door are using Henge and there's a Genjutsu on the sign... it's really weak though," he whispered, frowning slightly.

"That would explain why we didn't sense it, we're not close enough," muttered Hinata as she caught on, "but why are they doing it."

* * *

_**Meanwhile**_

Throughout all of this Naruto had been very still, his eyes and ears fixed on the disguised chunnin guarding the door as he tried to figure out what was going on. Beta had told him that they were going to the third floor to take some kind of test but this was only the second floor and all these other people were muttering about being late for the exam and-wait one of the guys guarding the door just made some speech about them doing a favor and weeding out the ones who would fail anyway. So this was to stop them from getting to the third floor…well that was easy to fix.

* * *

_**Back with the rest of Team 7**_

"Well maybe they're-eep?" Sakura yelped as she and the rest of her team were dragged down the hall by their foxy companion.

"I take it your plan is to just ignore them?" Hinata asked her partner, seemingly unphased by his actions.

"Yes," Naruto answered casually, seriously if you could hear him you'd think he did this all the time.

"Alright, but could you put us down?" Naruto's answer to that was to just let go.

Tap Tap Thump

Hinata and Sakura landed on their feet having been through this routine many times before, Sasuke, on the other hand, had no such luck and was deposited squarely on his ass.

And so it was that several minutes, a sore ass, and bruised pride later that Team 7 walked into room 301… and a flying mass of blonde.

"Hey cutie, I missed you!"

"Aye, no," moaned Naruto, his ears drooping viably, "is the screeching flower."

"Ino we all know you're desperate but could you please stop molesting my teammate," growled Sakura.

"Oh piss off Billboard Brow, you're just bitter that your theory about Sasuke-kun's sexuality was proven wrong," she retorted.

"You guys are taking this thing too? Troublesome…" sighed (If you can't guess who this is I will hunt you down and gut you like a fish).

"And Sloth and Gluttony too…" Naruto whined but perked up as he heard a very familiar giggle, "Chibi?" he asked looking around, "CHIBI!" he cried happily before his face hardened. "Kibble…" he growled.

"Uh…hi Naruto," Kiba replied with a nervous wave, much to Kiba's discomfort Naruto had never completely forgiven the young Inuzuka's overzealous attempt to woo Hinata, everyone else thought it was hilarious, especially Hanabi.

"Ku ku ku, Oni-chan you can't kill Kiba-kun we need him for the exam..."

Kiba sighed in relief.

"...but when we're done he's all yours."

"WHAT!" Kiba cried, much to the amusement of his friends.

"And he was so confident until you guys walked in," Shino sighed dramatically.

"Hey you guys, you should be more quiet." Everyone turned around to find a silver haired teen in a purple uniform walking toward them. "You guys are the rookies just out of the academy right? Figures, screaming like schoolyard brats, geez, this isn't a picnic you know."

"And you are?" Sasuke inquired coolly, obviously not liking the older teen's attitude.

"Name's Kabuto, but first you guys might want to take a look behind you," the rookies did so, finding a good portion of the room glaring daggers at them, "Those guys from Amegakure have short tempers. Everyone's on edge because of the exam so I'd suggest you guys quiet down before you cause a scene," chuckling quietly at their sheepish expressions Kabuto went on, "can't really blame you guys I guess, you're just rookies, I was the same way my first time."

"So this is your second time?" Sakura asked.

**"Nah, he sounds too experienced as far as the exam is concerned for this to be only his second time,"** voiced Inner Sakura.

"Nope this is my seventh," he replied.

**"BOOYA, RIGHT IN ONE!"** Inner Sakura cheered while flashing the victory sign, **"Hey ask him about the exam, if he's taken it that many times he's bound to know something useful."**

"Wow, so you know a lot about the exam?" Sakura prompted.

"Yup, I'll even share some info with you," he said holding up a deck of nin info-cards.

**"JACKPOT!"**

"Lets start with overall competition shall we?" so pulling out a card Kabuto pushed in some chakra revealing a map of the elemental nations showing how many participants each country had sent that had arrived, "10 teams from Suna, 7 from Ame, 2 from Kusa, 2 from Taki, 29 from Konoha (the home village tends to have more teams), and 1 from Oto."

_'So 153 total,'_ thought Hinata, _'but considering that little trap on the second floor…' _discreetly activated her Byakuugan and took a head count as Kabuto explained his cards to Ino, _'…155, so 2 plants but what are they for?' _she wondered as she passed her findings off to her teammates.

"Hey, do you have anything on individuals?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure, though my info isn't perfect I should have something on anyone you're worried about."

"Hm," Sasuke hummed thoughtfully as he scanned the room his eyes fell on the team that he'd seen getting roughed up on the second floor looking as though nothing had happened. Eyes narrowing he turned back to Kabuto, "What do you have on them?" he asked pointing out the team.

Pulling out the appropriate cards Kabuto spoke, "Team 9 of Konoha under Maito Gai. Made up of Hyuuga Neji, Rock Lee, and Tenten, they're a year older then you, they've completed 28 D-ranks and 11 C-ranks. This is their first time taking the exam. Neji is a close range specialist employing his families Taijutsu, graduated top of his class and has only improved in the last year. Lee is another close range specialist, favors the Goken Ryu Taijutsu employed by his sensei and seems to have little to no talent for ninjutsu or genjutsu, graduated last in his year but has improved significantly over the past year. Tenten is a weapons specialist, preferring long range with no other outstanding talents, graduated as the top Kunoichi of her year."

Nodding Sasuke took another look around, "What about that redhead from Suna?"

Pulling out another card, "Sabaku no Gaara, don't have much on him as he's a foreigner and new to the exam, missions 8 C-rank and 1 B-rank, wow that's impressive but…" he pause scanning the card before giving a low whistle, "says here that he came back from every mission without a scratch."

Hinata chuckled at how dramatic Kabuto made it sound, "Well at least we won't have to worry about getting bored, right Naruto?" she asked scratching him behind the ear as he growled an affirmative.

"Don't get overconfident all the villages sent their best, though I wouldn't expect much from Hidden Sound as they're fairly new."

Scanning the room Hinata pouted, "This is their best?" at that everyone in the room glared at her but then something happened that no one expected. She smiled at them and a sudden wave of unease swept over the room.

_'Killing intent? When did…ok, it's official she has been spending waaay to much time with Anko-sensei,'_ Sakura thought.

**"You can say that again,"** Inner Sakura agreed. **"The fact that she actually looks cute and innocent makes it even creepier," **she added before Hinata spoke again this time in a low voice meant only for her comrades.

"It would seem Kabuto-san that it is not us that caused a scene, Oto nin seem to have rather good hearing,"that got their attention, "two incoming my eleven o'clock," no sooner had the words left her lips then Kabuto was attacked by the two Sound ninjas, though he dodged the physical attacks the second attack was not completely physical.

"BLEHH!"

"How pathetic, especially since you've been taking this exam for 4 years," sneered the one with the gauntlet, standing over Kabuto as he retched.

"Write this down in those cards of yours, we are definitely future chunnin," boasted the other male, the only answer he got was a derisive snort, everyone turned to see Hinata with an amused expression.

"I find that highly unlikely," she said in a voice that spoke volumes of her opinion of the three Sound nin and it clearly irritated them, "First mistake, you," she pointed at the spiky haired Sound nin, "jumped into the air unnecessarily, leaving yourself open to a counter attack. Second mistake, you revealed that your teammate," points to the girl, "is most likely weak at close range due to her lack of involvement. Your third mistake, and frankly your most, as you put it, pathetic, was you," points at 'Bandaged Gauntlet man' who was clearly angry now, "revealed the function of one of your primary weapons in front of a whole room of possible enemies…"

That was it; Hinata watched as the one with the bandaged made to take a swing at her with his gauntlet only for an orange tail to come down shattering the gauntlet.

_'Wait…orange?' _she wondered filing Naruto's color change away for later. While staring at the nin who's weapon (and possibly his arm) Naruto had just destroyed she finished, "…and you are baited far too easily."

POOF

"QUITE DOWN YOU WORTHLESS BASTARDS!"

**"Hey look, it's Kotetsu and Izumo…that reminds me, why don't we have a mini-me?"**

_'Hush, the scary guy's about to say something.'_

**"Fine but we WILL speak of this later."**

"I'm Morino Ibiki, the proctor for the first test of this exam," then he turned to glare at Hinata and the Oto nin, "Sound Brats and Miss Hyuuga behave unless you want to get thrown out before we even get started."

"Sorry, this is our first time, we got carried away," ground out the bandaged one in a tone that suggested he was in pain (oh poor baby).

Hinata just kept smiled, "On what grounds Morino-san? Self-defense?"

"Heh," _'A smart ass huh?' _"Just keep a leash on your boy toy," he countered, drawing some chuckles from the rest of the room... but Ibiki wasn't laughing. His attention was riveted on the look Hinata was giving him. _'That's Anko's "This Means War ™" look…this can't be good,' _and for the first time in his life Morino Ibiki, Tokubetsu Jounin, Head of ANBU Torture and Interrogation, and all around badass was afraid of a twelve year old.

And in Sasuke's apartment his MP3 player switched to _"Familiar Realm"_ as if to mock the doom that would soon befall the unfortunate examiner.

* * *

**Omake: How Sasuke Awakened Sharingan**

_**By: Edelta88 **_

_**Inspired By: Claws2**_

Left

Sasuke was not having a good day.

Duck

Why you may ask?

Roll

Well for starters, he fell out of bed this morning.

Right

Then there was no hot water when he went to take a shower.

Cartwheel

Then, as he was coming out of a _very_ cold shower, his possessed MP3 player turned on and nearly sent him into cardiac arrest… he really didn't know why he didn't just throw it out.

Combat Roll

Then he had realized that he'd forgotten to go grocery shopping, so breakfast was practically nonexistent.

Dip

Then he got ambushed by his fangirls on the way to the Academy.

Pirouette

It was a lecture day, so he'd been bored out of his skull.

Dive

Then to top it off Sakura was more pissed at him then usual for some reason…must be that time of the month.

Round off

So here he was…

Back flip

…dodging all manner of airborne literature…

Wall-run

…by any means available…

Barrel Roll

…as Sakura cursed at him…

Front handspring

…while Iruka-sensei tried (and failed miserably) to calm her down.

SPLITS!

_'SERIOUSLY WHERE IS SHE KEEPING THESE!'_ he wondered as he evaded yet ANOTHER dictionary. "Oh screw this," Sasuke muttered and then dove out of the window. Usually, he wouldn't skip class, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Landing in a crouch he breathed a sigh of relief…only so be pegged in the back of the head by a copy of Encyclopedia Ninja. Realizing that he still wasn't safe Sasuke took off like a bat out of hell heading for his apartment as literature continued to rain down from the second story window.

After splashing his sweaty face he glanced at himself in the mirror only to come face to face with a pair of Crimson eyes, "Sharingan…" he whispered reverently barely daring to believe what he was seeing as he took in the two black tomoes in each as he realized that he had finally awakened his birthright, "…it must have been the stress from trying to dodge all… the…books…" his voice trailed off as he realized what he was saying.

And as Sasuke stared into the mirror he cursed whatever deity was taking a sadistic pleasure in torturing his pride as he realized that, once again, he owed something to somebody and worse _Sakura _of all people…even if he was the only on who knew about it.

* * *

**Omake: What happened to Mizuki?**

_**By: Edelta88**_

Mizuki was in trouble. Why was he in trouble?

Well for starters, now that he actually thought about it, poisoning Iruka, even if it wasn't lethal, so that he could take the class to jeer and gloat at the Kyuubi brat, _'May he and his ridiculously complicated, ingenious, and spectacular pranks forever burn in the lowest pits of hell,' _was, in hindsight, a bad idea because it was so obviously him and would get him in a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Then there was the fact that he had actually taken the kids on that little field trip. The Third hadn't okay-ed anyone going near the cage yet, so that was bound to get him in trouble, and that wasn't including how his unauthorized class outing had gotten one of his students severely injured and he hadn't had them sign any wavers or permission forms.

Then there was the fact that he was now buried up to his neck. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, he'd just dig himself out or use a Kawarimi... but the fact that the punch that had landed him there had crushed his spine kind of sent that option out the window. _'Note to self, crushed spine is painful, in future avoid whenever possible.'_

Yet another issue was that in everyone's panicked frenzy to get Hanabi to the hospital and take care of the other kids they had kind of…forgotten him.

So here he was hours later like a planted turnip baking under the hot sun… and his nose was itchy.

Meanwhile over in the trees Anko turned to the Third. "You know I really don't give you enough credit," she said with… was that respect? "Leaving him out there to cook like this is really sadistic even by my standards."

"Just leave him for now, if it looks like he might die dig him out, but for now let him sweat."

"Why dig him out?" it was an honest question. "I mean he's got enough of a rap sheet now to have him executed why not save the trouble?"

"Oh I have a much… better, way to take care of Mizuki-kun," Sarutobi answered, a malicious twinkle dancing in his eyes. "I think some time in a cell is just what he needs."

Anko was stunned, no not stunned she was FLOORED. Sending a paralyzed man to a prison full of morally questionable ex-shinobi that hadn't seen a woman in years was just asking for… oh… OH… oh damn. Shaking her head "Mizuki you poor dumb bastard… sheesh I hope I never piss that geezer off, he's a vindictive little bastard."

"I'm not little I'm short why can't people understand that," grumbled the venerable leader as he left the young Tokubetsu Jounin to watch over the future prison bitch.

* * *

Edited: 10/17/11

**End Notes**

Originally I had planned for this to go all the way through the first test but I felt I'd made everyone(myself included) wait long enough for this chp to be done

I'm still taking Omake if anyone has any feel free to send them my way, hell if you have little extras for previous chps I'll be proofing/revising them (again) here.

Familiar Realm by Cky, is basically a "De Ja Vu?" song so the joke is that Ibiki had been on the receiving end of Anko's wrath and now he's in the similar position again.

* * *

**NOTICE OF CHALLENGE**

I want to see if anyone can do this kind of story better then me, so somebody take the "Feral Naruto" concept and run with it (also Fem!Feral!Naru would be interesting).

* * *

**Muse Rant**

Took you long enough, you last update was... what? August?

**Well you weren't helping with your whole, "DO NOT SPEAK OF FANFICTION IN MY PRESENCE" funk.**

That was because you kept bugging me about it every time we were in the same room.

**Of course I was, you are the MUSE I'm sapposed to probe your imagination for inspiration.**

Well, why don't you go peak on a womans' bath or something?

**Ah young fool, the Narutoverse this is not.**

_Oh crap he's going into Yoda mode again._ Oh HELL no! You are _not_ starting that shit again!

**And how is it, that this shit I am starting?**

Fuck *starts slaming head against wall*

**Victory, mine it is. (^.^)V**


	14. The First Exam

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, puns, butchery of the English language, funny hats, the comfy chair, obscure references, and wet dreams.

* * *

**A/N**

DON'T BLINK! You might miss something ;P

Also a note on the Omakes, if it seems like something that could be part of the story but just wasn't put in, that's most likely what it is. Most of the omakes that aren't obviously not part of the story, like the ones that contradict something, are actually story bits and scenes that I just didn't manage to fit in because there was no place for them.

* * *

**Chp 14: The First Exam **

"Heh, just keep a leash on your boy toy," the examiner countered.

The blank glare on Hinata's face could speak volumes to anyone who took a chance to look. You see it all the time in great apes, so as long as they're howling and showing off you were safe, because that's all it is, showing off. It's when the howling stops and their face goes blank, like Hinata's was now, that you know that you're in trouble and need to get the hell out of dodge.

'_Holy shit! She's totally raping him with her eyes!' _Sakura thought, in awe of the dangerous calm that had found itself in her friend's eyes (Inner Sakura would have commented, but she busy bugling "The Day is Done" in the background).

"Now lets begin," Ibiki began, trying to ignore the deep sense of foreboding that had settled in his gut. "Instead of your current seating arrangements you will each take one of these numbered tabs, once you are all seated we will hand out the tests, do not turn them over until I tell you to," several minutes of tabs and finding seats, "Now that that's out of the way listen very closely as I will not repeat myself and I will not be allowing questions…" he took a brief glance around the room to make sure he had everyone's attention then started talking, "There are several rules for this test. The first," he began writing on the blackboard, "is that each of you will have ten points, one for each question of the test, if you miss a question you lose one point. Next rule, this is a team test, your scores will be totaled out of a possible thirty. Third rule, if you are caught cheating you will lose two points for each offense. And the final rule, this is a team test so all of you pathetic ones that lose all of your points; you will not only fail yourself you will take you teammates with you. The exam will last one hour, I will give the tenth question at the forty-five minute mark," he said before barking, "BEGIN!" and watched as everyone in the room flipped over their test and began writing furiously... with one exception.

"**What an odd set of rules," **commented Inner Sakura.

'_I know,'_ responded Sakura as she answered the first question. _'It's almost like he set up for people to cheat, but who would have to cheat for this stuff? These questions are so easy it's almost insulting.'_

"**You're forgetting that we aren't exactly a good example of normal intelligence," **pointed out Inner Sakura. **"Lesser mortals might actually have trouble with this stuff."**

'_True,'_ Sakura admitted, _'but why set it up so that people could cheat?'_

"**My money's on testing how _well_ we cheat. Probably some convoluted means to test our spying and information gathering skills."**

While Sakura was having her inner monologue with her alternate persona Sasuke was puzzling and puzzling and damnit his puzzler was sore… though it had nothing to do with the test, he'd already figured that out and was letting his Sharingan do the work. _'So, she stopped chasing me like the rabid fan girl she was around the time that Naruto changed… maybe she's into the whole animalistic thing… no that doesn't work. If that were the case, she'd like Kiba… then she's a Furry?_' Immediately after that Sasuke shook his head violently trying to rid himself of the images that brought to mind,_ 'maybe Shino's right and men just aren't meant to understand…nah.'_

Meanwhile Hinata was sitting there seemingly studying the blackboard for several moments before turning to Ibiki giving him a predatory grin before flipping over her test. '_Well she'd obviously figured it out but what is she so happy about?' _he wondered, he didn't have to wait long.

"Oi! Sakura how do I solve this cryptogram?" Hinata called to her teammate as the rest of the examinees stared at her like she had grown another head.

"That will be two points Miss Hyuuga," Ibiki barked.

"No it's not, none of the rules for _this_ test gave any guidelines for cheating, we have carte blanche," she replied sweetly.

All of the examiners stared at her all of them thinking the same thing, _'Sweet Amaterasu… SHE'S RIGHT!' _You see, _normally_ Hinata would be wrong, as there is a unwritten set of rules for taking most tests that is beaten into each of us from the moment we start school, however, Ibiki writing the rules down his rules effectively negated this unwritten set in favor of his. Most would assume that the rules that had not been specifically changed still applied (that or they were too damn scared of Ibiki to risk his… displeasure), this was not true in ninja life as assuming got you killed, meaning Ibiki was trapped.

_'Somehow I get the feeling that this is going to be one of the longest hours of my life,' _thought Ibiki as he turned to add a definition of cheating to the list of rules. He couldn't be more right.

_Cheating: _

_Acquiring information from another examinee._

No sooner had Ibiki finished writing and turned around when, "Naruto, could you run home and get my copy of Encyclopedia Ninja?"

Giving Hinata a withering glare that could melt tempered steel, Ibiki turned back to the board.

_Cheating: _

_Any means by which you would acquire answers/information from any outside source (other examinees, reference materials, etc) or otherwise complete the test that did not come from your person._

_'Let's see you find a loophole in that you little smart ass,'_ Ibiki thought allowing himself an almost unnoticeable smirk so celebrate his victory…poor delusional fool.

As Ibiki turned back to the examinees (read victims) his sense of victory dissolved into well concealed irritation when he saw that Hinata was beginning to grin like the cat that ate the canary, _'Argh, damn it what'd she find now?' _he wondered irritation as he made half an attempt to find and close the hole himself but alas, _'Hand seals? She's using…"_

"Byakuugan!"

'…_but why's she being so obvious…damn my curiosity.'_ You see, all ninja are curious by nature to some degree, after all knowledge is power in the world of shinobi. The problem for Ibiki was that, as the head of the ANBU Torture and Interrogation Unit, he had become very accustomed to getting answers, so it would always irk him if he didn't get them."So eager to lose points Miss Hyuuga?" he asked in such a tone as to sound amused but keep his malevolent aura.

"Ah but I am not cheating," she replied, that annoying grin never leaving her lips. "My actions are not test related and therefore not punishable."

"Oh really?" Ibiki asked, his voice clearly conveying his disbelief, "Then what _are_ you doing?"

"Solving a mystery for Anko-san," she answered her eyes glinting as thought to tease him.

"And did you solve it?" an obvious trap, she now had to answer as to the nature of this supposed "mystery" or she was caught.

"Yes, in fact I did," she said while deactivating her eyes, "Boxers, red, with clouds and dancing Care Bears," she finished her grin becoming positively evil.

As the implications of her words sank in around the room everyone turned disbelieving eyes on Ibiki who seemed to be trying to set the Hyuuga heiress on fire with his eyes for several minutes before he turned to make amendments to his definition of cheating.

_Cheating: _

_Any means by which you would acquire answers/information from any outside source (other examinees, reference materials, etc) or otherwise complete the test that did not come from your person._

_Includes any actions that could be interpreted/misinterpreted as such._

_'That should do it, no way for her to cheat off anyone without losing points now,' _what he found when he turned around eye was twitching dangerously, Hinata was sitting there calmly filling out the cryptogram, _'Why that sneaky little… she memorized the answers off someone using that wise crack as a cover so I couldn't get her… I don't know whether to be pissed or impressed,'_ he thought with an exasperated sigh (inwardly of course, couldn't risk the oppressive atmosphere that he'd built after all), "Oh well at least now this little fiasco's over," he muttered under his breath.

_'There is no way this is over,'_ thought Sakura who, having finished her own test about ten minutes before, had promptly set about finding a comfortable position from which to watch her teammate harass the examiner.

**"You said it, we still have plenty of time before he gives that last question. No way is she letting him off the hook,"** responded Inner Sakura. **"But what's she going to do now? Even we can't see a way around that definition."**

_'Wait a minute! She's already filled out her test! She doesn't need to cheat anymore!'_

**"…Oh that girl is evil. EVIL I TELL YOU!"**

_'Don't you think you're being a little overdramatic?'_

**"Absolutely."**

_'Sigh… oh look she's starting the next act.'_

Putting down her pencil and turning over her test Hinata started scanning the room, a calculating look in her eye. _'How to do this...' _she wondered. _'It'll have to be fast, over before the proctors have a chance to realize what I'm doing and stop me…so Ninjutsu and Genjutsu are out, the hand seals would take too long and some of them might be chakra sensitive; it would make sense to have at least one who could considering the nature of their task… I can't outright attack any of the other examinees he shot that down before the test even started so knocking them out or otherwise disabling them is out of the question… and his warning was "behave" so most likely any kind of combat is out. I'll have to go for the tests directly...hm,' _she thought before fishing around in her pouch.

A moment later a number of the examinees and examiners paused as an odd sound broke the relative silence. _'Something rolling?'_ wondered Ibiki as he looked around trying to pinpoint the noise. _'No it's several somethings,' _then his eyes fell on an item the size of a ping pong ball that had just rolled out from under one of the desks a, _'SHIT!'_

FLASH/BANG!

For several moments nearly everyone in the room was rendered blind and deaf as a result of the stun bombs that had been released. Then…

"What the hell! Where'd my test go!"

"Hey mine's gone too!"

"What's going on!"

All around the room tests had disappeared but nothing else seemed to be out of place, sighing Ibiki said "Anyone without a test, get out, and take your teammates with you," suffice it to say that this proclamation was not happily met, "Look brats your test was your ticket to passing this section of the exam so the first thing you should have done was have a hand on it to make sure that precisely this did not happen, no test, no points, get out."

As things settled down and the last of the test-less examinees filtered out Ibiki turned to Hinata, "Let me guess, it has nothing to do with _your_ test so you're not cheating?" he asked, the only answer he got before he, yet again, turned back to the board was a cheeky grin.

_Cheating: _

_Any means by which you would acquire answers/information from any outside source (other examinees, reference materials, etc) or otherwise complete the test that did not come from your person._

_Includes actions that would impede the ability of another examinee to complete theirs._

_Includes any actions that could be interpreted/misinterpreted as such._

"Naruto could you-"

"Stop," Ibiki ordered before turning back to the board having already figured out where the young heiress' thoughts were headed

_Cheating: _

_Any means by which you would acquire answers/information from any outside source (other examinees, reference materials, etc) or otherwise complete the test that did not come from your person._

_Any actions you might take that would directly or indirectly impede the ability of another examinee to complete their test._

_Includes any actions that could be interpreted/misinterpreted as such._

"You're learning," Hinata mocked.

Sighing Ibiki glanced at the clock, _'I'M SAVED!' _"Though I would love to continue out game miss Hyuuga, it's time for the 10th question," he said cheerily, his face twisting into a sadistic grin as he finally took back control… or some semblance of it.

_'SHIT!'_ panicked Kankuro only just realizing how much time had passed. _'I got so distracted by that girl screwing with the examiner that I forgot to pass the answers to Temari!_' he thought before throwing a look over at his older sister hoping she'd managed on her own… if her attempt at glaring holes in his head was anything to go by she hadn't, _'…I'm sooo dead.'_

All across the room other examinees were expressing similar sentiments as they realized that they had failed to complete some part of their tests, the thoughts of the examiners who noticed this however…

They were staring open mouthed at Hinata who was scanning the room nursing a smirk that spoke volumes of her satisfaction with the misfortune of her fellow examinees, _'She was using the whole thing to distract them since the beginning…'_

Ibiki, who had just realized this himself, couldn't help but sigh inwardly. _'I feel so used…' _he thought before beginning his "Question 10 Lead Up."

"For this next question there are going to be some extra rules," he explained, "the first is that you must choose whether or not to take the question."

"And if we choose not to take it?" asked Hinata, her voice calm and her eyes fixed on Ibiki.

"If you choose not to take it, you fail."

"WHAT?" screamed a Taki nin, "If that's the case then there's no way I'm NOT taking it."

"Ah but there's a catch," Ibiki said, his lips twisting into a cruel smile making the examinees uneasy, "Should you attempt the 10th question and answer incorrectly… you and your teammates forfeit the right to take part in the Chunnin Exam ever again."

"WHAT KIND OF STUPID RULE IS THAT?" screamed Kiba, "THERE ARE GUYS WHO'VE TAKEN THIS THING LOADS OF TIMES!"

Ibiki just laughed at him, "Well I wasn't proctoring those exams now was I?" he said, his voice carrying a clear note of sadistic mirth, "It's just your rotten luck that you got me this time. So those of you confident in your ability to answer correctly stay put the rest of you, get out."

One by one people began to leave, taking their teammates with them.

_'What should I do?'_ wondered Hanabi _'I really want to take the question but I might screw up and then Shino and Kiba won't be able to take the exam ever again…'_ she thought starting to panic and then…Hinata started laughing hysterically.

Once again drawing the incredulous stares of those around her for several moments before she managed to get ahold of herself and explain, "I can't believe they actually fell for that, even if he could ban them from the Chunnin Exams, which I highly doubt any of the other villages would agree to, they could just do it the old fashion way with a skill assessment or get a field promotion."

Cue room wide looks of sheepishness as everyone realizes that they've been had.

Only Ibiki noticed the significant look that she threw her sister, _'She saw through the ruse and was aware of not only her own teammates but also the other teams,'_ he thought approvingly (grudging though it was) before looking around, _'Though she did kill my oppressive atmosphere…hm, 78 left, might as well try to knock off a few more,' _"Anybody else?" nothing, "then in that case…you pass."

…

…

…

Wait for it…

…

Wait for it…

**"WHAT!"**

…there it is.

"What about the 10th question?" cried Sakura.

"There never was one," Ibiki said, who seemed rather amused (understatement) if the toothy grin he was sporting was anything to go by, "or if you wanted to split hairs, the choice to stay here _was_ the 10th question."

"THEN WHAT WERE THE FIRST NINE FOR? THEY WERE POINTLESS?" obviously she was not pleased (again, understatement, though a lot of it was probably carryover from being pissed at Kankuro).

"They weren't useless. They served their purpose quite well."

"Huh, what purpose?" asked Temari.

"To test your information gathering abilities."

**"SHANNARO! WHO CALLED IT! It **_**was**_** a convoluted way of testing out information gathering skills, I win the bet."**

_'First of all, I never took the bet. Second, what would you win? You're a voice in my head.'_

**"Bragging rights?"**

_'Sigh…'_

"Information gathering…?" asked Temari more out of curiosity then anything else.

"First, like the rules said you pass and fail as a team, this puts pressure on each member not to screw up for the sake of their teammates, however, the questions were not the type that a gennin or most chunnin could answer thus forcing you to cheat in order to score and because of this we had several plants for you to cheat off of. Those who cheat poorly, fail, those in the field who spy poorly die or worse," he said while undoing the knot of his bandana.

"Don't you have your priorities off a little," asked one kunoichi.

"You could be captured," he said as he finished removing his bandana revealing the scares that lay beneath. "If you're lucky they will kill you when they are finished extracting information from your skull, if not…" he said, his gaze lingered significantly on the girl who had spoken, "there are fates horrifying beyond your imagination."

Ibiki paused to let his warning sink in before continuing.

"At times information is more valuable than life, during missions and on the battlefield people will risk their lives, do _anything_, to protect and acquire it," he said replacing the bandana. "If you take nothing else from this exam, remember that information is one of the most powerful weapons you will ever find in our world."

"And the 10th question?" asked a now calm Temari, _'…and then I'll shove my fan so far up Kankuro's…'_ well _mostly_ calm anyway.

"It was a leap of faith," he said, then seeing the confused looks he elaborated, "It was a "Take it/Don't take it" decision with one choice being the "sure thing" while the other was an unknown. Now, say you become Chunnin, you are given a mission to steal a set of documents, the number and skill level of your enemies is unknown to you, the passive security measures also. Because you don't want to die or see your friends hurt can you avoid this mission? The answer is no. The ability to take a calculated risk when needed is essential to the mindset of a Chunnin. Those unable to do so, like those that chickened out, are not ready to advance. So to those of you still here, congratulations on completing the first portion of the Chunnin Selection Exam and good luck."

CRASH

_'Geez…forgot she was proctoring the next one,_' Ibiki thought as the bundle that had just burst through the window flipped out turning out to be a woman with a banner.

"I'm Mitarashi Anko, examiner for the second test!"

Silence…

"What never made an entrance before?"

Silence…

"Sheesh tough crowd… wait a sec," said as she started counting heads before rounding on Ibiki. "78? You let 26 teams pass?" she asked incredulously, "You going soft scar face?"

"You have your student to thank for that," he grumbled.

"That reminds me, Hinata report!" she barked.

_'Uhg, not again,'_ thought Ibiki.

"Boxers, red, with clouds and dancing Care Bears," came Hinata's reply sending the room into peels of laughter.

Turning to Ibiki with a sinister smile, "Get _me_ drunk at karaoke bar will you?" Anko chuckled cruelly. "Anyway, doesn't matter, their numbers will be less than half this by the time I'm done with them," she said just loud enough for the rest of the room to hear her.

**"LESS THAN HALF? What the hell kind of test is this?"** raged Inner Sakura.

_'Remember who you're talking about,_' Sakura replied.

**"Oh right, it's Anko… fuuuck~"**

"Oh this is so exciting," Anko said, her voice the most creepy kind of cheerful that any of the gennin had ever heard. "Ok follow me and we'll get this party started," and !with that she walked out of the room, examinees in tow.

"Ok, time to clean up," Ibiki muttered as he started collecting the tests, he'd only been at it for a matter of seconds when...

"Oh and Ibiki-san," Hinata called poking her head back into the classroom.

"Yes Miss Hyuuga?" Ibiki sighed resignedly.

"You could have just said the definition of cheating was at the examiner's discretion," she said before leaving with the rewarding sound of Ibiki letting loose a long and creative string of expletives following her down the hall.

This day would be forever be engraved into the minds of many as the day that Morino Ibiki, Special Jounin, Head of ANBU Torture and Interrogation, certified badass, and all around scary dude was given the run-a-round by a 12 year old girl.

* * *

**Omake: The Origin of Beta**

_**By: Edelta88**_

"So you're saying that the leader is Alpha?" asked Naruto.

Nodding Kiba said, "Yeah the pack leader along with his mate are called the Alphas while the 'Second in Command' is called Beta."

"But how do they decide who's who?"

"Well the Alpha is usually the strongest in the pack."

"So the Alpha is like the Hokage, the strongest leads," Naruto mused, then he asked, "How do they pick the Beta?"

"Well the Beta is picked for two things strength and trust," Kiba began in a passable imitation of Iruka's 'Lecture Voice™,' "The Beta has to be strong but the Alpha also has to trust them, usually the Beta is the one that the Alpha trusts the most rather then the second strongest."

"Oh so it's kind of like the Beta is the best friend."

"You could say that…"

_**Years Later**_

We find Naruto curled up half asleep in a corner of the Hokage's office with Hinata using him as a pillow while flashes of nearly forgotten memory pass through his wandering mind.

"…_leader is Alpha…"_

"…_usually the strongest…"_

"…_Beta…the one the Alpha trusts the most…"_

Strongest…he was strongest…so…he was Alpha?

"…_trusts most..." _

Beta…trust…he could trust Beta…but who was Beta? Who did he trust?

"Naruto-kun," the sleeping Hinata mumbled in her sleep drawing the attention of the half awake Jinchuuriki.

This girl…the one who had come into his territory…slept in his den…

"…_Good luck…"_

More memories…

"…_Naruto-kun…"_

She was different… her voice had been different then the others… warmer… and her presence… when she was near him… she felt like… like the air after the rain… like the sun… she felt… safe… like he could… trust her…

And as sleep finally claimed him a single, almost silent, word passed Naruto's lips, "Beta."

* * *

**WARNING: **This next omake is sexual in nature so those of you who don't like lemons skip straight to the End Notes

* * *

**Omake: Puberty Sucks**

_**By: EDelta88**_

As Hinata moved through the woods of the training ground she began getting desperate. She had been on a mission with the others for more then three weeks (so no privacy or semblance there of) and she was so horny she almost didn't care it she got caught… almost. Her biggest problem had been shaking Naruto, normally that wasn't a problem, she just told him to stay at home until she got back went did her thing and it was done. The problem was that usually she was calm when she told him and this time she was so worked up she actually had to try and evade him.

Either way she was alone now and deep in one of the many training grounds where no one would be able accidentally hear or find her. So, after making a quick check with her Byakuugan to be sure that she was in fact alone Hinata began to strip. The first time she had done this she had just dropped her shorts and done her thing, big mistake. She'd had to wash her clothes and wait for them to dry before heading home.

So pulling her jacket over her head she tossed it to the side while slipping off her zori. Then came the shirt revealing her plain white bra over her rather well developed chest (ah the wonders of a baggy jacket). Finally hooking her finger in the waist of her pants she pushed them down past her knees before stepping out of them and tossing them on the pile.

Without bothering to remove the last articles of clothing Hinata practically threw herself to the ground. Shoving her hand down her panties she began massaging her swollen folds while she moved her other hand to remove her bra.

* * *

Meanwhile, not too far away, a rather bewildered Jinchuuriki sniffed the air as he followed the invisible trail left by his Beta as she had run away. Finding her scent again he took off deeper into the forest until he heard something. Padding toward the sound he came upon his quarry lying on her back in the middle of a clearing. Before anything further registered in his brain he caught a scent that he had never smelt before but that he recognized on a primal level.

* * *

Completely unaware that she had been found Hinata continued to pump her fingers in and out as she massaged her breast driving herself closer until finally with one last thrust she went crashing over the edge shrieking her ecstasy as spasms ripped through her body.

Basking in the after glow of her orgasm she remained unaware of the predator drawing closer to her as she lay prone on the forest floor. Still panting Hinata became vaguely aware of something wet on her inner thigh, at first she thought nothing of it thinking it was probably just some of her juices trickling down her leg.

'_Wait since when does liquid fall up!'_ she thought immediately coming out of her daze to find Naruto between her legs lapping at the juices leaking from maidenhood.

"Naruto what are you-AH!" she gasped as his long rough tongue ran up the length of her thigh, "N-Naruto stop it!" she ordered scooting away from him in an attempt to get out of his reach only to feel the rough bark of a tree blocking her retreat. Panicking Hinata tried to roll to the side only to be held against the tree by one of Naruto's tails as he drew closer. Trying to push the restraining appendage off she soon found her wrists pinned above her head by another of his tails.

"Naruto please," she whimpered as he gently pried her legs apart with two of his free tails but her pleas fell on deaf ears. The smell of her arousal combined with Naruto's primal mindset had awakened an instinct in her friend and companion that not even she could control.

As he held her legs apart Hinata could only watch in helpless fascination as Naruto lowered his head to the glistening liquid coating her thighs where he began greedily lap at her juices, his rough dog-like tongue running up her inner thigh.

Hinata couldn't stop the whimper that escaped her as Naruto's tongue drew closer to her moist core. If she were to be completely honest she had always wanted this to happen, just not like this. She wanted Naruto to be… Naruto again when they did this.

As Naruto continued to lap at the sweet fluids he marveled at the noises she was making, they were so…well he didn't know what to call them but he did know that he wanted her to make more of them.

_'Oh you have got to be kidding me!'_ thought Hinata as she started to squirm in a vain attempt to escape the tails that were now exploring her body. _'Seriously what is this? A bad hentai?'_ she asked herself with no small amount of sarcasm, though she'd be lying if she said that she hadn't wondered what it would be like. _'Well I'm about to find out I guess,'_ she thought as one of his tails found her left breast.

"Mmmh," she moaned as Naruto's tail began kneading her breast experimentally. _'You know, if I didn't know better I'd think he'd done this before,'_ she thought in an attempt to distract herself. Iit was in vain as Naruto had finally traced her essence back to her core.

"Ah!" she cried as his tongue ran over the swollen lips of her sex and her hips bucked instinctively seeking further contact, this had the intended result of driving Naruto's outstretched tongue deeper into Hinata's folds earning another pleasured cry from the captive Hyuuga.

Realizing he'd found a particularly sensitive area Naruto continued to plunder the depths of his companions body until his roaming tongue found one spot in particular instantly sending her over the edge.

'_How in the nine pits of hell is he so good at this?_' she wondered through the spasms of pleasure that continued to rack her body.

Her back arched, her mouth agape in a mute scream of ecstasy she never noticed Naruto remove his slimy appendage from her womanhood to watch the fruits of his labors. As she came down from her high noticed he had removed his pants and was now aligning himself with her.

And then…she woke up, her body tangled in her sheets and a now familiar dampness between her thighs. "These thrice damned hormones are going to drive me insane," she sighed as she got up with the intent of cleaning herself and changing her sheets… never noticing her roommate smile as he licked a suspicious fluid from his lips.

* * *

Edited: 11/17/11

**End Notes**

Anyone who knows the "Encyclopedia Ninja" reference, it's a shout out to the first FanFic that I ever read. Those of you who don't know what I'm talking about go search Encyclopedia Ninja, it's a great read.

For those of you who don't know what a Furry, the general stereotype is someone who dresses up in an animal costume to have sex.

Some of you might have recognized the last Omake if you ever checked out my AFF link (I forgot the password so that's been abandoned), those of you who didn't I hope you enjoyed it.

* * *

**Cliff notes**

Taps is a funeral march

Encyclopedia Ninja is another fanfic (a rather good one in my opinion)

* * *

**Muse Rant**

Hello all! Schools out here! Yay, three glorious months of…nothing, shit, I'm already BORED! Anyways, back to job hunting

**ADD Much?**

Yuppppp, and too much caffeine at 3 in the morning!

**When do you not have caffeine?**

When I run out? Never? Who knows?

**And he just got a 36 pack…I'm doomed.**

Why yes you are, especially if I get the 3rd member of this little group over here.

…**Third member?**

Why yes, our third musketeer, my clone, THE ONE, THE ONLY…ah you all know who I'm talking about.

**SILENCE…I **_**kill**_** you…and your little clone too.**

You have to catch us first *drinks more caffeine* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

***Pulls out red bull and gives chase***


	15. The Second Exam

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for: language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, puns, butchery of the English language, funny hats, the comfy chair, obscure references, wet dreams, and…yeah I got nothing, meh was fun while it lasted

Edited: 7/22/11

* * *

**Chp 15: The Second Exam **

_**Training Ground 44**_

"Well kiddies welcome to Training Ground 44, lovingly nicknamed "The Forest of Death" by those who have used it, this baby features more than three hundred square kilometers of densely wooded forest, over two hundred species of poisonous plants, an unknown number of un-triggered traps and unexploded ordinances, and all manner of things that go bump in the night," Anko said in a cheerful voice… that did not bode well for the examinees, "And for the next one hundred and twenty hours you sorry bastards get to call it home," she finished as her smile turned positively evil.

Silence…

"But first you need to sign your release form!" Anko chirped, waving a stack of papers.

Mass Face Vault

After each participant had one of the forms Anko started explaining the second exam…

* * *

_**Meanwhile with Team 7**_

As Anko was explaining the exam Sasuke was becoming increasingly nervous, about half way through Anko's speech Hinata had gotten that "I'm being evil" look that meant, especially when it was "Sweet Innocent Hinata-chan"(he used the term loosely), that shit was about to happen.

"We go last."

Sasuke blinked, "Huh?"

Hinata looked to him still smiling, "We wait for everyone else to get their scroll, then when we go follow my lead," she said just as…

"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO FOR FOOD?"

* * *

_**Three Seconds Earlier**_

"…So in order to pass your team must make it to the tower with both scrolls and all its members," Anko finished.

It was at this moment that Chouji realized something, "Wait we're going to be in there for five days…" cue classic Akamichi meltdown, "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO FOR FOOD?"

"For that you're on your own but the forest is full of animals and edible plants, just be careful they don't make _you_ dinner, now if there are no further questions please make your way to the booth to exchange you forms for a scroll."

Fifteen minutes later found a smiling Anko watching as the gennin teams took off into the forest, and watching as Team 7 seemed to head straight for the tower. Everything was going so well…

"Anko! We have a problem!" yelled one of the chunnin.

…or not, "What is it?"

"We just found Sota and Jin out cold in the scroll tent," he informed her.

"So? They're probably taking a nap, I would be," replied sounding unconcerned.

"And some of the spare scrolls are missing," he added.

_That_ got Anko's attention, "Oh? Now that _is_ something," she said as she started walking toward the tent. "Get me some smelling salts it's time for a game of twenty questions!" she said, a little too happily as she entered the tent finding the two chunnin slumped over on the table. The first thing she noticed was that neither of them was in a particularly comfortable position. _'So they weren't planning to take this little nap,' _she thought as she continued inspecting the scene. _'No sign of a struggle, no visible marks, and five scrolls unaccounted for, attacking an examiner is technically not against any rules… This has Hinata written all over it,' _she thought while taking the smelling salts from the chunnin that had just gotten back and holding them under Sota's nose and wrenching him to wakefulness. "Welcome back to the land of the living kid, mind telling me why you were catching up on your beauty sleep in the middle of my exam?"

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he answered, "Ugh, last thing I remember was…" trailing off he froze before palming his face and muttering, "I can't believe I fell for that."

_'This should be good,'_ now Anko was _positive_ that Hinata had something to do with this, "Oh do tell!"

Mumble mumble grouse grouse mumble mumble…

"Sorry, didn't catch that!" Anko chirped… she seemed to be doing that a lot today.

"I said that I was handing a scroll to Team 7 (I recognized them because of Naruto), when the pink haired one said "Hey look! A distraction!" next thing I know you're waking me up."

Silence

Sota started getting nervous as Anko stared at him.

Wait for it…

"Um, Anko?"

Wait for it…

"A distraction..." Anko repeated, just before she collapsed to the ground laughing like a maniac.

There it is.

* * *

_**Meanwhile in the forest**_

A team of Konoha gennin were leaping through the sub-canopy of the forest in search of an easy catch and it would seem that Lady Luck was on their side.

Suddenly the one in front signaled for the other two to stop while pointing bellow them to where one of the rookie teams having a little pow wow in the middle of a clearing.

"So Hanabi how are things with you and your boy-"

"Finish that and I really will let Oni-chan play with you Kibble," the girl growled causing the boy who had spoken to throw his hands up in a sign of surrender.

"Wow, these kids really are greenhorns, standing out in the open like that," one of them sneered.

Ever heard that if it seems too good to be true that it probably is?

It was at that moment that the girl, Hanabi, turned to the boy in the sunglasses, "What do you think, quiet and cruel or loud and embarrassing?"

This confused the team in the trees. What the hell kind of question was that? Quiet and cruel? Loud and embarrassing? Just what the fuck were these twerps talking about?

The boy seemed to consider for a moment before saying, "Quiet and cruel," making the girl chuckle.

"I should have guessed," she said before tossing three shuriken in a seemingly random direction.

_Snap! Snap! Snap!_

As three trap lines snapped.

_Thwap! Thwap! Thwap!_

As three well placed branches whipped up striking their respective targets.

_Thump! Thump! Thump!_

As the three boys hit the ground clutching their genitalia.

It would seem that this particular team had never learned that Lady Luck favors the prepared.

* * *

_**Elsewhere**_

Team 7 was currently hauling ass toward the tower while Hinata and Sasuke used their respective Doujutsu to ensure that nobody got the drop on them. There had been a minor incident with a Rain gennin that had started following them but they steamrolled him in a matter of seconds, other than that things were going swimmingly. They had the scrolls they needed to pass the exam as well as spares in case they needed to appease or barter with another team or whatever else may come up. It seemed they were dealing with the later at the moment.

"We have a kusa nin closing in fast from our 5 o'clock, they have way more chakra than any normal gennin," Hinata spoke.

"God damn it!" Sasuke cursed quietly, "It's never simple where we're concerned is it?"

"For once I'm inclined to agree with you," Sakura responded while looking over her shoulder at Hinata, "Is this guy at least alone?" Hinata nodded drawing as sigh of relief from Sakura, "Thank the kami for little mercies."

"I'm not sure how much that will help us…" Sasuke muttered before calling to Hinata, "How far out are they?"

"Not far," Hinata replied with a scowl, "I suspect they'll catch up with us in a matter of minutes if we keep up this pace."

"Shit, Sakura you have any ideas?"

"Sic, Naruto on them?"

"…"

"…"

"We honestly forgot that we have a jinchuuriki didn't we," Hinata muttered.

"Yes, yes I believe we did," Sasuke confirmed.

"They forgost me," Naruto pouted.

"No, Naruto they didn't forget you they just forgot that under that lovable and almost illegally cute exterior is a powerhouse capable of causing untold amounts of chaos, destruction, and fangirlish squees," Sakura said… somehow managing to keep a straight face. Either way it cheered Naruto right up, "So sic Naruto on the poor bastard while we run interference?"

"Either way we're out of time," Hinata said bringing the group to an abrupt halt-and-about-face. "10 o'clock high!"

"Kukuku, so you _did_ know I was coming," said a dark haired ninja wearing a Kusa hitai-ate, "I wondered what you were talking about, so discussing how to handle me, hm?"

His only answer was a phrase that seemed to be gaining popularity of late.

"Naruto, sic'm!"

Instantly Naruto seemed to disappear, reappearing to take a clawed swipe at the surprised grass nin who just barley managed to dodge the claws only to be caught by a follow through from one of Naruto's tails sending him crashing into a tree where he seemed to explode in a shower of mud.

"Naruto! 7 o'clock low!" Hinata barked.

"Impressive," spoke the grass nin as he came out of the shadows attempting to kick Naruto in the head only to be forced to dodge another series of tail swipes. "I'd expected as much from the Jinchuuriki but I hadn't expected such a partnership with his keeper," the mysterious nin said with a smile only for it to vanish in the next instant as he was forced to throw himself to the side in order to dodge a strike from behind and watch with wide eyes as his former position was destroyed under the pink haired girl's fist.

"You'll find we're just full of surprises," Sakura said with an absolutely wicked smirk which confused the strange ninja, or at least it did until he was sent flying into a tree by a vicious tail swipe.

'_A distraction!'_ the ninja realized, _'While the Hyuuga helps direct the jinchuuriki the other two attack peripherally to draw my attention away from the real threat,' _the ninja thought impressed despite himself as he dodged a series of fireballs. _'However it is not the team I'm here for…_' he thought as what seemed to be purple fire started to gather around his finger tips before suddenly shooting forward managing to catch Naruto off guard and drive his fingers into into the boy's gut.

In what felt like slow motion to Team 7 Naruto seemed to sway on the spot before toppling limply off the branch and disappearing into the dark depths of the forest.

"Naruto…" Hinata muttered dazedly as she made to go after her partner only to be stopped cold as she and the others were assaulted by a paralyzing amount of killer intent.

Poor Sakura having very little experience with killer intent was forced to her hands and knees, emptying the contents of her stomach onto the branch in front of her.

_'He beat Naruto; we don't stand a chance against this guy!'_ Sasuke thought, "W-who the hell are y-you," he managed through the fear induced haze while frantically taking in their situation and searching for an out.

"Me? I'm Orochimaru," was the ninja's calm, almost bored, reply, "I must say I'm impressed, still able to function at all after while under the effects of Shikumi no jutsu is no small feat for a gennin…" he continued while pulling out a brace of kunai.

Seeing this Sasuke started to become frantic, glancing at his teammates he was about to force himself to stab himself to move when he noticed something that made him freeze up, something he had only ever seen once before, something truly terrifying.

"However, it matters little," he finished making to release the kunai toward their heads.

Thinking fast Sasuke bit his lip before grabbing Sakura and leaping out of harms way… he wouldn't have to worry about Hinata.

"_Die_," that one word, spoken so coldly that it made even Orochimaru shiver, was the only warning the old sennin received as Hinata appeared in front of him palm extended to end his life…tears running down her snarling face.

At that moment a memory from just months ago flashed across Sasuke's vision superimposed on the scene before him of a Hinata with the same expression attacking Kakashi…

**Flashback**

* * *

_"__**Magen: Nise no Kinen-butsu**__," he spoke with the air of one commenting on the weather, "quite useful on those who fear the loss of another."_

* * *

**End Flashback**

_'Naruto,'_ Sasuke realized as his eyes were drawn to where the young jinchuuriki had vanished into the bowels of the forest, it was Naruto that Hinata had seen in the genjutsu during the bell test.

Meanwhile Orochimaru was facing the one thing that he was truly afraid of, an enemy that he did not understand, something that he had encountered only once before when he had made the mistake of pissing off Namikaze Minato. Nothing about this made any sense. This girl shouldn't be this powerful and yet he was on the defensive, running from blows that could potentially kill or cripple him. He had decades more experience but no matter what he tried she was right in front of him, attacking in a continuous rain of potentially deadly blows. She was crying yet somehow it only seemed to feed the sense of irrational fear. IT MADE NO SENSE! She was a gennin at least forty years his junior, he had fought in two wars, he wasn't even fighting seriously for gods sake! Logically he had no reason what so ever to be afraid! But still, for reasons he did not understand something about this girl made him uneasy… and that was unacceptable.

For a few moments longer the murderous dance between the Hyuuga heiress and the Snake Sage continued before his stance suddenly changed and he forced her back. Using the space he had created Orochimaru quickly summoned Kusanagi no Tsurugi from his throat bringing it down with the intention to cleave the girl in two but once again his intent would not be realized.

If Orochimaru had been afraid of the Hyuuga girl, the sight that met him as his sword was halted terrified him. Crouched before him, his hair now a bloody red and wreathed in an aura of malice, with Kusanagi's blade clutched in his bare hand was the boy he was sure he'd defeated just moments ago.

* * *

_**Sasuke's Apartment**_

On Sasuke's bedside table a small screen came to life, the words on it read, _Rob Zombie: Superbeast_.

* * *

"RAAAAAH!" with a chakra infused roar Naruto blasted Orochimaru away.

'_What's going on!'_ Orochimaru panicked as he tumbled through the air, _'That seal should have cut him off from the Kyuubi's power not made him stronger!_' but the former member of the Sannin had little time contemplate this problem as Naruto appeared in front of him fist cocked back to deliver a stone crushing blow _'Shit!'_ he thought performing a hasty Kawarimi.

No sooner had he reappeared then Orochimaru noticed something that nearly made his heart stop, the boy was looking right at him, _'How the…' _the boy shouldn't have been able to track his movements that quickly! _'What is he doing?' _the boy was gathering an unfathomable amount of chakra that was condensing into a compressed ball in front of his face._ '…Oh that can't be good,'_ the rouge sennin thought as he bit both thumbs and immediately began a string of hand seals.

"RAAH!" Naruto roared as he released the ball of stored energy toward his opponent.

"Sanjuu Rashoumon!" Orochimaru called, slamming both palms into the ground summoning the three walls that made up his ultimate defense.

**BOOOOOM!**

The resulting shockwave that tore through the forest was enormous. Most everything in the immediate area was completely destroyed resulting in a crater more than a hundred meters in diameter. The forest outside the immediate blast radius looked as though it had just weathered a hurricane, and just out of the radius the two combatants stood watching each other from opposite sides of the crater.

Assessing the situation Orochimaru came to one conclusion, _'I must retreat, if Konoha was not already aware of my presence this will most certainly draw their attention…' _Orochimaru thought as he began to sink into the ground, _'…it would seem this round goes to you boy.'_

Feeling more than seeing his opponent disappear Naruto released a roar of triumph that shook the Forest of Death for miles around.

* * *

**Omake: Mini-Me**

_**By: EDelta88**_

_**Inspired By: **__**Sgt. Nolisten**_

"**You never did answer me."**

_'What are you talking about?'_ Sakura asked as they continued following Anko to Area 44.

**"Why is it that two of the dweebiest chunnin around have mini-mes and yet WE do not?"**

_'…are you serious?' _Sakura asked, clearly not believing what she was hearing… thinking?

**"Like a heart attack."**

_'Sigh…'_

**"Well?"**

_'You do realize that those were probably Izumo and Kotetsu, right? Sasuke did say those guys were using henge.'_

**"The point still stands, why don't we have a mini-me?"** her inner persona argued.

_'Probably because I never thought about it,'_ Sakura snapped hoping her other self would drop the subject… she had no such luck.

**"Well we're thinking now,"** Inner Sakura replied in a stubborn tone that would put a mountain to shame.

_'…You're not going to drop this, are you,'_ it was more a statement of fact.

**"You better believe it sister!"**

_'Sigh, alright you win we'll get a mini-me…'_

**"SCORE!"**

_'…but we're doing this _my_ way.'_

**"Kill joy."**

_'Drama Queen.'_

**"AND PROUD OF IT! SHANNARO!"**

_'Moving on… who should we get?'_

Striking a thinking pose, **"Well, she'll have to be smaller then us…"**

_'You don't say,'_ Sakura muttered sarcastically.

**"…and she'll have to have naturally pink hair…"**

_'Well that narrows it down…a lot.'_

**"And she has to think that we are the best thing since sliced bread,"** Inner Sakura concluded.

_'That doesn't leave many candidates, I mean there aren't that many people with pink hair, I guess we could use my sister but that seems a little cliche.'_

**"Well there is that one girl in Konohamaru's class."**

'_Wait you aren't thinking of -'_

**"Yachiru,"** Inner Sakura finished.

_'…Damn.'_

**"Oh come on she's not that bad."**

_'Not that bad? NOT THAT BAD?'_

**"I think you're overreacting a little."**

'_THAT HELLION IS MORE HYPER THEN NARUTO WAS ON A SUGAR HIGH AND A CAFFINE DRIP!'_

**"…Okay so she is that bad but she's also very entertaining, worships the ground we walk on, and we could sic her on Sasuke."**

_'…I'm listening.'_

And thus did Sakura's quest for a mini-me begins…poor Sasuke.

* * *

**Omake: The Vulcan Neck Pinch**

_**By: EDelta88**_

_**Inspired By: He Who Spoke, a.k.a. The Muse**_

"Hey look! A distraction!" Sakura cried.

In the next moment Hinata dropped the first chunnin while Sasuke used a pressure point to knock the other out… or at least he tried to.

"What are you doing?"

"The Vulcan Neck Pinch?"

"No you idiot, it's lower, toward the base of the neck."

"Like… that?"

"Yeah! That's-" thwup.

"…Thanks," he said before turning and picking up some extra scrolls. As he was about to leave he paused, then looked back at the chunnin, "…Thanks again," turning around Sasuke found Sakura staring at the now unconscious guard.

Never taking her eyes off the downed chunnin, "…Well that was interesting."

* * *

**Omake: Hairball **

_**By: Sir Trib the Bold**_

No sooner had he reappeared then Orochimaru noticed something that nearly made his heart stop, the boy was looking right at him,_ 'How the…what is he doing?'_ the boy was gathering an unfathomable amount of chakra that was condensing into a compressed ball in front of his face._ '…Oh that can't be good,'_ the rouge sennin thought as he bit both thumbs and immediately began a string of hand seals.

"HAAAAAAAACK!" Naruto choked as he released the ball of grease and hair toward his opponent.

"Sanjuu Rashoumon!" Orochimaru called, slamming both palms into the ground summoning the three walls that made up his ultimate defense. "Wait, what?"

* * *

**End Notes**

Sorry this took so long everyone, a combination of summer distractions, the muse being AWOL, and an incredibly irritating case of writer's block (you know that kind where you know exactly what you _want_ to write but you just can't seem to write it) slowed me down more than I'd expected.

Like I said before I'm accepting ideas for omake those of you who inspire/write one will be given credit, the two from this chp are from my muse and a buddy from my challenge form (still looking for people to take those challenges by the way).

Also to warn you guys now I'm going to focus on Who's the Hostage for awhile, at least until I get a chp up.

Edit: anyone freaking out about me not updating the next chp is almost done I just need to do some fine tuning, fair warning it will be short.

* * *

**Cliff notes**

1) Yes 300 km² is the roughly the actual size of the Forest of death, it's about 10km from the fence to the tower and is a circle, the area of a circle is pi times the radius squared, do the math and boom 314.

2) Note that in ancient Japan was polytheistic, so when Sakura said "Thank the kami" it was "thank the gods"

3) A tsurugi is a double bladed sword similar to most stereotypically western medieval swords.

4) and just because this comes up so often in fandom and it's really starting to piss me off:

Sennin: sage/hermit

Sannin: three ninja, a nickname given to Team Hiruzen by Salamander Hanzo of Amegakure

* * *

**Muse Rant**

Well this is just great, Delta's pumping out chps, making crazy awesome challenges left and right, going to college, and is pretending to be my part time psychologist... I feel so inadequate

**No that's just the burnt out feeling from being Sr. stage crew and actually being responsible for something**

...there's that too

**Must you be so depressing?**

Yes

**...**

...What's with the look

**...**

Seriously what's wrong with you

**...**

Ok Delta you're really starting to freak me out

**...**

You're just doing this to screw with me aren't you

**...**


	16. Reflections on the Unforeseen

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, and

* * *

**Chp 16: Reflections on the Unforeseen  
**

_**Training Ground 44**_

As the gathered gennin stood listening to the Sandaime's speech about the true purpose of the Chunnin Exams Hinata's mind was on anything but his words. So far away was she that she hadn't even noticed that the proctor had arrived and explaining the next stage of the exam.

'_When did everything get so crazy?'_ she wondered, rubbing the junction of her neck and shoulder.

It seemed to Hinata that after their encounter with Orochimaru everything had become a blur of confusion and only now, four days later, was everything starting to sink in. They had been in awe of what Naruto had done. Really who wouldn't? After all he had just forced Orochimaru, who had been a candidate for Yondaime and was arguably the strongest of the Densetsu no Sannin, to retreat. They had just stood there dumbfounded and then Naruto had turned toward them…

**Flashback**

* * *

_ As Naruto stalked toward them Team 7 was forced to its knees by the overwhelming aura of power still surrounding him._

_ Closer and closer he came and they were frozen._

_ Closer and closer and they felt sick, not knowing what to do._

_ Closer and closer and he walked past Sakura and Sasuke._

_ Slowly, ever so slowly, Naruto prowled to Hinata his demonic eyes boring into hers, closer and closer until she could feel his breath on her lips. For a second he stood before her searching her eyes for something only he could find. Then agonizingly slowly he drew even closer his cheek brushing hers and sank his fangs into her flesh._

* * *

**End Flashback**

She continued to rub the tender mark that Naruto had left on the left side of her neck as she made her way to the observation level, it was strange really, it had only hurt for a second then the pain had given way to an odd warmth, she didn't really know how to describe it, it felt…nice? Maybe that was the word for it.

Vaguely aware of Sasuke running circles around some kid in purple she thought about the mark itself, she'd been too shell-shocked at the time and too distracted with the mad dash for the tower to really understand how significant it might be. Then when they had actually made it to the tower she'd been too exhausted to think and had simply crawled into one of the beds provided and fallen asleep right after Kakashi debriefed them.

The next morning she'd woken up with Naruto curled around her, which really should have been her first clue, Naruto had _never_ come into her bed before. It had always been her who had gone to him in the past like when she had slept in his cage or when Hanabi had swiped her bedroll during the wave mission. But alas she was still too out of sorts to think things through clearly.

In hindsight that wasn't the only thing that had been off about Naruto in the past few days but again she had been fairly out of it.

The most obvious change to someone who hadn't know Naruto, and the one that baffled Hinata the most, was Naruto's hair. She had noticed before the first exam that his hair had been orange which was odd because she remembered it being more reddish then after Orochimaru had hit him in the stomach his hair had become completely red. What it meant or why it had happened she had no idea, she had to get Jiraiya to look at the seal anyway as she expected that Orochimaru had done something to it so she just bring it to his attention then.

The most drastic and telling change though was his behavior. He'd reverted to his behavior from before he came to live with her, she'd even go so far to say that he'd was even more animalistic then he had been back then. He barely talked now and when he did it was mostly monosyllabic or someone's name. He was also more possessive and protective of her, he'd actually growled as Sasuke when he'd gotten too close. He was also more affectionate then he used to be, it was subtle but it was there, staying closer then usual, brushing up against her, once he had even nuzzled her neck when they had been lying on her bed.

It hadn't really hit her until yesterday, when she had been remembering some of the research she'd done back when Naruto had first come to live with her and was still more animalistic, foxes mark their mates with a bite.

It was at that moment that everything had come together, him sleeping with her, how he'd seemed to be more possessive of her the last few days, the bite, all of it, Naruto had claimed her.

"Hina-chan?" Naruto asked bringing her out of her reverie; evidently her silence had worried him.

She smiled as he mispronounced her name. That was another thing, he didn't call her "Beta" anymore. It made sense really, after all she wasn't his second anymore… she was his.

Looking around she blinked, how long had she been out of it? From the looks of it she'd missed several matches if the absence of Kabuto's teammates and the sound boy was any indication but why was everything so quiet? Deciding that her pondering could wait till after the matches she glanced at the selection screen.

Yamanaka Ino vs Haruno Sakura

'…_Well this should be interesting.'_

* * *

**End Notes**

Yes I know it's short, get used to it the next few chps are going to be this way until I'm done with the prelims.

Edited: 11/27/09

* * *

**Muse Rant**

ASSASSIN'S CREED 2 IS THE SHIT!!!

**Indeed, tis bitch'n, but that has nothing to do with the fic**

Well there's not much to go on this chp now is there

…**I suppose you do have a point**

So what should we do?

**How 'bout a joke?**

Sounds good

**So the Pope, a Rabi, and the Archbishop of Canterbury walk into a bar…**

And?

**That's the joke**

...

**Want to hear a dirty joke?**

Why not

**A guy jumped in some mud. Want to hear a clean joke?**

…sure

**He took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear another dirty joke?**

Ok

**Bubbles was the girl next door.**


	17. Piggy vs Pinky

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, and graphic imagery

* * *

**Chp 17: Piggy vs Pinky**

_**Training Ground 44**_

"Haruno Sakura versus Yamanaka Ino, BEGIN!" Hayate called before jumping away from the two combatants.

Nothing happened, for the longest time they just stood there staring at eachother until…

"So," Sakura began, "How do we want to do this?"

"Rock, Paper, Scissors?" Ino suggested.

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Yeah because that's such a fair way to decide it," she commented sarcastically.

Up in the stands Kiba wondered, "How can rock, paper, scissors _not_ be fair?"

"They've known eachother for so long that Ino found a way to read Sakura for which one she'll pick so Ino always wins," Shikamaru answered, "Besides, this is just playful banter, they already know what they're going to do," _'They don't need to know that it's a variation of one of her families spying techniques that allows her to read intention to some extent,' _he added silently.

Back on the floor Ino struck a mock thinking pose, "No holds barred?"

With a grin stolen from the cat that ate the canary Sakura nodded, "No holds barred."

With that the two girls turned away from eachother and began repositioning their respective ninja gear and discarding what they weren't going to need or use.

"So troublesome…" Shikamaru grumbled pinching the bridge of his nose.

"And what do you find so "troublesome" about _this_, Shikamaru?" Asuma asked.

"For those of you who don't already know what's about to happen," at this all of the observing rookies minus Sasuke snickered, "you all have front row seats to witness why there is a standing order at the Academy to never match Sakura and Ino in a spar."

Then, as though to emphasize Shikamaru's statement, Sakura took off her ever present backpack (read personal library) letting it fall to the floor with the force of a small meteor creating a crater nearly three meters in diameter.

"Huh, last time she threw it," Hinata muttered remembering how Sakura had destroyed a large section of several walls when she had started the Academy spar by throwing her backpack at Ino.

To say the spectators, most of the rookies excluded, were stunned would be a gross understatement.

The general reaction of the foreign ninja consisted mostly of some combination and a varied selection expletives (one muttered "Not another one") while the sentiments from the home crowd were a little more varied.

"…How did I miss that?" Sasuke wondered. How exactly _had_ he missed something like that? Was he sick the last time they sparred without restrictions?

Sarutobi was lost in fond memories both girls' childhood and those of another promising short tempered Kunoichi.

Most of the Jounin were simply struck dumb, they'd thought Kakashi was exaggerating when he'd described how strong Sakura was.

Kakashi just grumbled, "I told them but does anyone listen to Kakashi? Nooo of course not, why would they do that…"

Gai and Lee… well suffice it to say that it was very in character, consisting of loud proclamations of youth, manly hugs, admiration for Sakura's spirit, hugs, ridiculous boasts that they would most likely follow up on, more hugs, the dreaded Ocean and Sunset genjutsu, and of course more hugs.

Meanwhile Sakura and Ino were ready to begin, "On three?" Sakura asked slipping on a pair of leather gloves.

Ino nodded, "On three."

"Ready…" Sakura said as they both assumed their respective stances.

"THREE!" they shouted together launching forward to attack, Sakura with her fists and Ino with a pair of Kunai.

What followed could only be described as a vicious yet oddly beautiful dance. Whether it was because they were both particularly skilled in evasion or they just knew eachother that well neither seemed to be able to land a hit because the other would move out of the way before the blow could find purchase.

Jab

Swipe

Left Hook

Stab

Backhand

Cross Slash

Roundhouse

On and on it went the deadly dance of dodge, strike, and dodge again.

"Holy shit! Are they trying to kill eachother?" Kiba muttered.

"Nope, they're just warming up," Hanabi chirped as Sakura sank her fist into the concrete wall where Ino had been a moment before.

_'This is a warm up?'_ Kankuro wondered as he moved closer to the more Konoha dominated section of the observation level so that he could hear better, _'What the hell were they feeding these kids?'_

"HA!" Sakura cried as she came down with an Axe Kick that would have crippled Ino for life if she hadn't dodged at the last second, the sizable crater left by her food was evidence enough of that.

BOOM!

A large section of the floor disappeared as Sakura was force to leap out of the blast radius of Ino's exploding note only to dive into the smoke afterward.

A second later Ino was ducking under a brace of shuriken only to find another set following just behind them at her adjusted height forcing her to block with her kunai.

Crack

"Shit!" Ino cursed, rolling to the side just as Sakura burst from the ground throwing an uppercut that would have no doubt shattered Ino's jaw only for Sakura to change tactics mid-motion and fire a piece of the ruble she'd just created with pinpoint accuracy at Ino's back.

Poof

"Kawarimi," Sakura muttered as Ino disappeared. The next second she was forced to duck under a swipe from one of Ino's kunai before she used the motion to move into a reverse leg sweep only for Ino to back flip away loosing one of her kunai at Sakura as she went.

There was another poof as Sakura was replaced by a piece of ruble appearing on Ino's left with her fist cocked back as she went for a Straight Right.

Ino ducked to the side attempting a Counter Slash to Sakura's midsection.

Sakura lent out of the way before coming back with a Left Cross.

Slipping the punch Ino slid inside Sakura's guard attempting to elbow her in the chin only for Sakura to lean backwards out of the way while simultaneously bringing her knee up into Ino's gut before following it up with a downward punch that would drive Ino into the concrete and end the match.

Poof

Even though her finisher had missed Sakura smiled as she glanced at the now gasping Ino who was now across the arena clutching her stomach, "First blood's mine Piggy."

"Well… if you want… to get technical," Ino wheezed, "first _blood_ is mine," she finished holding up her slightly bloody kunai for emphasis.

Feeling the sting on her cheek Sakura scowled, "Fine then, we'll call it a draw," before charging Ino while making hand seals.

"Oh shit," Ino muttered as she recognized the seal combination and started backpedaling.

"What's she so worried about?" Kankuro asked, "It's just… bunshin?" his statement turned into a question as Sakura finished the hand seals but no illusionary clones appeared. His question was answered a moment later when Sakura caught up to Ino and suddenly split into six different attacks, "Holy shit! She superimposed them!?" he cried as the different Sakuras continued to move in and out of eachother in confusing patterns as they attacked.

'_Bunshin Superimposition,'_ Anko thought approvingly as the clones and Sakura merged into one person before splitting apart again a second later, _'Simplistic genius turning one of the most basic techniques of our trade into an extremely deadly variation… hard as hell to pull off though with all the concentration it takes, still don't know how she does it on the fly.'_

What Anko didn't know was that Sakura's Inner Persona allowed her to split her concentration essentially giving her the processing power of two separate people.

'_That was… incredibly helpful actually…maybe having a voice in my head isn't so bad?'_

Back on the lower level Ino had palmed a pair of smoke bombs and was waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

_'NOW!'_ she thought throwing the little balls to the ground as Sakura got close consuming both of them in a cloud of purple smoke.

There were several seconds worth of scuffling before they stopped and everyone waited for the smoke to clear. When it did it revealed a stalemate, Sakura had Ino by the neck and could snap it with a twitch of her wrist while Ino had kunai to Sakura's jugular and both scowling at not getting an advantage over the other.

"Round two?" Sakura asked.

"Round two," Ino agreed, nodding her head as much as she could with Sakura's hand still around her throat.

And with that the two friends broke apart to begin their battle anew.

At this point Kankuro, who had by this time moved so that he was standing with Team 10, turned to Shikamaru, "Are all the women in this village scary or is it just this group?" he asked remembering the three separate incidents involving Hinata (that he knew about) during and before the Exam, then the way these two supposed best friends (from what he could tell) happily tried to kill eachother... it made him nervous.

"I'd like to think it's just them but then my mother knocks me out of my bed with a frying pan," Shikamaru replied in a tone that clearly stated that he wasn't kidding.

Hearing this Kankuro returned his attention to the two girls who were turning the arena into a war zone, _'I need to give some serious thought to my involvement in the invasion,' _he decided, _'That Jinchuuriki was one thing but if this is what I can expect from gennin…'_

* * *

**End Notes**

Ok sorry about the long wait… a few things kind of came up. In my defense this fic has gone well and beyond what I originally meant it for, originally this was just supposed to be a crack fic to get me started and then I was going to move on to one of my more serious ideas but it was so well received that well... this happened. Quite frankly I didn't have all that much planned for it so I've ended up making it up as I went and I've hit the point where I can't just toss stuff out anymore.

* * *

**Muse Rant**

To expand on Delta's horribly simplified explanation for the delay: he actually got a life, his hours got jacked up at work, he found several good books that will remain unnamed, and he finally got a girlfriend thus proving that he is not gay (all bets can be collected at the end of the week).

**I wasn't that bad**

…_Really!?_

…**you suck**

*Final Fantasy 7 victory music plays in the background*

…

…did I just win?

…

HOLY SHIT! I JUST WON!

…**this time**

VICTORY IS MINE!


	18. Rivalry, Rage, and Retribution

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, graphic imagery, and, making their long awaited cameo, clowns

* * *

**Chp 18: Rivalry, Rage, and Retribution**

_**Training Ground 44**_

Slash

Duck

Uppercut

Dodge

Stab

Back Handspring

Boom

Kawarimi

Ax kick

Roll

The spectators could only watch in morbid fascination as Ino and Sakura continued to dance around their personal war zone, lost in their heated rivalry, ignoring their wounds and fatigue as each strove to outmaneuver the other, each pushing for that one moment that would grant them the advantage in their struggle for dominance.

Slip a punch, lead into straight jab.

Side step straight jab, use motion to continue into a cross slash.

Trap blade between palms, pull opponent into a side kick.

Drop into backward roll to avoid side kick, throw shuriken to prevent pursuit.

Use stolen kunai to deflect shuriken, throw kunai to distract in order to close the distance.

"They are quite… persistent," Kurenai commented, not sure whether it would be appropriate to approve. While she admired the competitive spirit and enthusiasm of their rivalry, and the fact that they weren't raging fan girls like so many young kunoichi these days, the level of lethality they were using seemed… excessive.

"Such passion, it's so… inspiring!" Lee wailed, crying tears of admiration.

"Indeed my adorable student," Gai sniffed, loudly blowing his nose on a hanky that he pulled out of nowhere as Sakura grabbed the straps of her discarded pack.

"SHANNARO!" the pink haired girl cried, wielding the bag like a flail as she brought it over her head swinging it down into a vicious hammer strike shattering the concrete where Ino had been a moment before.

'_Too close,'_ Ino thought as she continued to backpedal out of the way of a follow-up roundhouse kick that would have taken her head off.

Continuing her rotation the pink haired girl brought her bag around at hip level.

As Ino jumped out of range she suddenly had to sidestep Sakura's flying backpack, "Oh come on Forehead! You know that won't work on…me?" her voice trailed off as she noticed Sakura had formed the tora seal, _'Shit.'_

_BOOM!_

"Checkmate Piggy," Sakura muttered as her backpack exploded launching Ino back toward her and into her waiting fist.

_WHAM!_

"Winner by knock out, Haruno Sakura!" Hayate called.

"Why'd she destroy her pack, I thought she was proud of her collection?" Sasuke asked confusedly as the medics checked Ino and Sakura.

"Why Sasuke, you do care!" Kakashi teased.

"Hn? You say something Kakashi-sensei?" causing the entire room to freeze.

One of the assisting chunnin glanced over to Anko, "Did he just…?"

"Yes, yes he did," Anko snickered as sounds of suppressed mirth filled the room.

"Oh ho! It seems you have fallen victim to your own hippness my eternal rival!" Gai crowed, looking more than a little pleased.

No answer.

"What nothing to say? Struck dumb by the turnabout?" Gai gloated.

No answer.

"Kakashi?" he asked, taking a closer look at the other jounin only to find that he was staring at Sasuke with total adoration and hadn't heard a word he'd said.

Silence...

Anko smirked, "Three… two… one…"

**"DAMN YOU KAKASHIIIIII!"**

Meanwhile Chibi-Kakashi was prancing around Kakashi's mind waving flags proclaiming, "Best students EVER!"

Shaking her head Hinata turned to Sasuke, "She switched to her survival pack for the exam, and the self-destruct feature she included has a summoning array attached so that when she activates it everything in the pack gets summoned to her bedroom," Hinata explained, finishing as Sakura and Ino, freshly revived, came up the stairs.

"Giving away my secrets?" Sakura accused teasingly as the board displayed the next match.

Akamichi Chouji vs Tsuchi Kin

"Looks like you're up kido," Asuma spoke, pulling out a pack of his favorite cigarettes.

"I don't wanna," Chouji mumbled.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered as Ino turned bright red.

"What do you mean you don't wanna! We just spent the last six days getting to this point and you're just going to quit!" Ino raged.

"I don't wanna," Chouji repeated stubbornly.

"How 'bout this," Asuma sighed, already mourning his bank account, "Just go out there and do your best and when this is all over I'll-" but whatever it was that Asuma would do to bribe Chouji would have to wait as he was interrupted by Chouji's impatient opponent, though for most it wasn't too hard to guess how he had planned to bribe the little Akamichi.

"You coming or what fat ass?" Kin called from the floor.

Chouji froze, "What did she just say?"

"I said, are you going to haul your lard ass down here and fight me or are you just going to sit up there and stuff your face?" the young kunoichi sneered.

"Troublesome, that girl is screwed," Shikamaru muttered as Chouji spun on his heel and marched purposefully down the stairs.

"Yes, yes she is," Hinata agreed.

"Poor kid," Asuma muttered as he lit up a cigarette.

"Must you do that here?" Kurenai complained, "And what makes you so sure that that girl is going to lose?" she asked as Hayate got the two combatants into position.

"She called Chouji fat," Ino said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why would that be-"

"**NIKUDAN HARI SENSHA!" **

"…Oh my," said a wide eyed Kurenai as the boy come rolling-spiked-ball-of-death-pain-and-pointy chased the girl around the arena.

_SLAM_

"I don't know whether I should be amazed or terrified," Kiba muttered.

_CRASH_

"…Yeah I think I'm gonna go with terrified."

_BANG_

"Note to self: never call Chouji fat," Sasuke muttered, his skin slightly paler than usual.

_BOOM_

"Indeed," Shino agreed as the sound girl dodged Chouji yet again, just barely avoiding becoming a smear on the wall he had just destroyed.

"**BUBUN BAIKA NO JUTSU!"**

"Who knew Chouji could be so scary," said a slightly green Hanabi.

_WHAM_

"I know, right?" Ino said, smiling as Chouji tried to swat the sound girl like an oversized fly.

_WHAM_

"It's always the quiet ones," Kakashi mused.

"**BAIKA NO JUTSU!"**

"Perhaps I should sign him up for some anger management classes," Asuma muttered as the now two-story Akamichi started to stomp and kick at the sound girl.

_CRUNCH_

"I don't think that would be very effective, I'm reasonably sure that this reaction is hard wired into the Akamichi," Kakashi said, nodding sagely.

_STOMP_

"I suppose you're right, and it's not exactly a bad thing," Asuma admitted as Kin's luck finally ran out.

"**CHO HARITE!"**

_BOOOOM_

"Winner Akamichi Chouji, now would the medics please peel that girl off my floor?" the proctor called as the board started flashing names.

"Nice work Chouji!" Ino cheered.

"I'm hungry," Chouji pouted, causing everyone to burst out laughing as the board started flashing through the names of the remaining gennin.

Hyuuga Hinata vs Inuzuka Kiba

Seeing this Hinata frowned, _'With Naruto's current state of mind I probably shouldn't risk any kind of confrontation between him and Kiba, Naruto might overreact,' _she thought. Kneeling down to Naruto's level she looked him in the eye, "Naruto, I'm going to fight with Kiba, I need you to stay out of this ok?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously as his ears pulled flush to his head and his lips curled back in a silent snarl, obviously not liking what he was hearing.

"Naruto calm down, I'll be fine, but you need to stay up here, ok?"

A low menacing hum in Naruto's chest proclaimed that, as far as he was concerned, this was most certainly _not_ ok.

"Naruto…" Hinata spoke, her voice firm and commanding.

Though obviously still agitated the young Jinchuuriki lowered himself to a relaxed position on his stomach signaling his compliance, though it did not escape any of the Jounin that the boy's eyes never left Kiba as Hinata made her way down to the floor.

"I still don't get it," Kiba grumbled, glaring up at the observation level, either not noticing or not caring that his voice carried throughout the room. "What does he have that I don't?" he asked turning to Hinata.

"What?" Hinata asked, why was he bringing this up now.

"Don't try to deny it, I can smell him all over you."

"Excuse me?" Hinata asked sharply, not liking what he was implying.

"You're into the whole bestiality thing, I get that, but-"

Suddenly everything came to a screeching halt as the temperature in the area plummeted.

Kakashi palmed his face "Wrong move sparky," he sighed into the oppressing silence that had followed the young Inuzuka's remark. He was starting to wonder if Kiba had short term memory issues considering the boy had a front row seat to Hinata's systematic humiliation of the Torture & Interrogation Director not even a week ago.

"Start. The. Match." Hinata hissed, glaring at Kiba with a look that could freeze salt water. She was furious, no she was beyond furious, she was _livid!_ And she knew just how she was going to end this...

**Flashback**

* * *

_"He won't leave me alone!" Hinata cried in exasperation._

"_It's just a crush, if you ignore him long enough he'll give up eventually," Hana replied, amused by the little Hyuuga's frustration with her little brother's attempts to woo her._

"_But isn't there anything I can do to discourage him?" Hinata pleaded._

"_Have you tried telling him that you're not interested?"_

"_Yes! But every time I turn him down he interprets it as "maybe" or "not now" or something."_

_"Hmm… well I suppose I could tell you a way to keep him in line, but you'd have to promise to only use it if he gets really out of hand."_

_Hinata nodded enthusiastically._

_"Alright, if he ever get out of hand, here's what you need to do," Hana said, leaning over to whisper in Hinata's ear._

* * *

**End Flashback**

...but not yet, before she broke him mentally, she was going to break him physically.

"He he he," Kiba chuckled nervously, suddenly feeling like a lamb standing face to face with a starved Tiger. "Aw c-com'on sunshine I was just-"

Unfortunately for Kiba, Hayate had no desire to get between the Hyuuga heiress and

"Hajime-!"

Before Hayate even had a chance to move away from the two combatants Hinata had launched herself in a bust of chakra that further destroyed the already abused arena, catching Kiba's throat with the crook of her elbow in a vicious cloths line, using a variation on an old form of jyuuken to transfer all her momentum into the strike, skipping the unfortunate Inuzuka over the rubble like a stone on a lake.

"Grr," Akamaru's growled lowly as he advanced on Hinata from her left.

Hinata spared the little dog only the barest of glances but in that brief moment she sank her frustration, her anger, and her malice into a single bust of killer intent, freezing the poor ninken where he stood before turning back to Kiba as he painfully picked himself up off the floor.

_'Shit that hurt!'_ he thought, massaging his throat as Hinata advanced on him. Had he not been a ninja that strike would have killed him, as it was he was having trouble breathing... _'Hanabi wasn't kidding when she said Hinata had been experimenting with Jyuuken. _Nothing _about that was gentle.'_ Frowning Kiba quickly went over his situation. Considering what Hanabi had told him and Hinata's opening he could safely assume that Hinata wouldn't be using the kind of Jyuuken he was used to fighting. Hanabi had said that Hinata was a lot stronger that she was in open combat, something Kiba was only marginally better at than his smaller team mate and then only because he was faster and had Akamaru. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he was at a _major_ disadvantage, most likely his only chances of winning were either to catch her off balance or to outlast her. Still on his hands and knees he threw a sloppy tora seal to concentrate a burst of chakra, _'I need to end this fast,'_ he thought, choosing the former as put on a burst of speed throwing his elbow at Hinata's midsection.

Up in the stands Kurenai wanted to slap the boy, "How many times do I have to tell him that engaging a Hyuuga at close range is a bad idea?" she asked herself.

Sliding into a half crouch Hinata slipped under Kiba straightening up as his his elbow passed over her head, burying her knee in his solar-plexus, but she was far from done as she followed the collision with a blinding combination of the most painful strikes she could think of that wouldn't end the match.

Heel Palm Uppercut.

Knife strike to the larynx.

Knee to the groin.

Palm strike to the left floating rib.

Fractures.

Pressure points.

Partial dislocations.

One after the other, never letting up, moving in and out of Kiba's attempts to counterattack with frightening ease.

_'Fuck! This is like fighting a ghost!'_ Kiba thought painfully as he finally managed to get some distance, "Tsuga!" he cried launching himself at Hinata like a clawed tornado.

But it was not to be as Hinata contorted her body to follow Kiba's rotation, snatching his wrist and using his momentum to swing him into the arena floor with crippling force.

"F-huck!" Kiba wheezed, shakily climbing to his feet, he was going down, but he'd be damned if he was going to do it quietly.

"You know, I never thought I'd use this," Hinata whispered, her tone icy and foreboding as she watched Kiba struggle to stand, "but I think Hana will understand."

Hearing his sisters name Kiba froze, confused. What did she have to do with this?

"HENGE!" Hinata cried, a mass of smoke consuming her form as she formed the ram seal.

_'She wouldn't,'_ Kiba thought in horror, taking a nervous step back. Hana wouldn't really do that to him, would she?

"It's just a henge how is that-" Kankuro began only to cut himself off has he remembered the pink haired girl's use of Bunshin no jutsu.

"HIYA KIBA!" Hinata cried in a goofy cheerful voice as she burst from the smoke dressed in full clown garb.

For a moment Kiba didn't react, he simply stood there petrified as he stared at his opponent in abject horror only to let loose a girly shriek of fright before he fainted.

"And just wait 'till I tell your mother," Hinata growled as she released the transformation.

Absolute silence followed.

_'Oh that's cold,'_ Kankuro muttered, shivering at the little heiress' brutality, he would seriously be rethinking his plans for the near future.

* * *

EDITED: 7/22/11

There, I redid the fight with Kiba and no worries, the next chp is almost done

**End Notes**

Sorry for the wait, this was supposed to be out and was all but done _weeks_ ago but between several potent distractions, my muse being less than helpful in regards to writing, my doc and I trying to tweak my meds (we failed), and starting a new job and this sort of fell by the way side. And before any of you who bother to read this bite my head off most of the past few weeks were spent trying and failing to expand on the fight between Hinata and Kiba, as you can see, I was unsuccessful. That said, this is going on my list of scenes to review and revise at a later date so I will be coming back to it at least once, so anyone that has ideas or free time feel free to throw your brilliance at me or write a version of the scene.

Now, by popular demand, I added an ending to the Ino vs Sakura battle (as I hope you noticed). See your reviews do count! Anyway I was originally just going to use the space between chps to imply that they had been fighting for a very long time then end it but since so many of you seemed to want a more satisfying conclusion I took a second look at it and decided you guys were right.

Now, some of you may find Choji's match familiar, and yes it is based on the match from my WoaWS: Akatsuki's Crimson Princess. I'd been debating how I would keep with my "Keep it original" policy for the matches for a while and I always wanted to do something with Choji so I used the idea of Choji vs Kin to see how it was received, generally I got the idea that people liked it so I used it here as well, though slightly more refined.

For anyone that doesn't know, the Cho Harite is the Mega Palm Trust that the Akamichi use while Multisized, basically it's the bitch slap from hell.

And I a shout out to THE HEE-HO KING, Nocontact, and all the rest of you who were wondering about it… How'd you like the clown? XD

* * *

**Muse Rant**

**You're fired**

…what?

**You. Are. Fired. Laid off. Let go. Sent packing. Given the boot. Need I go on?**

Um, why?

**Because you have been less than helpful with my attempts to write since before Christmas.**

Well it's practically all you talk about! And it's always about Naruto! You're… you're Narutarded!

**One, you are the one who got me into Naruto and fanfiction, thus this is your fault and therefore, to some extent, your responsibility. Two, Naruto is a very flexible plotline and thus very easy to manipulate in numerous ways so it makes an excellent outlet for my overactive imagination. Three, I have… five Naruto fics **_**posted**_** so of course I'm going to want to talk about them so that I can FINISH them.**

...You're still a Narutard.

**Ah, but your fault it is. Admit this, you must.**

Shit, not this again.

**Victory, mine it is... again.**

*Final Fantasy VII victory music plays in the back ground*


	19. Pyrrhic Victories

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails **

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, and graphic imagery

Edited: 7/22/11

* * *

**Chp 19: Pyrrhic Victories**

_**Training Ground 44**_

_Hyuuga Hanabi vs Hyuuga Neji_

**"…Oh that can't be good," **Inner Sakura muttered, staring at the board as she voiced the thoughts of anyone who knew Neji.

Neji was already on the floor and waiting, staring balefully at Hanabi as she made her way down the stairs.

"You have something to say, cousin?" Hanabi asked as she came to stand across from him.

"Forfeit," Neji replied simply, as though bored.

Hanabi's brow creased in confusion and irritation, "And why would I do that, cousin?"

"You cannot win," he stated, "better to save us both the trouble and give up now."

"That's funny coming from you!" Hanabi snorted.

For a long moment the two combatants stood very still, glaring across the space between them. Then, as one, both cousins turned in sync to stare expectantly at Hayate.

He didn't need further prompting.

"Hajime!"

In a burst of burst of speed the two prodigies clashed in a storm of motion and chakra, striking and grappling with eachother.

"You can't fool my eyes," Neji spoke over a brief deadlock before they pushed away from eachother.

"And what do your eyes see?" Hanabi asked hoping to distract him as they wove around eachother, trading blows at a furious pace.

"Your gaze wandered to the upper left, then to the lower right" he spoke, following up a leg sweep with a combination meant to disable her arm as she tried counter him, "The first is a sign of remembering the past, the second, generally associated with memories of pain…"

The two combatants jumped away from eachother, pausing as if by some unspoken agreement.

"You are remembering painful memories," he reasoned. "Other days, other battles much like this one where your prodigious skills did not surpass the experience of your opponent."

No one could see Hanabi's face, her bangs having fallen over her features in their exchange.

"You are a child playing ninja, you know this," he whispered, "And with a mindset like that…" he spoke, suddenly closing the distance between them.

Hanabi did not react.

"Your defeat is inevitable!" the Branch House prodigy spoke, thrusting the heel of his palm into Hanabi's chin…

* * *

_**Sasuke's Apartment**_

Suddenly Sasuke's nightstand shook as his MP3 player came to life, "MORTAL COMBAT!" ringing from the ear buds.

* * *

…only for the petite girl to dance out of his reach.

Hanabi was eerily silent as she seemed to glide away from her older cousin like a ghost through mist, dropping into the stance of the gentle fist as her long black hair collected behind her shoulders, unveiling her glacial expression like a mountain from the clouds.

Immediately, Neji and every other person adept in reading a person's body language knew he had crossed a line. Hanabi's face had become completely blank, lacking all life and emotion… a death mask, the face a person took when they intended to utterly destroy their opponent by any means available.

"A child, am I?" she asked, her usually sweet voice sending chills through the room.

Then she charged.

Neji had never seen this side of his normally upbeat and positive cousin. The way she moved, the look in her eyes, her pattern of attack, they were just so… lethal, cold and calculated, truly befitting of a shinobi.

_'This is completely different,'_ Neji thought with grudging respect for his smaller cousin as she forced him to retreat, constantly parrying a continuous barrage of blindingly fast Jyuuken combinations.

"What? Do you think being Hiashi's daughter somehow changes that?" Neji asked, hoping to unbalance her.

"When did I ever say that our positions within the clan had anything to do with this?" Hanabi asked, her voice a deadly monotone. "I couldn't care less about which branch of our family we were born into."

Neji snorted. "So you are fighting simply to be petulant?" he sneered.

"No, I'm fighting you because you insulted my _pride,_" she replied, striking at him like an enraged viper.

"Pride?" Kakashi wondered.

"When he said that her abilities as a prodigy wouldn't cut it," Hinata explained. "He implied that she has only advanced as she has because of the ability she was born with and that the time she spent training was meaningless."

"Nnngh," Neji sighed, annoyed with his opponent as she skipped away from another of his strikes. Why did she insist on prolonging the inevitable? _'This has gone on long enough,'_ he decided, shifting his stance, he hadn't completed the technique yet, but it would be more than enough for this.

"What's wrong Neji? Can't keep up?" Hanabi asked, calmly mocking the older boy when he didn't follow her, not seeing the danger of her situation.

"Oh no," Hinata whispered in horror. "Hanabi!" she cried, but it was already too late.

"…Rokujuyon Sho," Neji whispered, becoming a blur of motion, closing the distance and completing the technique.

"Ack!" Hanabi cried as the force of Neji sent her to the ground, gasping for breath.

"This is the unalterable difference in our strengths, Hanabi-_sama_, the impassable divide that separates the elite from the mundane. From the moment you entered this arena, your defeat was inevitable," Neji spoke.

From her position on the ground, Hanabi stared at Neji, making no attempt to pick herself up.

"Withdraw," Neji ordered.

Hanabi said nothing.

"Withdraw!" commanded Neji.

"No," she whispered, bracing herself against the concrete as she tried to get up.

"Why bother?" Neji sneered, "Your defeat is a forgone conclusion. Withdraw."

"...Fuck... you!" the child prodigy growled through her teeth as she gained her feet.

Neji could only raise an eyebrow at this.

"You...don't...get it," she panted, a mirthless grin splitting her lips. "I…won't… quit!" she cried, lurching forward.

"As you wish," Neji sighed, dropping into his stance, meeting his younger cousin's charge with a flurry of blows that stopped her cold. "You are beaten," he told her, his palm flat to her sternum.

"Kuf!" Hanabi coughed, choking up a fresh gout of blood.

"Withdraw," he repeated.

"Go to hell!" she barked, before spitting a wad of blood in her cousin's face, blinding him.

Hissing in surprise Neji tried to clear his vision only to double over as something connected with his diaphragm, _'What?'_ he wondered, trying to make sense of what had happened as he struggled to breath. _'She should barely be able to stand! How-!'_

_WHAM!_

Something collided with his jaw, knocking him back and stunning him as he blinked the blood and saliva out of his eyes just in time to watch Hanabi's foot bury itself in his groin.

"Arrgh!" he cried, silently cursing himself as he crumpled to the ground. How could he be so careless?

"Divine _that,_ jackass!"

Most of the men in the room winced in sympathy.

"Well, that's what he gets for not taking her seriously," Tenten sighed, as Lee scribbled furiously in his notebook. Where the hell had that come from anyway?

Unfortunately, Neji wasn't done yet.

_'No...no... There is no way in hell that I'm going to lose,'_ Neji seethed, rage in his eyes as he picked himself up; he refused to lose, especially not to Hanabi of all people.

"Oh come on!" Hanabi groaned, "I just balled you like a watermelon!" she cried in frustration.

_'Some of her pathways have righted themselves,'_ Neji thought, once more taking the Jyuuken stance, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

And then the two cousins charged, meeting in a clash of chakra, that under any other circumstances would be beautiful, each landing and evading blows at a furious pace, each driven by their own rage, it wasn't a match anymore…

They were killing eachother.

It seemed like the longest time, as they danced around eachother in a vicious parody of the grace that the Jyuuken was meant to possess.

Then, just as Hanabi threw another palm strike at Neji, he knocked it away with the back of his hand opening up Hanabi's defense but leaving his left side open ever so slightly.

_'There!'_ the two Hyuugas thought, each exploiting the hole other's stance.

Before anyone could react, it was over. Hanabi struck Neji's chest just below his heart in the same instant that Neji struck her sternum.

And then, Hanabi fell.

"His finisher…" Tenten whispered in horror as recognized the Knife Strike shape of his hand.

"Winner Hyuuga Neji!"

Neji smirked; he'd won…

"Gack!" Neji gagged, surprise written all over his face as blood pooled in his mouth. _'H-how...how did that happen?' _Neji wondered, clutching his chest as he fell to a knee.

"Dead…"

Neji's head snapped up to meet Hanabi's eyes, staring up at him from where she lay.

"What?" he demanded.

"You're dead… cousin," she repeated.

Then he understood, that strike she had used, it was a killing blow, she could have... Gritting his teeth Neji forced himself to his feet and turned to leave.

"Don't turn your back on me…"

Neji froze, "What did you say?" he hissed, whipping around recoiling in surprise when he found Hanabi pushing herself off the ground.

"Don't… turn…your… back… on…me!" Hanabi ground out as she, once again, forced herself to her feet.

This was too much for Neji.

"Why?" he demanded, trembling with suppressed rage, "Why do you stand? The match is over, you've lost. Why keep fighting? Why? Why? Tell me why!" Neji shouted, losing all semblance of composure.

For the longest time, Hanabi said nothing. She simply stared into Neji with the most unnerving calm, "Because I choose to..."

In an instant Neji was upon his smaller cousin, his hand pulled back to deliver a killing blow, his eyes wild with fury.

In the next instant the Jounin appeared, as if materializing out of thin air, encircling him, each in one way or another restraining the enraged boy.

"The match is over; stand down," Hayate ordered, standing calmly infront of Neji's glowing hand, "Medics!"

"Quite the match, eh Kakashi?" Gai asked, his voice subdued as he watched the medics tended to Hanabi.

There was no response.

This was not at all what Gai had come to expect of his friend, Kakashi's wit usually wouldn't allow for such a lapse.

"Kakashi?" he asked, turning to find his rival's eyes focused on a point somewhere over his shoulder and above them.

"…Neji just made a horrible mistake," the silver haired Jounin whispered, still starring solemnly past Gai.

Confused, Gai turned around, eyes searching for whatever it was that had his normally cool headed rival so shaken… he was not prepared for what he found.

Uchiha Sasuke was standing at the edge of the observation deck, his hands gripping the rail with such force that he had unconsciously crushed the cast iron, Sharingan spinning madly as his eyes bored into Neji's retreating form with complete, unadulterated, loathing.

_'What will you do Sasuke?'_ Kakashi wondered as a scene from long ago played before his eyes once more…

_Little Sasuke, sobbing inconsolably as he knelt in the street next to the smiling corpse of his brother, clutching a bloody kunai as he screamed like a wounded animal._

"I sincerely hope that those two don't meet in the finals," Kakashi muttered, never taking his eyes off his student as Sasuke's eyes twisted into a cruel parody of the Sharingan pinwheel. Kakashi knew what this would mean, Sasuke would never forgive Neji for this… just like Sasuke could never forgive himself.

* * *

**End Notes**

Ha! Show of hands, who got blindsided by the ending? Come now don't be shy, I've been waiting to spring that on you since chp 2!

Now, before any of you start getting any ideas, Sasuke does **NOT **have the hots for Hanabi. It is simply that the concept of family members trying to kill each other hits a little too close to home.

Anyway, as always feel free to submit Omake or give me suggestions on how to improve the fic and no Sasuke does not have the same Mangekyo that he does in cannon… stupid atom rip off. Anyway, now you all know why Sasuke is different from cannon so XP to all you unbelievers who ripped on me for making him out of character.

Fair warning the next chp will be filler, mostly a chp to show which Omake were actually part of the fic and which were just for fun since some people seem to be confused. Then I will most likely throw you a bone and give a flashback chp of just what happened the night of the Uchiha massacre…this will, of course, be after I reread the rest of the story and revise it... again.

And for the love of god if I misspelled something or there are glaring grammar issues PLEASE tell me.


	20. Omake That Happened

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails **

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, and graphic imagery

* * *

**A/N**

Now then, I've had issues explaining to some of you that "Yes, some of the Omake were actually part of the story." So, now I'm idiot proofing it so that I don't have to explain this again and just making a whole damn chp of the ones that actually happened.

* * *

**Chp 20: Omake That Happened**

**The Origin of Beta**

_**By: Edelta88**_

"So you're saying that the leader is Alpha?" asked Naruto.

Nodding Kiba said, "Yeah the pack leader along with his mate are called the Alphas while the 'Second in Command' is called Beta."

"But how do they decide who's who?"

"Well the Alpha is usually the strongest in the pack."

"So the Alpha is like the Hokage, the strongest leads," Naruto mused, then he asked, "How do they pick the Beta?"

"Well the Beta is picked for two things strength and trust," Kiba began in a passable imitation of Iruka's 'Lecture Voice™,' "the Beta has to be strong but the Alpha also has to trust them, usually the Beta is the one that the Alpha trusts the most rather then the second strongest."

"Oh so it's kind of like the Beta is the best friend."

"You could say that…"

_**Years Later**_

We find Naruto curled up half asleep in a corner of the Hokage's office with Hinata using him as a pillow while flashes of memory pass through his wandering mind.

"…_leader is Alpha…"_

"…_usually the strongest…"_

"…_Beta…the one the Alpha trusts the most…"_

Strongest…he was strongest…so…he was Alpha?

"…_trusts most..."_

Beta…trust…he could trust Beta…but who was Beta? Who did he trust?

"Naruto-kun…" the sleeping Hinata mumbled in her sleep drawing the attention of the half awake Jinchuuriki.

This girl…the one who had come into his territory…slept in his den…

"…_Good luck…"_

More memories…

"…_Naruto-kun…"_

She was different… her voice had been different then the others… warmer… and her presence… when she was near him… she felt like… like the air after the rain… like the sun… she felt… safe… like he could… trust her…

And as sleep finally claimed him a single, almost silent, word passed Naruto's lips, "Beta."

* * *

**How Sasuke Awakened Sharingan**

_**By: Edelta88**_

_**Inspired By: Claws2**_

Left

Sasuke was not having a good day.

Duck

Why you may ask?

Roll

Well for starters, he fell out of bed this morning.

Right

Then there was no hot water when he went to take a shower.

Cartwheel

Then as he was coming out of a _very_ cold shower his possessed MP3 player turned on and nearly sent him into cardiac arrest… he really didn't know why he didn't just throw it out.

Combat Roll

Then he had realized that he'd forgotten to go grocery shopping so breakfast was practically nonexistent.

Dip

Then he got ambushed by his fangirls on the way to the Academy.

Pirouette

It was a lecture day, so he'd been bored out of his skull.

Dive

Then to top it off Sakura was more pissed at him then usual for some reason…must be that time of the month.

Round off

So here he was…

Back flip

…dodging all manner of airborne literature…

Wall-run

…by any means available…

Barrel Roll

…as Sakura cursed at him…

Front handspring

…while Iruka-sensei tried (and failed miserably) to calm her down.

SPLITS

_'SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS SHE KEEPING THESE!'_ he wondered as he evaded yet ANOTHER dictionary, "Oh screw this," Sasuke muttered and then dove out of the window usually he wouldn't skip class but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Landing in a crouch he breathed a sigh of relief…only so be pegged in the back of the head by a copy of Encyclopedia Ninja. Realizing that he still wasn't safe Sasuke took off like a bat out of hell heading for his apartment as literature continued to rain down from the second story window.

After splashing his sweaty face he glanced at himself in the mirror only to come face to face with a pair of Crimson eyes, "Sharingan…" he whispered reverently barely daring to believe what he was seeing as he took in the two black tomoes in each as he realized that he had finally awakened his birthright, "…it must have been the stress from trying to dodge all… the…books…" his voice trailed off as he realized what he was saying.

And as Sasuke stared into the mirror he cursed whatever deity was taking a sadistic pleasure in torturing his pride as he realized that once again he owed something to somebody and worse _Sakura_of all people…even if he was the only on who knew about it.

* * *

**What happened to Mizuki?**

_**By: Edelta88**_

Mizuki was in trouble. Why was he in trouble?

Well for starters now that he actually thought about it poisoning Iruka, even if it wasn't lethal, so that he could take the class to jeer and gloat at the Kyuubi brat, _'May he and his ridiculously complicated, ingenious, and spectacular pranks forever burn in the lowest pits of hell,'_was, in hindsight, a bad idea because it was so obviously him and would get him in a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Then there was the fact that he had actually taken the kids on that little field trip, the Third hadn't ok'ed anyone going near the cage yet so that was bound to get him in trouble and that wasn't including how his unauthorized class outing had gotten one of his students severely injured and he hadn't had them sign any wavers or permission forms.

Then there was the fact that he was now buried up to his neck. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, he'd just dig himself out or use a Kawarimi but the fact that the punch that had landed him there had crushed his spine kind of sent that option out the window, _'Note to self crushed spine is painful, in future avoid whenever possible.'_

Yet another issue was that in everyone's panicked frenzy to get Hanabi to the hospital and take care of the other kids they had kind of…forgotten him.

So here he was hours later like a planted turnip baking under the hot sun… and his nose was itchy.

Meanwhile over in the trees Anko turned to the Third, "You know I really don't give you enough credit," she said with… was that respect? "Leaving him out there to cook like this is really sadistic even by my standards."

"Just leave him for now, if it looks like he might die dig him out, but for now let him sweat."

"Why dig him out?" it was an honest question, "I mean he's got enough of a rap sheet now to have him executed why not save the trouble?"

"Oh I have a much… better way to take care of Mizuki-kun," Sarutobi answered, a malicious twinkle dancing in his eyes, "I think some time in a cell is just what he needs."

Anko was stunned, no not stunned she was FLOORED. Sending a paralyzed man to a prison full of morally questionable ex-shinobi that hadn't seen a woman in years was just asking for… oh… OH… oh damn. Shaking her head "Mizuki you poor dumb bastard… sheesh I hope I never piss that geezer off, he's a vindictive little bastard."

"I'm not little I'm short why can't people understand that," grumbled the venerable leader as he left the young Tokubetsu Jounin to watch the future prison bitch.

* * *

**Meddling Siblings**

_**By: EDelta88**_

_**On the Road to Nami no Kuni: Team 7 campsite**_

Team 7 and Tazuna had set down for the night just as the sun began to set. It had only been a few hours since Tazuna had finished explaining his situation and everyone was getting ready to go to sleep, minus Kakashi who had first watch.

Hinata was not happy. Why you may ask? Contrary to what you might think her current… ire was not due to the fact that their client had lied to them about the mission parameters. Nor the fact that they were now facing, at the least, a B ranked mission, though she knew it was more likely an A rank. In fact everything was as it should be, with one 'minor' exception… her bedroll was missing.

_'Where is it?'_ she thought as she went through her pack, she knew she had packed it, hell she had even packed a spare in case something happened to the first, but now both of them were gone. _'Ok think Hinata how could this have happened,_' they had gotten their mission specs, she had gone home, packed, run to the kitchen to get something to eat, gone back to her room to get her bag, and then left… wait. Turning to the red haired boy curled up next to her, "Naruto did anyone mess with my bag while I went to get lunch?"

Taking a thoughtful pose, "Chibi take sleepy rags," he answered.

By this point Sakura had noticed that something was off with her female teammate, "Is something wrong?"

"Hanabi swiped my bedroll," she growled.

* * *

_**Konoha**_

"AAACHOOO!"

Glancing over at her student Anko grinned mischievously, "Sounds like your sister figured it out."

"Looks that way," answered Hanabi as she rubbed her nose.

CRACK

Anko looked at Hanabi's now cracked teacup, "That can't be goo-"

CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!

Staring around in abject horror as everything glass, clay, ceramic or otherwise brittle in the room cracked, "I'm screwed aren't I," Hanabi said in a resigned tone.

Waving her hand dismissively, "Nonsense, she'll thank you…eventually."

That really was the operative word, 'eventually.'

_'Got to get another C.T. scan,' _thought Anko as she pondered the mysterious disembodied voice that seemed to be narating her situation, _'I'M RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW I CAN HEAR YOU DAMNIT!'_she screamed in her head_, 'GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!'_

* * *

_**Back at the Campsite**_

"I AM GOING TO KILL HER!" by this point Hinata was in a towering rage, threatening many forms of bodily harm (disembowelment, amputation, broken bones, dissection with a spoon, death-by-paper cuts, and the like) upon her sibling for "plotting"against her. Frankly everyone else found this hilarious, even Sasuke cracked a smile (gasp).

"Oh come-hahahaha- come on Hi-haha-Hinata it's not that bad you could sleep with one of us," said while gripping her sides only to receive a rather stern glare from her friend, "Or you could always use Naruto's tails like you did before," she said referring to the night Hinata had spent in Naruto's cage, which only served to turn Hinata red as a tomato and send Sakura into further fits of hysterical laughter.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but-" she protested, well attempted to protest as her pubescent mind ran away with the idea of _sleeping_ with the object of her affection.

"Hinata," explained Kakashi, "I don't know what we are going to run into and I can't afford for any of you to be in a less then optimal state."

"B-but it's not-" she began to protest.

"Alright fine," said Kakashi in a commanding voice, "I _order _you to get some decent sleep," he finished while conveniently leaving out that they could just shuffle bedrolls with the watch but wording it in such a way that she couldn't call him on it later.

Hinata's only answer was to mutter about 'interfering midgets' as she went over to her, for lack of a better term, pet and settled into the fluffy goodness that would substitute for her usual bedding, not that she was complaining but still, sleeping with him like this just made her feel...dirty. Like she was molesting a pupy or something.

And as sleep finally claimed him a single, almost silent, word passed Naruto's lips, "Beta."

* * *

**Mini-Me**

_**By: EDelta88**_

_**Inspired By:**__**Sgt. Nolisten**_

"**You never did answer me."**

_'What are you talking about?'_ Sakura asked as they continued following Anko to Area 44.

**"Why is it that two of the dweebiest chunnin around have mini-mes and yet WE do not?"**

_'…are you serious?'_Sakura asked, clearly not believing what she was hearing… thinking?

**"Like a heart attack."**

_'Sigh…'_

**"Well?"**

_'You do realize that those were probably Izumo and Kotetsu, right? Sasuke did say those guys were using henge.'_

**"The point still stands, why don't we have a mini-me?"** her inner persona argued.

_'Probably because I never thought about it,'_ Sakura snapped hoping her other self would drop the subject… she had no such luck.

**"Well we're thinking now,"** Inner Sakura replied in a stubborn tone that would put a mountain to shame.

_'…you're not going to drop this, are you,'_ it was more a statement of fact.

**"You better believe it sister!"**

_'Sigh, alright you win, we'll get a mini-me…'_

**"SCORE!"**

_'…but we're doing this _my _way.'_

**"Kill joy."**

_'Drama Queen.'_

**"AND PROUD OF IT! SHANNARO!"**

_'Moving on… who should we get?'_

Striking a thinking pose, **"Well, she'll have to be smaller then us…"**

_'You don't say,'_ Sakura muttered sarcastically.

**"…and she'll have to have naturally pink hair…"**

_'Well that narrows it down…a lot.'_

**"And she has to think that we are the best thing since sliced bread,"** Inner Sakura concluded.

_'That doesn't leave many candidates, I mean there aren't that many people with pink hair, I guess we could use my sister but that seems a little cliche.'_

**"Well there is that one girl in Konohamaru's class."**

'_Wait you aren't thinking of -'_

**"Yachiru,"** Inner Sakura finished.

_'…Damn.'_

**"Oh come on she's not that bad."**

_'Not that bad? NOT THAT BAD?'_

**"I think you're overreacting a little."**

'_THAT HELLION IS MORE HYPER THEN NARUTO WAS ON A SUGAR HIGH AND A CAFFINE DRIP!'_

**"…Okay so she is that bad but she's also very entertaining, worships the ground we walk on, and we could sic her on Sasuke."**

_'…I'm listening.'_

And thus did Sakura's quest for a mini-me begins…poor Sasuke.

* * *

**The Vulcan Neck Pinch**

_**By: EDelta88**_

_**Inspired By: He Who Spoke, a.k.a. The Muse**_

"Hey look! A distraction!" Sakura cried.

In the next moment Hinata dropped the first chunnin while Sasuke used a pressure point to knock the other out… or at least he tried to.

"What are you doing?"

"The Vulcan Neck Pinch?"

"No you idiot, it's lower, toward the base of the neck."

"Like… that?"

"Yeah! That's-" thwup.

"…Thanks," he said before turning and picking up some extra scrolls. As he was about to leave he paused, then looked back at the chunnin, "…Thanks again," turning around Sasuke found Sakura staring at the now unconscious guard.

Never taking her eyes off the downed chunnin, "…Well that was interesting."

* * *

**WARNING:**This next omake is sexual in nature so those of you who don't like lemons skip straight to the End Notes

**Puberty Sucks**

_**By: EDelta88**_

As Hinata moved through the woods of the training ground she began getting desperate. She had been on a mission with the others for more then three weeks (so no privacy or semblance there of) and she was so horny she almost didn't care it she got caught… almost. Her biggest problem had been shaking Naruto, normally that wasn't a problem, she just told him to stay at home until she got back went did her thing and it was done. The problem was that usually she was calm when she told him and this time she was so worked up she actually had to try and evade him.

Either way she was alone now and deep in one of the many training grounds where no one would hear or find her, so after making a quick check with her Byakuugan to be sure that she was in fact alone Hinata began to strip. The first time she had done this she had just dropped her shorts and done her thing, big mistake. She'd had to wash her clothes and wait for them to dry before heading home.

So pulling her jacket over her head she tossed it to the side while slipping off her zori (ninja sandals). Then came the shirt revealing her plain white bra over her rather well developed chest (ah the wonders of a baggy jacket). Finally hooking her finger in the waist of her pants she pushed them down past her knees before stepping out of them and tossing them on the pile.

Without bothering to remove the last articles of clothing Hinata practically threw herself to the ground. Shoving her hand down her panties she began massaging her swollen folds while she moved her other hand to remove her bra.

Meanwhile not to far away a rather bewildered Jinchuuriki sniffed the air as he followed the invisible trail left by his Beta as she had run away. Finding her scent again he took off deeper into the forest until he heard something. Padding toward the sound he came upon his quarry lying on her back in the middle of a clearing. Before anything further registered in his brain he caught a scent that he had never smelt before but that he recognized on a primal level.

Completely unaware that she had been found Hinata continued to pump her fingers in and out as she massaged her breast driving herself closer until finally with one last thrust she went crashing over the edge shrieking her ecstasy as spasms ripped through her body.

Basking in the after glow of her orgasm she remained unaware of the predator drawing closer to her as she lay prone on the forest floor. Still panting Hinata became vaguely aware of something wet on her inner thigh, at first she thought nothing of it thinking it was probably just some of her juices trickling down her leg.

'_Wait since when does liquid fall up!'_ she thought immediately coming out of her daze to find Naruto between her legs lapping at the juices leaking from pussy.

"Naruto what are you-AH!" she gasped as his long rough tongue ran up the length of her thigh, "N-Naruto stop it!" she ordered scooting away from him in an attempt to get out of his reach only to feel the rough bark of a tree blocking her retreat. Panicking Hinata tried to roll to the side only to be held against the tree by one of Naruto's tails as he drew closer. Trying to push the restraining appendage off she soon found her wrists pinned above her head by another of his tails.

"Naruto please," she whimpered as he gently pried her legs apart with two of his free tails but her pleas fell on deaf ears. The smell of her arousal combined with Naruto's primal mindset had awakened an instinct in her friend and companion that not even she could control.

As he held her legs apart Hinata could only watch in helpless fascination as Naruto lowered his head to the glistening liquid coating her thighs where he began greedily lap at her juices, his rough dog-like tongue running up her inner thigh.

Hinata couldn't stop the whimper that escaped her as Naruto's tongue drew closer to her moist core. If she were to be completely honest she had always wanted this to happen, just not like this. She wanted Naruto to be… Naruto again when they did this.

As Naruto continued to lap at the sweet fluids he marveled at the noises she was making, they were so…well he didn't know what to call them but he did know that he wanted her to make more of them.

_'Oh you have got to be kidding me,'_ thought Hinata as she started to squirm in a vain attempt to escape the tails that were now exploring her body, _'Seriously what is this? A bad hentai?'_ she asked herself with no small amount of sarcasm, though she'd be lying if she said that she hadn't wondered what it would be like, _'Well I'm about to find out I guess,'_ she thought as one of his tails found her left breast.

"Mmmh," she moaned as Naruto's tail began kneading her breast experimentally, _'You know, if I didn't know better I'd think he'd done this before,'_ she thought in an attempt to distract herself, it was in vain as Naruto had finally traced her essence back to her core.

"Ah!" she cried as his tongue ran over the swollen lips of her sex and her hips bucked instinctively seeking further contact, this had the intended result of driving Naruto's outstretched tongue deeper into Hinata's folds earning another pleasured cry from the captive Hyuuga.

Realizing he'd found a particularly sensitive area Naruto continued to plunder the depths of his companions body until his roaming tongue found one spot in particular instantly sending her over the edge.

'_How in the nine pits of hell is he so good at this?_' she wondered through the spasms of pleasure that continued to rack her body.

Her back arched, her mouth agape in a mute scream of ecstasy she never noticed Naruto remove his slimy appendage from her womanhood to watch the fruits of his labors. As she came down from her high noticed he had removed his pants and was now aligning himself with her.

And then…she woke up, her body tangled in her sheets and a now familiar dampness between her thighs, "These thrice damned hormones are going to drive me insane," she sighed as she got up with the intent of cleaning herself and changing her sheets… never noticing her roommate smile as he licked a suspicious fluid from his lips.

* * *

**End Notes**

So yeah, all of these have actually happened in at some point in Naruto of the Nine Tails; I just couldn't find anywhere to fit them in that made enough sense. Anyway, I tried to keep them in order that they would have happened in the story, though in the case of the lemon that could really have happened anywhere after she hit puberty.

And once again, I will take suggestions of submissions for Omake and will give credit where it is due.

Now then, since I know someone will point out that Sasuke has mangekyo but he killed Itachi before he awakened Sharingan. Time frame has no bearing on the fact that he HAD killed Itachi and thus fulfilled the prerequisite for Mangekyo.

Now, with all that out of the way, I can start editing in earnest and working on the next few chps.

**Next Chapter:** Flashback Chapter! The night of the The Uchiha Massacre where it all went wrong, Itachi becomes the victim of Murphy's law when things do not go as planned.


	21. Last of the Uchiha

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails **

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, and graphic imagery

* * *

**Chp 21: Last of the Uchiha **

_**5 Years Earlier…**_

"Wha-what's going on…" Sasuke whispered, horrified as he took in the sight before him...

The corpses of his family lay scattered and broken in the street; aunts, uncles, cousins, all dead. Kunai and shuriken littered the walls along with other obvious signs of a struggle. Blood pooled like puddle rain water all around him and the stench of death lingered heavy on the air like a funeral shroud.

What was going on, how could this have happened?

Panicking, Sasuke fell into a dead sprint; his feet automatically carrying him along the familiar path toward his parents' house, moving him blindly through the carnage. The scene never changed as he got further into the district… his home had become a war zone.

How could this have happened? They were in the middle of the village! How could an enemy strong enough to wipe out the battle hardened Uchiha have infiltrated so deep into the village? It made no sense.

"Tou-san! Ka-san! Aniki!" he cried as he crashed through the front door, desperately hoping to find someone, anyone, alive.

"Sasuke! Don't-" his mother's voice was cut off by the wet sound of steal on flesh followed by a meaty thump.

"Ka-san…" Sasuke whispered in muted horror as he stood in front of the door, unable to comprehend what was happening. He couldn't believe this, she couldn't be…

His hand trembling, Sasuke reached out pushing the door aside.

And there, standing over the lifeless bodies of there parents, was…

"Itachi?" Sasuke asked with dawning horror.

"Sasuke…"

"Wha-what's going on?" Sasuke stammered, praying to anyone who would listen that this was not what it looked like.

"I would think it would be obvious," Itachi replied with a curious tilt of the head.

"You...killed them..." Sasuke whispered, the words somehow finalizing what he already knew as rage began to bubble in his gut. Itachi had killed them, tou-san, ka-san... everyone.

"Yes," Itachi answered with an unnatural calm... as if it were nothing.

That did it.

"RAGH!" Sasuke cried at the top of his lungs, rushing his brother.

"Foolish otouto," Itachi muttered before he sank his fist into Sasuke's solar plexus, dropping him to the floor.

"Why…" Sasuke gasped, clutching his stomach.

"To test myself," Itachi answered evenly.

"You… killed everyone… for that?" Sasuke asked from his place on the floor.

Itachi's reply was simply silence. No trace of doubt. No regret. No remorse. Not even a hint of compassion on his blood soaked face.

"Bullshit…" Sasuke hissed.

Itachi lifted a brow curiously.

"Bullshit!" Sasuke screamed, pressing off the ground and launching himself at his older brother.

"Foolish otouto," Itachi murmured, burying his fist in Sasuke's gut again.

"A-ah," Sasuke gasped, collapsing once more.

"You aren't even worth killing," Itachi sighed, stepping past Sasuke's prone form toward the door.

"B-bastard," Sasuke gasped, trying to catch his breath.

"Stay down Sasuke," Itachi replied as he stepped out into the moonlight, not even sparing Sasuke a second glance.

"Don't turn your back on me," Sasuke whispered, pushing himself up again. He was angry, so angry he could taste it like a bitter acid on his tongue.

But Itachi was already gone.

"No…" Sasuke growled. Using the wall he got to his feet and stumbled out the door after Itachi, slowly gaining speed as he regained his balance. Sprinting out of the house Sasuke snatched some of the weapons that had been strewn across the ground as he darted into the streets after the older Uchiha.

Itachi had barely cleared the fence around his family's home when he had to duck beneath a brace of shuriken.

Twisting into a hunter's crouch the young ANBU captain turned to face his attacker, expecting a patrol, only to find Sasuke running through a set of very familiar seals.

"Gokayu no jutsu!" Sasuke cried, belching a massive fireball.

Reacting on instinct, Itachi rolled to the side and toward the gout of flame to cut off the angle of spread and used his momentum to power a roundhouse kick that Sasuke manage to dodge by the barest of margins.

"Foolish otouto," Itachi chastened as he followed his kick with a straight left punch that knocked Sasuke into the wall.

What followed was an extremely one sided battle as Sasuke attempted every trick he knew to try and kill his brother. He punched, kicked, kneed, bit, stabbed, and slashed but no matter what he tried, Itachi countered him easily at every turn.

Sasuke would punch, and Itachi would use it to throw him.

Sasuke would kick, and Itachi would step into it to deliver a blow of his own.

Sasuke would knee, and Itachi would sidestep.

Sasuke would bite, and Itachi wouldn't even notice it through his armor.

Sasuke would stab, and Itachi would redirect it.

Sasuke would slash, and Itachi would dodge.

And that's when he realized it. He couldn't win. Itachi was going to get away. His brother, his idol, who had taken everyone from him, was going to get away. The injustice of it enraged the young Uchiha, igniting an intense fury within his being that he'd not known possible.

And then he saw it.

Itachi never noticed that, for a split second, his little brother's eyes flashed red, a single tomoe rotating slowly in each eye.

Sasuke wouldn't realize it until much later, but this was what the clan told him of all these years. The sting, like tears in his eyes, was but a faded memory as he ducked beneath his brother's approaching fist, watching as the prodigious teen's eyes widened in surprise as he sprang forward and drove his kunai into the older boy's side, feeling the warm spray of blood across his face.

The next moment, Itachi froze as he felt a searing pain in his side. Alarmed he looked down at the wound assessing the damage, "Oh no," he whispered as he realized that Sasuke had grazed several arteries, the wound was beyond his skills to heal… he would bleed out in a matter of minutes. "No… no! _No_! This can't be happening! FUCK!"

Cursing incoherently, Itachi's fading mind raced as he attempted to find a way to salvage the situation.

All the while Sasuke looked on stunned and confused. This just seemed so… wrong. Itachi never lost his cool; he acted composed and collected at all times. Why had his demeanor suddenly changed? Why hadn't he left to treat his wounds? What was going on? It didn't make sense!

"Damnit!" Itachi hissed, he only had moments before he bled out, he could feel it, there wasn't enough time to… time! Spinning to face Sasuke, Itachi locked gazes with his little brother, his eye's immediately twisting into Mangekyo Sharingan, "_Tsukuyomi!_"

What he was planning would kill him but, then again, he was already dead.

For several moments the two brothers stayed there, staring at each other in a genjutsu induced trace as Itachi pushed Tsukuyomi far and beyond its limits.

Then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over, Itachi crumpling bonelessly under his own weight, Sasuke catching him as best he could.

"Aniki…" Sasuke muttered, cradling his brother's head as Itachi's life slipped away.

Smiling weakly Itachi poked Sasuke in forehead one last time, "I'm sorry Sasuke… There won't be a next time…." he whispered, his eyes slowly closing as a soft smile played across his lips.

And then, Uchiha Itachi, one of the greatest unsung heroes Konohagakure had ever known, died.

In that instant Sasuke's eyes glowed red, a stylized black Magna Tomoe rotating ominously in each eye as he stared mournfully down at his brother's peaceful face. The lines of stress had given way to a mask of contentment; it was almost like he was sleeping, like he was dreaming…

Bloody tears ran down Sasuke's cheeks as he screwed his eyes shut, his face twisting into an anguished grimace as his fingers tore at his hair, a scream of purest fury ripping its way out his throat, releasing his anger and grief into the sky.

Uchiha Madara would die, one way or another…

* * *

**Omake: Naruto of the Nine Tails and the Fox of Doom**

_**By: Silent Magi and EDelta88**_

_**Inspired by: "Frodo of the Nine Fingers and the Ring of Doom"**_

_A Brilliant Ballad By a Budding Bunch of Bards Because they Became Bored_

Naruto of the nine-tails,  
And the Fox of Doom.

It has its beginnings in ages past,  
When Minato set forth to battle the demon Kyuubi.  
And sealed the fox into the deep,  
Guarded forever by the child of the wind and sea.

When Naruto found the Fox of Doom,  
In the darkness deep in the gloom.  
He never thought,  
That it would turn him into a Fox of Doom.

The Akatsuki, the Sound-nins too.  
The daimyos, and the Uchiha pox.  
They came to know the power  
Of Naruto The Demon Fox.

Naruto of the nine-tails,  
And the Fox of Doom.  
It started with Minato  
Sealing Kyuubi in the gloom.

The power of the Fox it grew,  
And the Third sat in thought.  
He knew that it must be consumed,  
And its hatred long forgot.

For if in evil hands it fell,  
The Earth would surely know its end.  
No force of arms could win the day,  
No army would dare contend.

For evil flourished across the land  
But hope there grew, in the festering malignancy.  
As in Konoha dwelled,  
The child of a prophecy

In a distant land, the noble Naruto,  
The greatest heir to wind and sea  
He suffered in the darkness  
To become the hero he was born to be

Naruto of the nine tails,  
And the Fox of Doom.  
Accepted a heavy burden,  
More than one could presume.

Naruto of the nine tails,  
And the Fox of Doom.  
Why does he have nine tails?  
Does the Fox still dwell in gloom?  
We may never know know for sure.  
The truth of Naruto and the Fox of Doom

* * *

**A/N**

And there you have it.

Special thanks to Silent Magi for his help with this chp and the cracktastic omake idea.

My apologies for not following through on my promises of the editing overhaul but life got in the way and I felt a little cruel for leaving you hanging. So, I chose to forgo the overhaul in favor of finishing the chp for you guys.

As always, I remind everyone that I do accept omake ideas and will give credit for the ones that I post.

Now then, in all probability I will not be updating this for the next few months since I want to work on several of my other projects and need to get ready for the spring semester.


	22. Between a Rock and a Nutcase

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, and graphic imagery

* * *

**Chp 22: Between a Rock and a Nutcase**

_**Training Ground 44**_

_'He is so dead,'_ Sakura thought, glaring daggers at Neji as one of the medics checked his heart.

**"You're tell'n me, look at Sasuke!"** Inner Sakura cried, hiding under a boulder that had materialized in Sakura's mindscape.

_'Huh?'_ Sakura thought, glancing over at her teammate only to take a step back in fright, _'HOLY-! THAT SHIT IS FREAKY!'_ she thought, taking an involuntary step back as she caught sight of Sasuke's Mangekyo Sharingan Glare of Doom©. Sakura could honestly say that, at this moment, Sasuke was the most terrifying thing she had _ever_ seen. Granted, Naruto in Berserk Biju mode was scary as hell but he still had the protective vibe going when he did that. Sasuke, on the other hand, the new Sharingan—what was that anyway?—combined with the ominous black/red aura and his murderous posture… no wonder the Uchiha had been so feared during the Clan Wars.

"Will the remaining competitors please come to the floor!"

Startled out of her thoughts, Sakura glanced down to the arena where Lee was facing off against the red haired ninja from Suna. By the time she looked back at Sasuke his eyes were closed and he was taking long steady breaths and the aura of violent intent had faded.

_'What the hell __**was**__ that?'_ Sakura wondered.

**"It was hot, that's what it was…"** Inner Sakura muttered.

_'Says the alternate personality hiding under an imaginary rock,' _Sakura thought sarcastically.

**"Ok so it scared me shitless, but the boy just went Super Saiyan pissed! I have a right to be a little intimidated!"** Inner Sakura defended.

_'Right,'_ Sakura drawled, _'Cause you were so-wait did you just call Sasuke hot?'_

**"…Aren't you supposed to be like… smart, or something?"**

_'ANSWER THE QUESTION!'_

**"Sheesh, so violent,"** Inner Sakura muttered, retreating further under her rock.

_'Don't make me come in there…' _Sakura growled as a hurricane started forming over Inner Sakura's hiding spot.

And Sakura was just about to follow up on that threat when something happened to completely derail her inner… monologue?

BOOOOM!

"…Really Gai?" Kakashi deadpanned, staring at the small mushroom clouds that Lee's weights had created.

_'What…'_ Sakura wondered.

**"The…"** Inner Sakura continued.

_**'Fuck!'**_ they finished in chorus.

"Get'm Lee!" Gai crowed, his teeth shining brightly.

Not a second later, Lee vanished from the top of the statue, appearing in a blur of motion behind Gaara…

And put his fist right through Gaara's sand.

"What in all the hells?" Temari whispered, horrified at what she was seeing. The pure brute strength to do that—and those weights! _'What are these tree huggers teaching their kids!' _she wondered, watching as the strange Leaf gennin continued to flit around faster than most could track until-

Wham!

Temari's eyes bulged, _'He hit Gaara!'_ This was absolutely ludicrous! A _gennin_ had hit Gaara! Just what the FUCK was up with this village?

"Over here!" Lee cried, appearing right in front of Gaara and landing a devastating blow that sent the suna gennin flying across the arena.

"This is bad…" Kankuro muttered, as Gaara's sand armor cracked and showed him to be completely unharmed. This was _very_ bad, and for more than one reason. First and foremost in Kankuro's mind, Gaara could lose control and start a veritable shit storm but, more importantly, Konoha had someone who could get through Gaara's shield. A _gennin_ that could get through Gaara's shield and, if there was a student, there was a master, which meant that there was at least one ninja in this village that could neutralize Gaara. This was very, _very,_ bad.

"Is that all?" Gaara asked, as his sand reinforced his armor.

Startled, Lee glanced up at his sensei, his eyes searching for guidance… and permission.

"Go for it," Gai whispered, giving his student the barest of nods.

Smiling broadly, Lee started unraveling the bandages around his wrists.

"Gai?" Kakashi asked, "Is he about to do what I think he's about to do?"

"Yes, yes he is," Gai replied smugly.

"Whoa boy," Kakashi groaned, palming his face. Leave it to Gai to teach a gennin a kinjutsu.

"Hurry up and come," Gaara demanded.

"You asked for it," Lee responded before suddenly vanishing.

"What!" Temari cried in surprise.

Suddenly, Lee was beneath Gaara, driving a foot into his chin and knocking him into the air.

_'Please finish this quickly Lee,' _Gai thought, closing his eyes for the barest of moments in prayer as his student drove his opponent further into the air. While the Omoto Renge was a devastating attack, it was dangerous to the user as well and Lee's body could only handle so much stress.

The resounding crash accompanied by a wave of debris made for quite the sight as Lee launched his opponent straight into the ground with enough force to shatter the arena floor like cheap plaster.

"Great going Lee!" Tenten crowed, punching her fist into the air.

"That was amazing!"

"Don't get too excited," Kakashi told them, still watching the arena very closely.

"Huh?"

"It's not over," Kakashi whispered just in time for Gaara's body to start crumbling, revealing itself to be nothing more than a shell of sand.

"What?" Gai cried in dismay, as the real Gaara rose up behind Lee like some monster out of a sandy pit. "When did he-"

"While you were praying," Kakashi explained, "Lee flinched for a split second."

"Damn," Gai sighed, only to smile sadly a moment later, "It won't matter though."

"Huh?" Sakura wondered, "Um, why wouldn't it matter?"

"The lotus of the Leaf blooms twice," Gai whispered.

"Twice?" Kakashi wondered before horrified realization entered his eyes, "Gai, please tell me you didn't…"

"I did indeed my dear rival," Gai responded rather gravely.

_'What are they talking about?' Sakura_ wondered, staring over at the two jounin.

**"I haven't the foggiest…What's up with Naruto?"** Inner Sakura wondered.

_'Naruto?'_ Sakura asked, glancing at her fox boy. He was just lying there, staring at the fight. _'Yeah, so?'_

**"Well, **_**look**_** at him. The boy is never this focused, **_**ever**_**!"**

"Naruto? What are you…" Sakura wondered, tracing his gaze.

* * *

_**Meanwhile in Sasuke's apartment…**_

"He's a Pinball Wizard, there's gotta be a twist. The Pinball Wizard's got-"

"Where the hell is that coming from?" the house keeper wondered looking around the apartment.

* * *

"…Whoa," Sakura muttered, staring down at the arena.

Lee was literally glowing with power, surrounded by a violent carrona of energy as he stood in the middle of the arena.

"Three gates!" Kakashi cried, alarmed when it looked like Lee wasn't finished, "Gai! How many can he use?" he demanded.

"Five," Gai answered, never taking his eyes off his student.

"By the gods…" Kakashi whispered, "Why would you-"

"HA!" Lee cried, launching himself forward at such violent speeds that the shockwave he generated further destroyed the concrete arena and showering the spectators with dust and debris.

Boom!

Lee appeared beneath Gaara, launching him into the air.

"What!" Temari cried, "Where-"

"There!"

Lee was in front of Gaara.

Boom!

"He's knocking Gaara away from his sand," Baki, the suna team's sensei, realized.

Behind.

Boom!

Below.

Boom!

Left.

Boom!

Boom!

Boom!

Faster and faster, Lee struck his helpless opponent, bouncing him around the air above the arena like a red headed beach ball caught in a hurricane as he continuously chipped away at Gaara's sand armor.

"This is the end," Lee said, appearing above Gaara and driving him back toward the ground, only for one of his bandages to catch Gaara around the middle.

_'Oh no,'_ Gaara thought, horrified as Lee pulled him back in for another strike.

"URA RENGE!" Lee cried, driving his fist through the sand armor and into Gaara's stomach with such terrifying force that Gaara's impact against the arena floor sent up a massive cloud of dust not unlike the impact of a meteorite.

BOOOOM!

"My god…" Sakura whispered.

"Gah!" Lee cried, impacting awkwardly as he landed.

"Oh no," Hinata whispered, her exclamation drawing everyone's eyes to the middle of the arena where Gaara lay in a bed of sand, his hand outstretched and guiding his sand toward his injured opponent.

_'He used his sand to break the impact!'_ Gai realize in despair as the sand closed around Lee's leg and arm.

But, even as Gaara closed his hand to crush Lee, a burst of chakra dispersed the attack, leaving Lee to fall to the ground, just barely conscious.

"Why?" Gaara whispered, unable to understand what he was seeing as he stared at the one who had stopped him.

But Naruto didn't answer him, not at first. Instead, the animalistic jinchuuriki simply stayed where he was, crouched protectively on all fours between Gaara and Lee, his tails swaying idly behind him.

"Why do you protect them?" Gaara demanded, the image of Naruto standing between Kankuro and the two Hyuuga girls flashing through his mind. This boy was like him but was at the same time completely different. How? Why? He had to know. He _needed_ to know.

Naruto seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, searching for the words he needed. "They… are… my… pack," Naruto said, forcing each word as he spoke but with a cold conviction that left no doubt to his meaning.

_Konoha is under my protection, face me if you dare…_

And, though no one noticed and it may have simply been a trick of the light, his hair seemed to brighten ever so slightly for just a second before returning to a bloody red.

* * *

**End Notes**

So yeah, that's chp 22 and the last match of the prelims, hope you liked it. The matches for the finals are already decided. I know, shocking that I actually managed to update but not for lack of writing mind you. I have no idea how many ideas I've started at this point. I have literally started too many to count (read "I'm too lazy to count them all up")

Anyway, I had some feedback for previous chps that I haven't acted on yet. I WILL be getting around to that... eventually.

On another note, it may be a long wait for the next chp seeing as I'd like to make some kind of headway on my other projects. You have been warned.

* * *

**Rant**

Hello faithful minions-

**Readers damnit! They are readers! Not my minions!**

So? I want to call them minions!

**Didn't I fire you?**

I'm still on your profile as The Muse aren't I?

**So?**

I'm still the only one with the title. Ergo, I am the muse.

**And I'm the writer, therefore, as far as my fics go. I. Am. GOD!**

…You've been rereading the Naruto vs Pain arc again haven't you.

**No I haven't, I've completely stopped paying attention to canon.**

So you're just naturally this crazy?

**Please tell me you aren't just now figuring out that I'm touched in the head.**

Touched? More like someone smacked you with a tire iron.

…**You do remember that I know where you sleep right?**


	23. Calm Before The Storm

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails**

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, and graphic imagery

* * *

**Chp 23: Calm Before the Storm**

"Well, this should be interesting," Sakura decided, staring blankly down at her number and mentally matched up the others as she walked out of the Forest of Death with the other contestants. _'I got "one," so that means I'm up against Shikamaru… that's going to be complicated.'_

**"You don't say?"** Inner Sakura responded as she played around with an oversized three dimensional chess board… where the hell had that come from?

'_Choji and that sand girl both got the last numbers so they'll be the last match and Sasuke got number four so that would mean he's… Oh…Uh oh,' _her eyes bulging as she glanced over at Sasuke who was staring across the room at Neji, a terrifying grin splitting his face.

**"Wait! Fate boy got number… Oh… Oh damn."** Neji had pulled number three. That meant Neji was going to be fighting a fresh Sasuke with an ax to grind and years of punt up aggression to blow off. **"You know… Hyuuga might not be wrong about fate, it certainly seems to hate him…but doesn't that mean-"**

_'Yeah,'_ Sakura agreed. That meant Hinata and Naruto had that sand wielding psycho.

"**Um… aren't we forgetting someone?"**

'…_No?'_

"**The Living Hive and the Puppet Punk?"**

'_Are you kidding? The Aburame slaughtered the puppet corps in the second great war. That isn't even a match, it's a footnote!_' And she wasn't kidding, the Aburame had been the absolute bane of the Puppet Corps' collective existence in that war. It was only the dumb luck that the Aburame's kichai insects at the time hadn't been bred to resist the heat of the desert that kept Konoha from marching unopposed all the way to Suna.

"**What if puppet boy comes to the match with a giant can of Raid?"**

'…_Shino enters a berserker rage and goes on a murderous rampage that brings existence as we know it to a violent end?'_

Inner Sakura froze. Then, sagging slightly, she leveled a blank glare at Sakura.

'_What? Why are you staring at me like that?'_ Sakura demanded nervously.

"**Seriously,**_** I'm**_** supposed to be the violent one! You're stealing my gimmick!"** Inner Sakura raged.

'_Oh for the love of-'_

Meanwhile, as Sakura continued to argue with… herself, Sasuke had wandered off in the general direction of his home, thoughts of sugar plums and extreme bodily harm dancing in his head.

No one that knew him would accuse Sasuke of being the protective type. In truth? Yeah, he wasn't. After all, what did he have to protect? Everyone he cared about was dead… right?

An image of his team popped unbidden into his head, a photograph they had taken together after the bell test that he kept on his bedside table. There he was, standing in the middle of the group, arms crossed with an annoyed scowl on his face. Behind him was Kakashi, smiling and giving a victory sign to the camera. Hinata was on his right, smiling like a maniac as she kneeled down next do Naruto who had taken up a position in front of her but a little closer to the middle. Then there was Sakura, standing on his left and trying her level best not to touch him, all the while looking incredibly smug.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kakashi asked as he casually walked up next to, matching his student's pace while his nose remained firmly buried in his book.

"Just… things," Sasuke responded evasively.

"Hm," Kakashi hummed, closely watching his student's agitated movements. He had been so hopeful when Sasuke had started bugging Sakura at the beginning of the exam but now it appeared he would have to run damage control. "Want to talk about it?"

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, refusing to answer.

"You know, you are so much like I was at your age that it's scary," Kakashi mused, casually turning the page.

"Is that really so bad?" Sasuke asked. After all, Kakashi had turned out just fine. Right?

"I ended up losing my eye and got my best friend killed," Kakashi told him, looking up from his book for the first time.

Sasuke said nothing, turning his head away from his sensei in embarrassment.

"Have you given any thought on how you'll handle Neji?" Kakashi asked, casually flipping to the next page.

"I have a few ideas," Sasuke murmured, his fingers flexing ominously as his eyes flashed red.

"Sasuke," Kakashi sighed, his book vanishing as he knelt down to his students level to look him in the eye. "I won't pretend to understand how you are feeling right now—this isn't the same as it was for me—but promise me something ok?"

"What sort of promise?" Sasuke asked cautiously.

"Don't kill him?"

Sasuke went rigid, staring strangely at his teacher.

"Oh! And try to avoid maiming him? Gai would never let me hear the end of it," Kakashi added, almost as an afterthought.

Sasuke snorted, shaking his head as he turned to continue walking, his dark mood broken.

"In all seriousness, though, we should start with your training as soon as possible. Neji isn't going to be easy to beat," Kakashi explained, once more walking next to his student, his nose buried in his book.

"What about Sakura and Hinata?" Sasuke asked. "Who's going to be training them for the finals?"

"Oh, I already took care of that," Kakashi told him, waving it off.

"Took care of it?" Sasuke quoted skeptically. He was not convinced.

"Most of what I know is meant for tracking or heavy combat, so I… _convinced_, a friend of mine to teach Sakura a few things."

* * *

_**Commercial District**_

"…How is this supposed to help me again?" Sakura asked skeptically.

"Nara are thinkers, screw up their ability to think or throw a wrench into their plans and they're as good as yours," Anko explained, nodding sagely as she worked her way through an order of dango.

"So, I'm trying to put him off his game?"

"Exactly!"

"Right… and how exactly does this help with that?" Sakura asked, holding up a riding crop.

"Nara men are terrified of women with dominating personalities."

"Huh?"

"His mother smacks his father with a frying pan when she's annoyed with him, he'll associate the crop with traumatic childhood memories," she explained.

"Ok… and the rest of it?" she asked, staring dubiously at the form fitting hardened leather pants, armored corset, a pair of knee high combat zori, and what looked like miniaturized versions of the elbow gloves worn by ANBU.

"Wear those and sway your hips. You will distract any hot blooded male in the area."

"Uh huh…" Sakura said, staring blandly at the older kunoichi.

'_Blackmail me will you? You will rue this day Hatake Kakashi. I swear it!' _Anko thought, chuckling evilly, either not noticing or not caring for the strange look her student was giving her.

** "Is she prepping us for a Ninja tournament or a visit to a BDSM dungeon?"** Inner Sakura asked, scratching her head confusedly.

_'The real question we should be asking… Do we actually want to know?'_

**"…Good point, let's just roll with it."**

* * *

_**Back With Sasuke and Kakashi**_

"Why do I suddenly feel like I've stabbed the metaphorical sleeping dragon?" Kakashi wondered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Huh?"

"Nothing," Kakashi shrugged. "Just a random feeling, it's probably nothing."

"Right…What about Hinata?" Sasuke pressed. "Who's training her? Her family?" There was no way he was letting this go. Naruto or no Naruto, that Gaara kid was no joke.

"She has… other arrangements," Kakashi responded cryptically.

* * *

_**Local Osen**_

Moving through the faint mist surrounding the hot spring like a ghost, Hinata walked toward her destination, Naruto padding along behind her.

"Hehe!"

Naruto froze, his parabolic ears snapping toward the direction the giggling, his eyes narrowing predatorily when the giggling came again. Slowly, a vulpine, sinister, grin worked its way onto his face as he looked at Hinata expectantly.

"Yes, I hear him," she sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Usually she'd just let Naruto have his fun but considering recent events… she wasn't sure if that was such a good idea in a densely populated area. "Naruto, maybe we should-"

But she was too late.

_"Ero-sennin~"_ the fox boy sang, happily bounding into this mist.

"Son of a-umph!" she heard a man cry only to be drowned out by a resounding crash.

"Oh Naruto," Hinata groaned, her face falling into her hands as a symphony of curses, womanly shrieks of indignation, and the many sounds of property damage drifted to her through the mist.

"Back fiend! Back I say!" cried a white haired man as he sprinted past, a laughing Naruto hot on his heels and stampede of women in towels close behind as Hinata's ears turned steadily darker shades of pink.

Well, at least it was just the fence this time…

* * *

_**Sometime later…**_

"So, let me get this straight," Jiraiya said, now sitting calmly against a tree, Hinata sitting across from him with Naruto using her lap as a pillow. "In the last week you have, antagonized a room full of foreign ninja, mind fucked our leading torture and interrogation specialist, fought my thrice damned traitor of a teammate and lived to tell about it, and sent one of your old classmates to the mental ward… I'm I leaving anything out?"

"There was the, um…" Hinata's voice trailed off as she nervously pointed to the junction of her neck and shoulder where Naruto had bitten her.

"Yes that," Jiraiya said with a smirk. They were growing up so fast! Still, he'd have to check that thing later, no telling what Naruto had actually done but it certainly wasn't normal if Hinata's description was to be believed.

But that could wait.

"You said Orochimaru did something to Naruto before he went berserk?" Jiraiya asked, finally getting down to business.

Hinata nodded. "Yes, he hit him in the stomach using some kind of seal, intending to disrupt his chakra I think."

"Well, let's have a look," Jiraiya said, coming over to crouch next to them so he could get a better look at the seal. "Yeah, that's Orochimaru's work, alright," he muttered, scowling down at the black symbols.

"You can fix it, right?" Hinata asked uncertainly.

Jiraiya snorted, flailing his arms dramatically. "Girl, I am the gallant Jiraiya-sama! What do you take me for? Some amateur like my former teammate! I think not!"

"So… you can fix it then?" Hinata deadpanned, not the least bit impressed.

Jiraiya deflated, staring flatly down at the little Hyuuga."Yes, I can fix it you ungrateful brat," he muttered, sullenly blowing some stray locks of hair out of his face. "Kids these days! No respect, I tell you. No respect!"

Hinata rolled her eyes at his antics. "Do you need to make any preparations?" she asked.

"No, I should be able to do it right here," he explained, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Although, it'll probably hurt a bit so if you could do your thing with him before I, you know…"

Hinata nodded, turning to her partner. "Naruto, this might sting a little, so-"

"Gogyo Kaifuin!" Jiraiya barked, pressing his fingers into Orochimaru's seal while Naruto was distracted… shortly before he reappeared twenty meters away imbedded in a boulder. "Ow…"

"You old goat! How many times have I told you not to surprise him!" Hinata shrieked as she got between the two of them. "Naruto? Naruto look at me!" she ordered, taking his face in her hands and forcing him to look at her only to gasp in surprise as his hair faded from a bloody red into a light orange. _'I wasn't imagining it!'_

"Well, that's… different," Jiraiya decided, scratching the side of his head as he watched the strange phenomenon.

"What could it mean?" Hinata asked, turning hopeful eyes on the old sage.

Jiraiya scowled thoughtfully. "I wish I knew kiddo, but your guess is as good as mine at this point," he said with a sigh, the worried creases on his face deepening as Hinata's face fell.

For the longest time, the three of them sat there in silence, Hinata against her tree with Naruto once more in her lap and Jiraiya… in his tree, each leaving the others to their own thoughts… or in Naruto's case, playing with his tail.

"You said you two were facing that Gaara kid?" Jiraiya asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I did," Hinata confirmed.

"A battle between jinchuuriki… that's going to get messy," he decided. He'd have to talk to Sarutobi-sensei about adding some emergency measures to the stadium. Seals could work… or maybe that one kid that had survived Orochimaru's experiments with mokuton. What was his name again? Tanto? Tozo? It started with a "T." He knew the guy had worked with Kakashi in the ANBU, he'd be helpful.

"Be fun though!" Naruto laughed.

"Right…" Jiraiya drawled. Well, at least _someone_ was excited at the idea of facing the homicidal incarnation of the desert. "You have a plan?" he asked, turning to Hinata.

"Something like that…" Hinata muttered nervously, refusing to meet the sage's gaze.

'_This is either going to make my week or have some kind of apocalyptic fallout,'_ he decided… meh, there was something threatening to destroy the world every other week anyway. "And this something would be… what exactly?"

"Well, there's this project I've been working on for a few months…"

"Yes?" Jiraiya pressed.

"I've may have…hypothetically… kinda… sorta been-"

* * *

_**Hokage's Office**_

Suddenly the Sandaime shivered in _absolute terror_ as Jiraiya's maniacal laughter echoed through the village. It was not an unpleasant sound… but it was a sound he had come to associate with things that were going to give him a migraine. For instance, the last time he'd heard that sound… Minato had explained the theory of a technique he had been working on to Jiraiya… several weeks later, the Hiraishin was born.

"May the gods take pity on us all," Hiruzen muttered, sending out a small prayer for the poor unfortunate soul that would be on the receiving end of whatever madness his former student was about to unleash on the world.

* * *

**Deleted Scene: Blood Doesn't Wash Off**

_**Wrote this but it didn't fit with what I wanted for the chp…**_

No one that knew him would accuse Sasuke of being the protective type. In truth? Yeah, he wasn't. After all, what did he have to protect? Everyone he cared about was dead… right? Vague images began flicking across his vision.

The smiling faces of his kinsmen, traitors that they were but his family none the same.

His parents standing together in the backyard of their house, one of the only times he could remember his father smiling.

Itachi…

Sasuke frowned, stopping in his tracks as his eyes unconsciously dropped to stare at his hands. To anyone else, his hands appeared normal; perhaps a little dirty but nothing out of the ordinary. To Sasuke… they always looked the same. He could still smell it, that coppery tang in the air. He could still feel it, slick and warm on his hands. It was always there. The blood never went away…

* * *

**Omake**

_**An alternate version of Kakashi's talk with Sasuke…**_

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kakashi asked as he casually walked up next to, matching his student's pace while his nose remained firmly buried in his book.

"Just… things," Sasuke responded evasively.

"Hm," Kakashi hummed, closely watching his student's agitated movements. He had been so hopeful when Sasuke had started bugging Sakura at the beginning of the exam but now it appeared he would have to run damage control. "Want to talk about it?"

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, turning his head away from his sensei. Then, the next thing he knew, he was eating dirt as a sore bump started growing on the back of his head where Kakashi had smacked him.

"You know, you are so much like I was at your age that it's scary," Kakashi mused, casually turning the page.

"What the hell!" Sasuke screamed, ready to get up and charge his sensei only to have the older man literally sit on him.

"Have you given any thought on how you'll handle Neji?" Kakashi asked as though it was perfectly normal to use his student as a chair.

"I have a few ideas!" Sasuke barked, trying to push himself up. "Maybe I should test them on you?" he asked, his eyes flashing red as he stared up at Kakashi only to receive a sharp whack courtesy of _Icha Icha: Paradise_.

"I won't pretend to understand how you are feeling right now—this isn't the same as it was for me—but I'm going to do the same thing for you that my sensei did for me when I would get into a mood."

"And what was that?" Sasuke snapped, trying to push himself up again.

"He beat the shit out of me until I decided to behave myself," Kakashi said with a shrug.

* * *

**End Notes**

I'm wounded guys. How many times do I have to say it before you'll believe me? I will never give up on a fic once I've started it. You here me? Never! I am the Naruto of Fanfiction! BELIEVE IT!

Anyway, I feel that you guys have a right to know just where the hell I've been for the past… year. For starters, my laptop with ALL my stuff on it died over the summer. It took forever to replace it because my mother kept insisting that she would help and then forever again to retrieve the data and badger my mother into following through on her promise to buy me the new Microsoft Office suite… Between that and the rest of my life, I turned around and well… you get the idea. Either way, I realized that I was leaving you hanging and have been working my ass off ever.

* * *

**Rant**

**So, I was writing this when I realized something very important.**

…I'm almost afraid to ask.

**Pansy…**

Yeah so?

**You can ask on your own or I can edit your line, your choice X}**

Fine! What wondrous discovery have you made this chapter oh great and merciful EDelta88, benevolent teller of epics and speaker of lore?

**So I was sitting in my happy place when all of a sudden-**

Asshole! You highjacked my line!

…**I did warn you.**

You-I'm gonna-grrrrr…

**Anyway, as I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted, I was sitting in my happy place, chipping away at this chp when I realized, "Holy shit… this is chapter twenty-three!" When the hell did that happen?**

…You're getting old Delta.

**Five seconds.**

What?

**Four seconds.**

What are you-

**Three.**

Oh crap! Not this again!

**Two… One… And now that he's gone, I will let him run until he figures out that I'm not actually going to chase him (^.^)V**


	24. Queen's Gambit

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi or some other large or imposing being talking

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails **

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, and graphic imagery

* * *

**Chp 24: Queen's Gambit**

_**Konoha Coliseum**_

It was nearly noon and the crowd was becoming restless as Sakura walked into the middle of the Konoha Coliseum to join with the other finalists, her cloak billowing slightly in the breeze.

Hinata quirked an eyebrow at Sakura's choice of attire; namely the thick cloak on a clear summer's day. "A little warm for that don't you think?" she asked teasingly.

"I completely agree," Sakura replied, nodding her head as she came to stand next to her friend. "You two ready?" she asked, flicking her gaze to Naruto. He was strangely… calm, composed, as he crouched next to Hinata his tails swishing lazily back and forth behind him.

Hinata's lip twitched. "I don't think we have anything to worry about," the young heiress replied.

Sakura pouted, sticking her lip out as her eyes began to glisten.

Hinata's lip twitched again.

"Mou," Sakura huffed. "Fine, don't tell me. See if I share any juicy gossip with _you_ ever again."

"You really need to stop writing checks you can't cash, Sakura," Sasuke snickered as he came to stand with his teammates.

"No one asked you Sasuke," Sakura replied, pulling down an eyelid and sticking her tongue out at him.

**"Remind me. Why haven't we killed him?"** Inner Sakura wondered.

_'Dying's easy, living is hard,'_ Sakura replied.

"It was an observation, not a response," Sasuke argued, crossing his arms.

"Yeah well-"

"If you two are quite finished!" Hinata interrupted, rolling her eyes at her teammates. "It looks like they are ready to begin the matches," she said, pointing at Genma as he turned to address the crowd.

"The first match will be between Nara Shikamaru of the Leaf and Haruno Sakura of the Leaf," he called, before turning to the chunnin hopefuls. "Combatants, please take your positions; the rest of you please proceed to the observation deck," Genma ordered, pointing toward a door in the wall of the coliseum.

"Good luck!" Hinata whispered as she passed before she and the rest of the other gennin walked off the field.

**"We're gonna need it,"** Inner Sakura muttered

_'Well aren't you optimistic this morning,' _Sakura thought sarcastically as she walked over to stand across from Shikamaru.

**"Nope, just realistic… Oh well, no matter what happens we'll look good doing it,"** she decided, nodding sagely.

_'Ain't that the truth,'_ Sakura replied with a smirk.

"Combatants ready?" Genma asked, lazily chewing his senbon.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Shikamaru sighed, looking for all the world as though he'd rather be anywhere but here… which was likely the case.

"Very," Sakura said, giving Shikamaru a grin that was entirely too sweet to mean anything good.

"This is going to be troublesome," Shika muttered, he did _not_ like that grin, not one bit.

"First match Haruno Sakura against Nara Shikamaru. HAJIME!" Genma cried before retreating to a safe distance.

Good thing he did too because a moment later the space between the two gennin exploded.

_'Holy freaking—how many explosive notes did she use?!' _Shikamaru wondered, taking stock of himself as he rolled to his feet. '_First degree burns, negligible. Minor bruising to the lower back and left forearm, also negligible. Equipment intact and accounted for. Opponent unaccounted for.'_ Movement at the edge of his vision, something coming out of the cloud of debris…

Shikamaru realized his mistake the moment he turned.

_'Her cloak!'_ he cursed, whipping around to face the stuff of his darkest nightmares.

* * *

Sasuke's mouth fell open. This…was not what he'd expected.

"Sasuke… are you _blushing_?" Hinata asked, equal parts amused and disbelieving.

"N-no!" Sasuke choked, refusing to meet her gaze as he tried to rub away the trickle of blood running from his nose.

"Pinky and Broody, sit'n inna tree-"

"Shut up Naruto!" Sasuke barked as Hinata giggled. Then Sasuke paused before turning to stare curiously at his teammates familiar. "Wait, was he just singing? When did that start?"

"He's learned a few tricks," Hinata replied evasively, a knowing grin spreading across her face. "I'm more curious about… this," she continued, changing the subject as she pointed into the arena.

"Yeah," Sasuke muttered the blood rising a little higher in his cheeks as he turned back to the match.

* * *

Shikamaru was frozen, his terrified mind running miles a minute as he watched Sakura descend on him. _'Leather boots. Tight pants. Corset. Riding crop. Subject: Haruno Sakura. Stereotypical dominatrix dress. Evil smile. Tsundere Alert! Tsundere Alert! Abort immediately! Do not pass GO do not collect two hundred dollars! Run like hell! Amscray! Shit! Shit! We's gonna die!'_

It was pure reflex and dumb luck that allowed Shikamaru to dodge the chakra charged riding crop and scramble away, his eyes shining with terror as Sakura's weapon of choice torn a trench into the ground where he'd just been standing.

"Going somewhere _Shi-ka-kun_?" Sakura crooned, giving him a saucy grin that was far too sweet to mean anything good as she snapped her whip aiming to snare his neck.

_'Bullwhip Bad! Escape! Run! Duck! Dip! Dive! Dodge! Kawarimi!_' Shika thought in the split second before the braided leather wrapped around the log he'd replaced himself with.

"Oh no you don't!" Sakura sang, swinging the whip and log like a flail toward where she felt her opponent exit the replacement.

"Ah!" Shikamaru yelped just barely able to duck out of the way as the log struck the boulder he'd been hiding behind with such force that it exploded in a shower of splinters. _'Shitcrapfuck! No logs! No logs! Dangerous! Sloppy? Distraction!' _he thought diving to the side.

No sooner had Shikamaru moved than Sakura's heel fell through the air where his head had been a moment before and shattered the hard soil, sending dust and gravel in every direction even as she swung her chakra charged whip to catch Shikamaru as he rolled to his feet.

Ironically, it was his terror induced clumsiness that saved him when he lost his footing and failed to roll to his feet allowing the whip to pass harmlessly overhead.

Then he saw the follow-up swing coming straight down on top of him.

* * *

_**Meanwhile…**_

Up in the stands, Kakashi stood frozen, Icha Icha Paradise open and forgotten in his hand as he stared down at the scene playing out in the arena with a look of abject horror on his face.

"Should we… poke him, or something? Take his pulse?" Kurenai asked as she and Asuma kept an eye on the traumatized jounin.

"I vote for taking a picture," Asuma chuckled as he took a drag of his cigarette.

"You know those will kill you right?" Kurenai muttered disapprovingly.

"Not before something else does," Asuma replied.

"Yeah, like me," she muttered with a scowl.

"Is that a challenge Miss Yuhi?" Asuma teased, smirking around his cigarette.

Kurenai rolled her eyes before returning her attention to the match, frowning thoughtfully, giving the occasional glance to her traumatized senpai. "This has Anko written all over it," she finally decided.

"Oh yeah."

"You don't suppose Kakashi…"

"Without a doubt," Asuma agreed, taking a long drag from his smoke.

"Idiot," Kurenai muttered, shaking her head.

"Yup."

* * *

_ 'Too close! Too close! To close!'_ Shikamaru thought, rolling frantically as Sakura's whip snapped at him repeatedly. _'Fast! Imprecise. Less powerful? Distraction!'_ he realized, planting his hands and somersaulting out of the way not a moment before the ground where he would have been broke underneath another strike from Sakura's riding crop…

Only for him to come up with his back to a tree trunk.

_'Notgoodnotgoodnotgood! Shiny leather! Boot? Incoming! Need distance!'_ Shika thought as he ducked under the incoming roundhouse, already channeling the chakra for Kawarimi as Sakura's foot destroyed the tree.

"Bad boy!" Sakura cried, completing her spin and bringing the crop into Shika's chest and sending him staggering.

"Gah!" Shika yelped, instinctively dropping into a backwards summersault to avoid the devastating follow-up from the whip. _'Pain! Fuck! OW! Still conscious. Bruising. No breaks. No breaks?_' he listed, his mind racing as he flung himself into a back handspring even as Sakura charged him.

"No running Shika~" she sang, crop at the ready as she brought the whip around in an attempt to snare his ankle.

_'Roll! Roll! Need more distance!' _he thought, frantically diving over the whip, was just able to get out of the way as the crop came down, shattering the earth where he would have been if Sakura had been able to catch him with the whip. '_Damage inconsistent. Why?_' he wondered distractedly as he rolled to his feet.

_Crrrack!_

"Gah!" Shika cried as Sakura's whip collided with his chest and sent him tumbling. _'Ow! Ow! Fuck! Ow! Underarmor torn. Bleeding from sternum. Painful but negligible. Diaphragm spasming,' _he thought, scrambling to his feet.

Just in time to dive out of the way of Sakura's riding crop.

_ 'Too close! Too close! Crop, whip, crop. Pattern? Why?'_ he wondered just barely dodged the follow up strike from Sakura's whip only to have to dive away from the crop again a moment later.

"Get back here Shikamaru!" Sakura cried, obviously frustrated as she brought the whip around to catch him when he came out of his roll.

_'Crop, whip, crop,' _Shikamaru confirmed as he dove over the whip and into yet another somersault. _'Damage variation... Charge time! Irrelevant. She just used whip,'_ he realized, a plan forming in his head as he rolled to his feet, his fingers already forming the Nezumi seal in order to activate Kagemane no jutsu when she closed in to attack with the crop…

And Sakura wasn't there.

In fact, Sakura wasn't attacking anymore. She hadn't even bothered to move from her previous position and was just standing there, muttering agitatedly, and looking very annoyed as she glared at him.

"Proctor, I forfeit," Sakura sighed as she started coiling her whip.

The entire stadium went silent.

Shikamaru blinked, wondering if his hearing had been damaged.

Genma blinked, no longer chewing his senbon.

"Um… what?" the poor confused Nara asked.

"My strategy hinged on keeping you off balance. I've lost the initiative so at this point the match is a forgone conclusion," Sakura reasoned crossing her arms and looking incredibly frustrated. "I almost had you too! But you are a lot better at running away than I thought you'd be so…"

Silence…

"Ah-_hem_!" Sakura coughed, looking meaningfully at Genma.

"Huh?" he started, coming out of his daze. "Oh right! Winner by forfeit, Nara Shikamaru!"

"Good luck Shika!" Sakura laughed giving a two fingered salute as she turned to leave.

"She just completely outmaneuvered me…" Shikamaru observed, as he watched Sakura walk away.

"No shit?" Genma asked, quirking an eyebrow sarcastically.

"…Is it weird that I find that incredibly hot?" the poor confused Nara asked himself as Genma tried to call Neji and Sasuke to the floor through his uncontrollable laughter.

* * *

**Omake: A Nara Romance**

_Click_

"Something on your mind, son?" Shikaku asked.

_Click_

"No," Shikamaru replied with a frown.

_Click_

Shikaku hummed thoughtfully, completely unconvinced.

_Click_

"Hey dad?"

_Click_

"Yes?"

_Click_

"How did you and mom get together?"

_Click_

"Troublesome woman that she is, she came up to me one day told me that I was marrying her," Shikaku chuckled.

_Click_

"But you dated before that?" Shikamaru pressed.

_Click_

"I suppose you could say that," Shikaku replied, a knowing smile playing across his lips.

_Click_

Shikamaru looked up at his father, confused. "You didn't date?" he asked.

_Click_

"Not in the traditional sense," Shikaku admitted.

_Click_

"Then um… what did you do?" Shikamaru asked, nervous. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what that smile was for.

_Click_

"Well son, there comes a time in every young woman's life where she will develop certain… needs, and some of them are different than others," Shikaku began, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly as he fought to keep a straight face as all color drained from his son's face.

_Click_

Shikamaru blushed to the roots of his hair. "Um, okay…" he muttered, embarrassed.

_Click_

"Not the answer you were looking for?" Shikaku asked with a smirk.

_Click_

Shikamaru glared at his father.

_Click_

"Well, if you must know," Shikaku sighed dramatically. "You're aware that I'm the one who invented Kage Kubi Shibari, right?"

_Click_

Shikamaru nodded.

_Click_

"Well, what you didn't know was that it wasn't meant for combat when I created it and had nothing to do with choking," the elder Nara explained.

_Click_

"What does that have to do with it?"

_Click_

"Well, let's just say your mother is anything but troublesome when she needs her Shadow-sama," Shikaku snickered.

_Click_

Shikamaru was almost completely certain he didn't want to know what happened next, but curiosity is what killed the cat, hopefully having his curiosity sated in this instance would bring it back. "What happened?"

_Click_

Shikamaru would forever remember his father's explanation of how Kage Shibari came into being as a glaring example of learning more about his mother and what went on behind closed doors than ever wanted to know.

"You're lying. Mom is far too troublesome to ever do that," Shikamaru spluttered, turning an impressive shade of burgundy.  
Shikaku raised his eyebrow turned and raised his voice toward the upstairs. "Pet, come down here for a moment?"  
There was a clatter upstairs and running was heard. Shikamaru smirked for a moment thinking his dad was about to be proven wrong as she suddenly appeared, kneeling next to her husband, looking incredibly docile.

"Yes Shadow-sama?" Yoshino asked sweetly, acting as if Shikamaru wasn't even in the house.  
At this point Shikamaru found himself a touch over-stressed as the revelations of the night caught up with him and keeled out of his chair in a dead faint.

Shikaku smirked, staring down at the board.

_Click_

"Checkmate," he said, before putting his arm around his wife and leading her upstairs.

* * *

**End Notes**

YES I know it's short, deal with it. I had to write this through the biggest case of writer's block I have EVER experienced so you're lucky you got this much. Now, that said, I will be coming back to this chp in the future and attempting to add to it. If I do add to it I will tell you.

So, chapter name. I had always planned this fight to be a battle of wits, an epic meeting of minds and matching of strategy… which sort of went out the window when I started looking at how I'd set things up. Going into this Sakura was almost entirely CQC which, against a Nara one on one, is a fight already lost. So there I was, stumped and playing chess against a bot when I used a strategy called the Queen's Gambit when it came to me. How have I always handled my friend that can out think me at chess? I add a speed clock and wreck his ass because he doesn't have time to think! So I thought it was appropriate.

Now then, some of you may have noticed oddities in earlier chps. Missing line breaks, strange formatting, etc. These are more than likely glitches from the FFnet staff's apparent need to fix and fiddle with things that ARE NOT BROKEN! Now, I would gladly go back and fix these errors myself as I have many times in the past. Unfortunately, at some point the FFnet staff fucked with their word processor that WAS PERFECTLY FINE and I now have trouble reading my documents because the font is so fucking tiny in the editor that I can barely tell what I'm looking at. So, while YES I have noticed these issues, I am currently not going to bother fixing them until such time as I can do so without a magnifying glass.

* * *

**Rant**

**Holy fucking shit… it's actually done. I never thought I'd make it before the end of the semester. Believe it or not I've been writing almost constantly since I last posted. Unfortunately, most of that was one essay or another for my teachers. Evidently I lucked out and got TWO professors that are absolutely in love with essays seeing as those are the ONLY kind of assignments I've received all semester.**

**That said, I'm thinking of starting a Drabbles Fic where I would post all my half baked ideas and fic fragments. Who thinks I should do it?  
**


	25. Lesson Two

Insert disclaimer here

Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)

_Blah Blah Blah_ Thought or some transaction within someone's mind

**Blah Blah Blah** Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold

BLAH BLAH BLAH yelling or emphasis of some sort

* * *

**Naruto of the Nine Tails **

Rated M for language, violence, adult content, and graphic imagery

* * *

**Chp 25: Lesson Two**

_**Earlier that morning…**_

The sun hadn't even risen when you could find Uchiha Sasuke walking sedately through the trees of his team's training ground appearing lost in thought. Eventually Sasuke stopped infront of the training posts where he and his team had become gennin, his eyes searching the characters carved into the memorial stone until he found the name he was looking for.

_Uchiha Itachi_

Sasuke had known about this place long before he had become part of Team 7. In fact, he had found it shortly after the incident at Naruto's cage. It had always given him a strange feeling of closeness to his deceased sibling. So he had done what he had always done. He told his brother everything.

He complained about the girls at school, Sakura especially.

He explained the latest menial tasks that Iruka had assigned in class.

He'd talked about his training and how far he had progressed.

He jabbered excitedly about becoming a gennin before bemoaning the evils of D-rank missions.

He rambled about his team's adventure in Nami no Kuni.

Everything.

More recently he'd shared his doubts about entering the Chunnin Exam and spilled his guts about his fight with Orochimaru and just how small he had felt when he had watched Naruto fighting the traitor. He'd even told Itachi about how confused he'd felt about his feelings for his teammates.

For the longest time Sasuke stood there in the dark just staring down at his brother's name etched into the polished stone until the sun peeked into the clearing.

"I'll be competing in the chunnin exam finals today," he said, staring down at the stone as he spoke. "I forgot to mention that I had been paired against Hyuuga Neji. He's the one that tried to-" he cut himself off, looking disgusted, as though he couldn't stand to finish the sentence. "They say he's a genius but…" he started, his voice trailing off slowly as he tried to gather himself before giving an aggravated sigh and tugged at his hair. He was talking in circles and he knew it. "I know this isn't the sort of future you wanted me to show you but… what he did… what he did was unforgivable," he said with finality, looking away from his brother's name, almost like he was ashamed, and turning to leave. "I'm going to destroy him, Aniki," he whispered, as he moved into the trees.

* * *

_**Konoha Coliseum Present Time**_

"Good day my youthful compatriots! My sincerest apologies for my unyouthful punctuality. I was escorting Lee from the…" Gai began only for his voice to trail off as he caught sight of Kakashi. "My Eternal Rival!" he cried in alarm, rushing to his friend's side. "What has happened? What unyouthful fate has befallen you to be reduced to such a state!"

"He's in shock Gai," Asuma answered as a knowing smirk pulled at the edge of his mouth.

"…That's all?" Gai asked bemusedly.

Asuma blinked. That wasn't the response he had been expecting. "Well, yes. In the last match…" he said, starting to explain the previous match only for his voice to trail off as Gai drew his hand back like a pitcher preparing to throw a fast ball.

"DYNAMIC… BITCH SLAP!" Gai roared, his palm crashing into his rivals cheek with enough force to send Kakashi tumbling through the air and into the stands bellow.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee cried, scandalized, as everyone present stared at the green clad jounin in complete shock. "That was- how could you- it was so- the unyouthfulness!" the poor boy sputtered as he attempted to find words to describe the sheer level of shock

"Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures, Lee," Gai replied, nodding sagely…surprisingly he was pulling off the stereotypical Wiseman look fairly well, somehow.

Lee stared at him, mouth hanging open incredulously.

Gai surreptitiously leaned toward his student… not that it did much good with everyone staring at them. "Write that down," he stage whispered.

Suddenly Lee had out his notepad as a pencil appeared in his bandaged hand.

Tenten palmed her forehead. "I'm surrounded by idiots," she moaned as Lee began to scribble furiously.

Kurenai glanced nervously at the railing where Kakashi had disappeared. "You think he'll be alright?" Kurenai asked as she turned to Asuma only to scowl when she found him looking completely unconcerned as he stared over her shoulder.

"Hm? You say something Kurenai?"

"Gah!" Kurenai yelped, whirling around to find Kakashi standing _right_ behind her with his nose buried in Icha Icha: Violence and looking no worse for wear. "Damnit Kakashi! Don't _do_ that!" she shrieked as Asuma chuckled behind her only to quale as she turned her anger on him.

"So… our little prodigies are up next," Gai observed conversationally.

"So they are," Kakashi agreed, never taking his eyes off his book.

"Should I be worried?" Gai asked, staring down into the arena.

For a long moment, Kakashi didn't say anything. "Did you say goodbye?"

"…Yes," Gai responded quietly.

* * *

_**Arena Floor**_

"Combatants ready?" Genma asked standing between the two boys.

"I am," Neji replied, dropping slowly into his families signature ready stance.

Sasuke nodded spreading his legs into a wider base, one hand held in a fist near his cheek, the other held toward his opponent.

Genma nodded. "Second match, Hyuuga Neji against Uchiha Sasuke! HAJIME!" he cried, slicing his hand through the air and leaping away from the two combatants.

For a moment, nothing happened. Both boys simply stood there, holding their stances as they sized each other up, looking for openings as the crowd held its breath.

Then Sasuke smirked and, ever so slowly, uncurled his forward fist turning the palm skyward and flicked his fingers in a "Come Hither" motions.

Neji quirked a brow at his opponent. Uchiha was going to challenge him in close quarters? And had yet to activate sharingan? How foolish... in fact, he felt marginally insulted. Though, perhaps that was his opponent's intent? Or maybe his opponent was simply more arrogant than he had been lead to believe. No matter. Whatever the intent, the result would be the same.

"Hn," Neji snorted, shifting his stance ever so slightly as he prepared to charge. Whatever the case may be, it didn't actually matter. Uchiha Sasuke would fall like the others.

Sasuke for is part just smirked, waiting for Neji to make his move.

And then they were on each other, their limbs flashing like striking vipers. The sheer skill the two gennin displayed as they danced around each other was enough to make even the most cynical shinobi nod in approval, if grudgingly.

At first, Neji clearly had the advantage over Sasuke, pushing him back at every turn with an assault that was as ruthless as it was graceful until the young Uchiha was forced to activate his Sharingan. From that point the match became a back and forth as Sasuke used his bloodline and short range ninjutsu to make up the disparity in their taijutsu skills.

_'He's good,'_ Neji mused as a scowl slowly etched itself deeper and deeper into his face.

Somehow Uchiha was keeping up with him, deflecting his strikes or dodging them all together. It couldn't be called a perfect defense by any means but Uchiha's strategy was able to misdirect his strikes enough that the damage he had been able to do was negligible, a mere fraction of what Jyuuken was normally capable of. He would still win of course, that was a foregone conclusion. While he wasn't dealing as much damage as he felt he should have been he would eventually wear his opponent down and by that point it would be too late for Uchiha to resort to other forms of attack. That said, the thought of winning this battle by way of attrition galled him. He wanted a decisive victory, a clear showing of the difference between their abilities that could not be ignored or explained away.

Anything less was… unacceptable.

Fortunately for Neji, he knew just how he wanted to accomplish this…

"Running away, Hyuuga?" Sasuke taunted as Neji skipped backwards out of his reach.

"Not at all," Neji replied, completely unfazed as he dropped low to the ground, entering a completely new stance pausing for just a moment to let Sasuke move to the right range. "You just entered the range of my Hakke," he whispered closing the distance between himself and his opponent in an instance.

Sasuke's eyes went wide. "Oh fu-"

"Nisho!" Neji murmured, striking the first two points.

Wincing, Sasuke darted to the side, attempting to side step the rest of Neji's attack as he started the seals for the Housenka no jutsu.

"Yonsho!" Neji continued, effortlessly following Sasuke's movements as he struck the second set of points, interrupting Sasuke's jutsu in the process.

Hissing in pain and favoring his side, Sasuke attempted to back pedal.

_'Futile,'_ Neji thought, easily closing the distance. "Hachisho!"

"Gah!" Sasuke cried as the force and chakra of Neji's strikes knocked him back.

"Jurokusho!"

Gritting his teeth, Sasuke did his best to intercept as many of Neji's strikes as possible, using sharingan to follow his opponents hands as much as he could but with little success.

"Sanjunisho!" Neji cried, stepping into his opponent's guard before seamlessly entering into the final set of his attack. Suddenly his hands were a blur of motion, striking with a speed and precision that few but the most dedicated of taijutsu masters could hope to match.

And then it was over.

"Rokujuyonsho…" Neji murmured as he watched Sasuke collapse onto his hands and knees.

"Heh, that all you got?" Sasuke gasped as he pushed himself into a kneeling position.

"Bold words for someone who can barely move," Neji sneered, staring contemptuously down at his opponent. Admittedly, it was rather impressive that the Uchiha wasn't already unconscious, but he saw no reason to give the boy hope.

"You…you're right," Sasuke replied, panting heavily and clutching his side in obvious pain as a slow trickle of blood oozed past his lips.

"Or, rather, you would be if any of this had happened," a voice whispered as a deafening silence consumed the stadium.

Then Neji watched as Uchiha Sasuke, still staring at him defiantly, vanished before his eyes; just disintegrated and blew away like dust in the wind.

"Genjutsu?" Neji wondered. How had he missed that? '_Doesn't matter,'_ he decided as he formed the Ram sign. "Kai!"

"That won't work," Sasuke said, standing casually to Neji's left.

Neji whirled, his hand glowing with chakra as he made to strike the Uchiha only for his opponent to vanish in a murder of crows.

"Useless," Sasuke murmured, reappearing several feet behind Neji with his arms crossed.

_'Genjutsu again?'_ Neji wondered, a deep frown creasing his lips. "That shouldn't be possible," he whispered to himself, never taking his eyes off his opponent as he once more performed the release. His byakuugan had been active and he had been aware of the possibility. Even if Uchiha had managed to catch him again, there should have been some sort of flaw that someone without byakuugan couldn't account for. Failing that he should have been able to see the release of chakra. He should have noticed _something_.

"Sharingan makes many things possible," Sasuke said, a knowing smirk playing on his lips as he seemed to shimmer as though he were only a mirage.

Neji's eyes went wide. _'Again!?'_ he wondered, his hands already flying back into the Ram seal. "Kai!" he cried.

But nothing happened. Sasuke remained, standing there in the deafening silence.

"Kai!" Neji repeated more forcefully.

The stadium remained silent, lifeless.

"_Kai!" _Neji roared, a visible burst of chakra washing over his body.

"And civilians have the gall to compare our clans," Sasuke scoffed, sneering as he turned away in disgust. "If this is what the Hyuuga consider a prodigy these days… perhaps it is better that your father didn't live to see this."

Neji froze. "What did you say?" he whispered, his eyes wild as

Sasuke's sneer turned positively cruel. "I said that if your father hadn't sacrificed himself in the Kumo-Hyuuga incident, he would have _died_ of _embarrassment_ when he realized what a complete and utter failure his son had become."

"What the hell would you know about my father!" Neji hissed through his teeth as all thoughts of genjutsu and competing for the rank of chunnin evaporated out of his head.

"I know that he sacrificed himself for the good of Konoha and her people," Sasuke drawled.

"My father was murdered!" Neji roared, glaring bloody murder at the last Uchiha as his tenuous grip on his emotions snapping like cheap string in the face of his rage.

"Murdered…" Sasuke repeated, rolling the word off his tongue as if he were tasting it, testing its flavor and meaning.

"The Main House-"

"The Main House is nothing," Sasuke snarled. "Even with clan autonomy laws coming into play, the Hokage is the only one that can order and active duty ninja of Konoha to his death without lethal consequences."

"What are you-"

"Was your father in chains when he left?"

"No-"

"Had he been hurt? Was he coerced into going?"

"How should I-"

"Did he say goodbye?" Sasuke whispered, leaning over and staring straight into Neji's eyes, whirling Sharingan boring into the milky depths of Byakuugan.

Neji stared back, saying nothing as he remembered the last time his father held him, how his father smiled as he went to die…

"We all die Hyuuga Neji, we all meet our end," Sasuke told him. "Your father simply had the courage to choose his end and the luxury of making it _mean_ something." As he spoke, Sasuke slowly moved forward, casually walking up to Neji as if he hadn't had a care in the world until he was standing right in front of his silent opponent. "Your father died for his family. He died for his brother. He died for _you_. Your father died a hero and you… you are a disgrace to his memory," Sasuke whispered, his tone sharp and cold like the edge of a kunai.

And then the stadium came back to life.

The wind blew softly over the walls as birds chirped somewhere beyond the raised concrete.

The crowd rumbled with the low hum of curiosity as they stared down into the arena.

And Neji stood, in his family's signature ready stance across from Uchiha Sasuke.

A single tear leaked from the corner of Neji's eye and ran down his otherwise impassive face. "That's quite a dangerous Genjutsu," he murmured, still holding his stance.

"Who said it was over?" Sasuke replied, a knowing smirk playing across his lips.

For a long moment Neji remained silent, weighing Sasuke's words. As much as he hated to admit it, he really had no way of knowing whether this was real or simply another of Uchiha's illusions. In any case, he had not been capable of countering them and that meant that, whatever else… he had already lost.

"I forfeit," Neji whispered.

"Winner by forfeit, Uchiha Sasuke!" Genma called, slashing his hand through the air to emphasize his words as Sasuke spun on his heel and began to walk out of the arena.

_'So he did release it,'_ Neji mused bitterly as he spare a brief glance at the crowd before returning his gaze to his opponent. "When?" Neji demanded, not even sure what question he was asking as he glared daggers into Sasuke's back as the Uchiha walked away from him.

Sasuke paused mid-step before turning to smirk at Neji over his shoulder. "A good ninja should never reveal his tricks… especially when he has an audience," Sasuke drawled, jerking his head toward the crowd even as a disappointed groan went up from the lower seats.

* * *

_**Meanwhile, in the stands…**_

"…God damnit," Kakashi sighed, palming his face.

"Kakashi?" Gai asked, confused. Things had gone much better than he had expected, what was Kakashi complaining about.

"I'm going to have to fight Ibiki to keep Sasuke from vanishing into T & I," Kakashi sighed massaging the bridge of his nose as he muttered obscenities under his breath.

"…Hehe!" Gai clapped his hand over his mouth as the giggle slipped out but continued to shake as he tried to contain his mirth.

"Don't hurt yourself on my account, Gai," Kakahsi muttered sarcastically.

"BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!" 

* * *

_**Meanwhile in Sasuke's apartment…**_

"_If you don't leave me alone. You're gonna have to send me home. Cause I'm about to whip somebody's ass…"_

On Sasuke's nightstand his MP3 player switched off of repeat and continued on to the next track.

* * *

**End Notes**

Quick question, who noticed the hint in the title? If you didn't, it's a reference to the bell test. Kakashi made an example of each of the three major disciplines calling them lessons. "Lesson Two" was Genjutsu. I was tempted to name the last chp Lesson One and the next Lesson Three but then I realized Sakura was going to be more weapon based so that wasn't going to work.

* * *

**Rant**

**NEVER AGAIN!**

Trouble in paradise?

**NEVER! Never ever! I hate writing head trips that are supposed to have significant moral lessons or any purpose whatsoever! And the angst! Oh god, the angst!**

Gave you trouble did it?

…**You know, if you weren't a figment of my imagination I would do horrible, terrible, inhuman things to you.**

That's never stopped you from abusing your fictional character before.

**Excellent point!**

Oh shit…


End file.
